


Rabbit Heart

by morgana_l



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Dark, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Minor Character Death, POV Ginny Weasley, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-10-20 13:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 73,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10663953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana_l/pseuds/morgana_l
Summary: Darkness has taken over. Now it's time for Ginny, the youngest Weasley and NOT Harry Potter's girlfriend, to take fate into her own hands. Set during DH, mostly canon.





	1. Black Pawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! This is a translated story, so I apologize in advance for any grammar issues. 
> 
> Also - the names of the chapters are Alice In Wonderland themed, and the quotes at the start of every chapter belong of course to Lewis Carrol alone, taken from Alice In Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. I don't own nether of them, nor the Harry potter fandom.
> 
> Please R&R :)

_"It's a great game of chess that's being played – all over the world – if this is the world at all..."_

 

Ginny's body slammed into the wall and she choked. Her hairdo came apart as her head hit the hard bricks, and the golden pins that held it fell like autumn leaves at the end of the summer.

The Death Eaters scattered around the house like an epidemic, breaking and turning every object in their path, as if the person they were looking for could be hiding beneath them.

"He's not here!" The call came from behind the silver mask of  a black- robed wizard that burst into the living room with his companions. "Only that friend of his is upstairs. Seems the filth of their house finally got to him, he's drooling and covered with pox. Disgusting."

"Should I get it out of him?" another Death Eater said in a deep voice, his wand dangerously close to Arthur Weasley's pale forehead. He was sweaty put steady, holding his sobbing wife bravely.

"They don't know anything," said the Death Eater who was the leader of the group with a sneer. "High and mighty Potter and his little friends would never put their loved ones in danger. Take anything that could be useful and let's go."

The curse that held Ginny was removed and she fell to the floor, landing in a bed of her dress' golden fabric, panting and holding her throat. To her right was Fleur, still in the glamorous wedding dress, huddled with her family. She was holding her weeping sister and Bill, whose scared face held a frightening look of hatred. On her left Fred and George crowd together, glaring murderously at the Death Eaters.

The Death Eaters emptied the kitchen and all the food left from the wedding party, in addition to all the potions from the pantry, before they left the house and Apperated. The crackling sounds were carried in the wind up to the house, and then everything fell silent.

Fred was the first to recover after the sudden attack. He went to the coat closet and picked up one of his father's old robes that the Death Eaters had thrown on the floor. "I never thought I'd say that, but were lucky that all our stuff is junk."

Instead of calming down, Gabrielle burst into even stronger sobs. Her parents hugged her, and Fleur clung to her new husband, who put his arms around her protectively. His frown turned into a pained look.

Ginny got up and went to the open door. Her legs trembled, but she ignored the unpleasant feeling, imploring herself to convert the fear into anger.

The summer night lay peacefully outside the house, oblivious of the event that had taken place, and that would change all of their lives. The Ministry of Magic was seized by Death Eaters. The war has taken a new twist.

Ginny stared into the darkness. Wedding decorations, tables and chairs were scattered around the yard in a complete mess. For a few moments she allowed herself to hope to see familiar figures marching out of the darkness, alert and ready for anything...

But the ruined yard remained silent. Ginny's mother and father came to stand behind her. Her mother sniffed and said in a strangled voice, "We'll have to clean all this up..."

"Don't worry about that, Molly," her husband said in a serious tone.

"Come inside, Ginny," Molly said, wiping her face with a handkerchief and insisting on acting as if everything was normal. "The night's chilly, you'll catch a cold."

Ginny ignored her because she knew she was only looking for an excuse to be overprotective.

"They're really gone," she said, more to herself than to her parents.

"Of course they are. They have been preparing for something like this since the beginning of the summer," Arthur said, and Ginny had never heard him  sound so grave. "At least they weren't caught..."

"I can't believe they didn't take me with them."

"How can you say that, Ginny?" Molly said suddenly. "You're still in school, you can't – "

"They're still in school, too," Ginny said angrily, feeling the cold night air against her warm body. Suddenly tears choked her, and she used her fiery red hair to cover her face and hide them from sight. "I can't believe he left like that."

Her mother knew immediately what she was talking about, and she spoke sternly, "Harry has a job to do. He can't allow romance to interfere with his calling."

Ginny turned to her mother, feeling an urge to unravel all the tension she had accumulated since Kingsley's fatal announcement. "So what if he's everyone's hero? He could've at least said goodbye, he can't just – "

Arthur put a hand on his wife's shoulder, but that didn't help restrain her. Her face turned red and her eyes filled with tears of anger and fear. "It's a war, Ginevra, it's not a game. If Harry had stayed here to say goodbye to you the Death Eaters would have caught him, and what do you think would have happened then? You can't stand in his way – "

Ginny started her way between her parents, past her still stunned family, and climbed up the steps in a fury. The heels of her shoes, bought especially for the wedding, clattered harshly on the hardwood floor.

Ginny knew exactly where she was going. The Death Eaters didn't spare the upper floors, and Harry and Ron's room was completely destroyed. For a moment she panicked when she saw their family Roll, dressed in Ron's pajamas and looking oddly similar to him, growling and drooling in her older brother's bed, his skin covered with ugly purple stains.

How long have they been planning this sudden departure? The notion that they had been planning their journey for months and hadn't bothered to tell her angered Ginny even more. She hated being left out of the loop, and Harry knew that.

She took off her shoes and threw them furiously and with dangerous skill at the pictures beside Harry's bed with. His parents and young godfather retreated in panic when glass shattered and the frame hit the floor, the shinning wedding day destroyed. Her own image disappeared behind the frame of the other picture despite picture- Harry's pleas, and they too fell off the dresser.

Walking barefoot on the wreckage, she picked Harry's remaining belongings from the mess and tossed them against the walls, as if the childish gesture could have hurt him. She hated the Death Eaters for the war they were waging, but most of all she hated Harry for leaving her, even though he knew what he had meant to her, and her mother for siding with him rather than her, as if he were one of her sons. He always has been, damn him.

Soon Charlie appeared, holding her freckled arms tightly, stopping her from causing any more damage in her anger. The Roll muttered something indistinct and snored loudly, rolling over to his other side.

"I hate him!" She shouted at him, as if he were Harry himself. She felt she was suffocating with rage. "Why did he leave? He always leaves – "

"He had to, Ginny," Charlie said, and in made Ginny even angrier. He held her again, as if he was trying to soothe a nervous dragon, and said, "Don't take your anger out on me, kid. I hate to rain on your parade, but you know it's true. There are things he has to do."

Ginny knew he was right, that Harry was _The Chosen One_ , but it didn't help sooth her sudden hatred for him, and the clashing desires to be with him and to never see him again. It seemed that this was how it has always been between them – a clash of conflicting emotions and desires.

Realizing that she has calmed down a bit, Charlie smiled and said, "You have to be strong now, for him and for us. Alright?"

"Not for him, for me," Ginny added in a low voice, still feeling disgruntled. The golden bridesmaid's dress felt irritatingly scratchy, and she just wanted to get in her bed.

"That's the spirit," Charlie said with some forced glee. His eyes darted to an object that was lying on the floor, half under Harry's bed. He lifted it and after a brief look handed it to Ginny. "Look, he didn't forget you. Your birthday's not until next week."

Ginny took the long, narrow box, which was decorated with a bright blue ribbon. On the edge of the box was written in Harry's handwriting:

_'To Gin,_

_Happy Birthday'._

"Probably some silly piece of jewelry," she said, feeling suddenly tired.

"But it's nice that he took care of it in advance, don't you think?" Charlie tried to cheer her up.

Ginny made an unsuccessful effort to smile at him."Good night, Charlie."

Once in her ruined room she took off her dress, tossed it on the rubble of her fallen table, and put on a big T-shirt that lay beneath a Weird Sisters poster that had been ripped off the wall. She garbed Arnold, who was hiding under his bed, and soothed him. Then, lying on the bed from which the sheets were stripped roughly, she put her face in her hands and sighed deeply.

She decided she was glad he was gone. She hated the way he avoided her gaze, and yet kept watching her when he thought she didn't notice. She hated him for thinking he had to protect her.

She vowed to stop thinking about him then, telling herself that she was only worried about her brother Ron and her good friend Hermione. Harry Potter, the heroic and noble git, could take care of himself, and avoid death even better than he had avoided her searching gaze.

Finally she was overcome by curiosity and opened the box that lay on the bed beside her. She was surprised to find that instead of a piece of jewelry, on the silk bed lay a medium-length wand made of reddish wood.

Ginny felt a mix of confusion and renewed anger. Was Harry so stupid that he thought she didn't have a wand?

Or could there be logic behind that gift? Ginny didn't want to believe it, but she knew there might come a time, maybe sooner than she thought, when she would need that gift. She decided to keep it a secret, just in case.


	2. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: the names of the chapters are Alice In Wonderland themed, and the quotes at the start of every chapter belong of course to Lewis Carrol alone, taken from Alice In Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass

_"In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."_

 

Remus and Tonks could have looked like a perfectly ordinary couple expecting their first child, if not for the aura of alertness that surrounded them as they accompanied Ginny and her mother to Platform nine and three quarters. The station seemed to be operating as usual on that gray early autumn day, and Ginny was jealous of the Muggles who were living their peaceful lives without knowing that someone out there was intent on doing them harm.

She pushed her cart reluctantly, Remus and Tonks walking in front of her and her mother behind her. She kept telling herself that she could take care of herself, and that she didn't need them there. She glanced over her shoulder to her mother, who seemed too tired to be alert. Ginny noticed that the Death Eaters' constant watch over their home frightened and weakened her; The round, smiling woman became thin and sad.

Ginny's father was no better then her. He refused to tell his children what his work in the Ministry was like these days, but when he came home at night pale and exhausted, confused as his wife seated him at the table with a cup of tea and snatched the newspaper that was filled with stories about new laws and regulations from his hands, Ginny could imagine what use the Death Eaters were making of his knowledge of muggles.

They approached the gate. Ginny was already used to the sense of being watched, so she felt no fear when she noticed a stranger who attempted to dress as a muggle but failed watching her openly.

A cloud of gray smoke enveloped them as they reached the other side of the magical gate. The familiar atmosphere of the Hogwarts Express had faded like childhood innocence, leaving the platform a quiet place where people said their goodbyes as if they were setting on their final journey. Like every other year, Ginny felt as though the passing into the platform gave her a brief access all her memories of that day from previous years. She used to enjoy revisiting these memories in previous years, but now they made her feel only sadness and an irritating sense of a missed opportunity, as if she had allowed a rare resource to be foolishly wasted.

She felt a chill, and suddenly she realized that the London air was colder than she had expected it to be. Were they all really so worried and scared, or was it just the way she saw everything these days, dark and foreboding?

Remus and Tonks went to secure the platform, hand in hand, each holding his wand in a hidden place. Ginny sat on top of her trunk near the platform wall and sighed. Her mother stood silently beside her. She wanted to ask her if she really had to go back, but she knew what her answer would be – don't be silly, Ginerva, of course you do. You're still a student. You're a little girl – but you have to stop acting like a child.

She hadn't forgiven her completely since their quarrel on Bill and Fleur's wedding night. She just couldn't stand being treated like she wasn't able to understand what was going on.

Students that Ginny knew were passing through the platform, and it was never this hard for her to fake a smile when they waved at her uneasily. Only a few of them stopped to talk to her.  
Once She had been the center of attention, but ever since she began to hang out with her friends from the D.A (Neville Longbottom the loser and crazy Loony Lovegood, with the unforgettable addition of her gruff brother, the worst keeper in Gryffindor history, his book- worm girlfriend Hermione Granger, and the worst of them – the strange and controversial Harry Potter) she was pushed aside by the girls who had once been her best friends.

She didn't care about all that, now. At first she was only pretending that she didn't care, when secretly she did, but now she was mature enough to understand the timidity and foolishness of the urge to be adored by people she didn't even like.

Remus and Tonks came back from their scan, carrying with them a grave seriousness. The jolly and funny Tonks, whom Ginny had learned to love almost as if she was her elder sister, had become a quiet, thoughtful woman, like her sad and serious husband. Ginny had admired her from the day they met. Now the passion in which she protected her baby, even in the days when Remus was absent (he had been wandering the country with a heart filled with guilt and they thought he might never return) inspired Ginny and give her the will to keep fighting.

"The area is clear," Tonks whispered to Molly. "Maybe too clear..."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't think it's strange that after they've been watching us for weeks, they suddenly let her get on the train without surveillance?" Tonks nodded toward Ginny as she spoke. "We should report this to Kingsley. We should be ready."

"Ready for what?" Ginny asked with some tension.

"Anything," Tonks replied with some hesitation. Ginny wanted to question her, but she began a conversation with her mother about her pregnancy and avoided Ginny's attempts to catch her attention.

Instead, she looked up at Remus. "You'll tell me, won't you?"

Remus smiled sadly. He sat down on the trunk beside her. "There's nothing to tell, Ginny. We don't know what they're planning." Ginny looked worried, and he said, "But we'll keep an eye on Hogwarts, don't worry. Kingsley's the head of the Order now, and he knows what he's doing."

Ginny had the feeling that he still wasn't telling her everything, but she didn't press. Instead she said, "You know, I'm glad you didn't leave Tonks. I don't know what we'd do without you."

"I don't know what I would do without her," Remus said, glancing at Tonks with glossy eyes. Suddenly he leaned towards Ginny and said quietly, "Listen, Ginny, did you get Harry's gift?"

Ginny was taken by surprise. "How do you know about that?"

"He told me. I met him before I came back home."

Ginny's eyes widened. She didn't know whether she should be curious or irritated. "When? Where? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It doesn't matter now," Remus said, looking at his watch. "You have to keep it in a safe place, alright? Better on your person, so if someone was to look through your things it would still be safe. Not that I think it's likely to happen... Just for good measure."

Ginny raised an eyebrow. Remus' attempt to make reality look less terrible wasn't very successful. "Did he tell you anything else?"

"Well – " Remus didn't have time to say anything, because the train whistled at that moment. Ginny's mother suddenly panicked and urged her to get on the train.  
They hugged briefly at the cabin door, and Remus helped Ginny get her trunk inside. Ginny got on and hugged Tonks through the window.

"Take care, sis," she whispered in Ginny's ear.

Remus took her hand as the train began to move slowly. He looked into her eyes and said, "Remember."

The railway curved and Ginny's loved ones disappeared. She was alone as the train was speeding out of the station. She took her trunk and dragged it reluctantly through the aisle, looking for a vacant cabin.

It seemed to her that the train was emptier than ever, and yet from every cabin eyes were staring at her. She looked forward proudly, though she wanted to shout at them that she wasn't with Harry anymore, so they can stop staring like idiots. She passed a cabin full of students who used to be her friends. She pretended not to see them, and they in turn seemed a bit uncomfortable, and didn't call her to sit with them.

"Ginny!" a dreamy voice called behind her. Luna caught up with her, smiling widely. For the first time in weeks a real smile came over Ginny's as the two embraced.

Luna's hair was tied in a long braid decorated with blue, yellow, red, and even green ribbons, and she wore a blue summer dress over an old pair of jeans which rode up to her ankles, and over that a thick purple sweater that closed with a big yellow button over her chest. One of her socks were red and the other striped in all the colors of the rainbow. Out of the corner of her eye, Ginny noticed some of her old friends giggling at Luna's appearance.

Luna paid them no attention. She merely looked a bit worried as she held her bottle-caps necklace uneasily. "I was afraid you wouldn't come this year."

"Well, here I am," said Ginny, not mentioning the fact that she had planned not to come back at all.

"Neville and I saved you a seat," Luna said brightly. Holding her hand, she led her away from their gawking classmates.

Neville was sitting alone in a cabin at the end of the train. He got up when Ginny came in, then looked very embarrassed, as if regretting his extreme reaction. He seemed to have become taller during the summer, and his face had turned firmer, losing it's child-like roundness; A few bristles even began to grow near his ears.

"What did I do to deserve such a welcome?" she said with bitter amusement as she lifted her trunk into the shelf above the seat.

Neville recovered of his initial shock. "Let me help you." He grabbed the trunk and helped Ginny to put it in it's place.

She sat down in front of Neville and Luna and grabbed Arnold, who was hiding in her hair, scared of the train station commotion. She caressed him and he let out a wheezing sound, rolling sound in her hand.

"Where's... You know?" Neville asked anxiously.

Ginny almost told them the truth, but then she remembered Remus and Tonks. Thinking that someone might be listening to her from the bare corners of the cabin, she said, "Ron's ill. Spattergruet, I think..."

"It's always bad, especially in teenagers," Luna said dreamily.

"Hermione's parents took her out of school," Ginny went on, "They're muggles and everything, and they're afraid because of what's been happening. She's not happy about that, but she'll study from home."

"Well, she knows things at N.E.W.T.s' level anyway," Neville said, "And what about –?"

"I don't know." Ginny ended the conversation abruptly. She had no doubt that if someone was listening to them, he knew Harry had gone out to fight him.

The ride passed quietly. In Harry, Ron and Hermione's cabin there was always a conversation going on, and Ginny would always arrive at Hogwarts with her gums aching from laughter. That year, however, the atmosphere was bleak. Luna was leafing through the _Quibbler_ while Neville and Ginny looked out the window in silence.

In the afternoon (the tea trolley didn't pass that day, and there was a rumor that the trolley witch had resigned) Dean and Seamus came to visit them. Ginny was surprised to see the Patil twins and Lavender Brown accompanying them, not even a trace of a giggle on their faces. But mostly she was surprised to see Dean, who was wearing a T-shirt of his favorite football team proudly.

"Why did you come back?" She snapped as soon as one of his long legs stepped into the cabin.

He gave a kind, though slightly troubled smile. "Glad to see you too, Ginny."

"It's not funny, Dean. The Ministry is keeping a record of muggle- borns now."

Dean sighed, as if he had had that conversation many times, and sat down opposite to Ginny.

"I've heard. But the safest place for me is in Hogwarts, isn't it? McGonagall won't let the Ministry take any children, especially if the rumor is true and the Death Eaters have taken over."

Ginny wasn't satisfied with that. "I don't know... Maybe you should – "

"Besides, we can't do anything about it until we get to Hogwarts," Dean settled the argument lightly, leaning back in his seat. Luna offered him a sugar quill and he took one gratefully.

Seamus sat down very close to Ginny and put an arm around her, as if she were his sister. "How's it going, Ginny? How's the trio?"

Ginny told him the same lie she told Luna and Neville, but she knew that Seamus wasn't buying her story.

"Harry left you alone just like that?" He said, raising one bright eyebrow.

Ginny folded her arms in protest. "Me and Harry aren't together anymore, you know."

The level of interest rose at once at the Patil twins and Lavender's section of the cabin. Dean gave her a strange look as Neville choked on the Butterbeer he had brought in his pack. Even Luna looked up and began to listen to the conversation.

"But," Parvati said, and Ginny was convinced that soon everyone at school would know she and Harry broke up. "You and Harry were... Like, forever."

"Apparently not," said Ginny sharply, straining to sound as if she didn't care.

Seamus and the girls left soon after, but Dean decided to stay. He took Seamus' place beside Ginny and they talked about Quidditch for a while. Neville listened to them intently, but didn't say anything.

Outside the window the city views were replaced by wide fields, mountains and rivers flowing south to the sea. By the time they reached Hogwarts it was already very dark. Ginny hadn't expected to see Hogwarts from the train since her second year, but she looked out for it every year anyway.

What she saw made her let out a cry of disbelief. She jumped to her feet, trying to see better. The other three looked at her questioningly. Neville got up and looked out too, and his face took on a look if murderous rage that Ginny had never seen him wear before.

The castle stood a long way away, lit by an eerie green light, and above it a green skull with an infinite snake crawling out of it's mouth tainted the sky, mocking and cruel.

It seemed that they weren't the only ones to notice, because hysteria spread throughout the train. Ginny heard students call out to each other and cry, running from cabin to cabin.

"Death Eaters," Dean, who was standing behind Ginny, muttered.

"What are we going to do?" Neville asked in a hollow voice, staring at the spectacle.

Luna came to stand between him and Ginny and took both of their hands. Ginny felt herself tremble slightly as she stared at the skull, as if she could make it dissapear with her burning gaze.

"What can we do?" Ginny said, "We'll fight."

Dean looked at her. "Do you think we have a chance?"

Ginny nodded bravely, afraid that her voice would betray her uncertainty.

"Let's gather the D.A."


	3. All The Paths Lead To The Beginning

_"Wandering up and down, and trying turn after turn, but always coming back to the house, do what she would."_

 

All the members of the DA who were still in school were gathered in their cabin. Ginny realized they were far fewer than she had thought. Harry, Ron and Hermione weren't present while Fred and George, Lee, Angelina, Katie, Alicia and Cho Chang had graduated. Anthony Goldstein hadn't returned to school, nor did Justin Finch-Fletchley, whose protective mother must have left him at home after he had told her about the war in the Wizarding World. Dean counted the members huddled in the cabin and whispered the number fifteen in Ginny's ear –  fifteen members including herself.

"Why couldn't Smith's parents leave him at home?" She muttered to Dean, watching Zacharias Smith act as if he were in that cabin merely to fulfill an unpleasant yet supreme duty.

"And look at Michael Corner," Dean said, gesturing toward Michael, who was avoiding Ginny's gaze.

"What about him?" She asked.

"Obviously he joined the DA because of you, and now he wants to leave but can't."

Ginny didn't see what he was seeing, but kept silent.

Dean silenced everyone so she could speak, and for a moment Ginny felt embarrassed and tense. But then she began to speak, and realized how natural it was for her.

"Death Eaters have taken over the castle," she began, trying to sound calm. Everyone were completely focused on her, even Smith. "We don't know what their motives are or what they're going to do to us – " A wave of shivers ran through the cabin, and even Ginny felt it. She urged herself to be brave, because she was the leader now. She had seen Harry scared only once, and that was when Dumbledore died. "We have to stay together, to have each other's backs. We don't know what's going to happen once we're outside, so we're going to up on school uniforms and try not to push when we get off the train – "

"I'll take care of it!" Said Terry Boot, who was appointed Head Boy that year. The other Perfects nodded in agreement.

"The muggle- borns will get off the train last, so if the Death Eaters came for us, they would be the safest."

Lavender tried to say something, but instead burst into tears.

"Safest from what?" Asked Hannah Abbott, who made a commendable effort to keep her composure.

"Anything could happen," Ginny said, and added quickly, "But I don't think they'll try to hurt us for no reason." She regretted her words immediately, because there were several muggle-borns in the cabin. "As long as we stay together, everything will be all right."

Lavender's sobs got stronger. Dennis Creevey seemed tempted to join her, but didn't. His brother hugged him with one arm and said, "Hey, Harry trained us well, didn't he? We'll fight back!"

Only a few were swept away by Colin's blind enthusiasm.

"Where's Potter, anyway?" Zecharia Smith inquired, and Ginny told herself that she should have known that he would be the one to raise the subject. The DA members waited for her replay intently.

"Harry went to fight You-Know-... He went to fight Voldemort." A tremor passed through the cabin at the mention of the name.

"We mustn't be afraid of his name," Luna said, and for the first time everyone heeded her sleepy voice. "Harry always said we should say his name."

Soon after that the DA left the cabin to spread the word. Ginny and Dean left were left alone.

"I'm not going to stay behind," he told her as she took her school uniform out of her trunk and put Arnold inside, so he would be safe.

"Don't be an idiot," she said, "You know what they can – "

"I know. Still, I'm no going to run away. I'll get off the train with you and face them. I won't run."

"That's stupid. I won't let you do that," Ginny said. She turned away, wanting to end the argument.

"You can't stop me. I have to protect you, Harry trusts me to."

Ginny turned sharply at these words, and Dean seemed surprised by her hot temper.

"I can take care of myself. I don't need Harry or any other man to protect me. Now get out of here, I need to get dressed."

Dean smiled strangely. "I've forgotten how bad your temper is." He winked at her and left, but Ginny knew the argument wasn't over yet.

She took off her T-shirt and torn jeans and replaced them with the conservative skirt of her school uniform and the buttoned white shirt. Before she buttoned it she remembered to take her new wand out of the box, and as it sent warm sparks of magic up her arm, she wondered where to hide it. Finally she tucked it into the front strap of her bra. The place was exactly right, because when she buttoned the loose shirt it was indistinguishable. As she bent to lace her shoes she felt it stab her stomach, and wondered what Harry would  have thought if he knew what place she had found for his gift.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Luna and the Patil twins, who entered the cabin to change. Ginny made an effort to look brave for them. Padma dressed very slowly, lingering while pulling her stockings up her long legs, as if dreading what would happen when she was finished.

Finally the train began to slow down. Ginny came out of the cabin, holding her wand, and wasn't really surprised when she discovered that all the students were filling the aisle, and that the DA members began surrounding her and asking her questions.

Dean appeared out of nowhere and helped her keep the other students away as they made their way to the nearest door. They discovered that it had been blocked by Kieth Wesley, one of the Slytherin Chasers and a Perfect in Ginny's year. His Perfect's Badge had been shinned as if specially for the occasion of standing in her way, the silver snake mocking her.

Wesley stared at her. She pointed her wand into the folds of his robe. No one noticed it in the tumult of the train aisle. She said, "You must be really pleased with yourself."

He shrugged and didn't seem bothered. "I don't know. I'm not a Death Eater. But you know what –  it's not me they're going to hurt."

"What are you trying to say?" Dean demanded coldly.

"What I'm trying to say is," Wesley began, looking down at Ginny again and gesturing toward her. He was even taller than Dean, who was older than him. "Who decided she's in charge here? She's going to get all the little mudbloods killed."

"Do you have a different plan?" Dean said incredulously.

"You can't beat them," he said. "You'd better surrender and hope they won't hurt you."

The train came to a complete halt. A sudden silence fell around. Ginny, feeling the tension in her bones increase, said, "Get out of my way, Wesley."

Wesley shrugged. "As you wish, Weasley."

He opened the door with a mocking gesture, and a sudden cold burst through all the openings on the train. The light on the platform was dim, and a thick, freezing fog was swirling in the weak rays of light. Frost had accumulated on the windows and on the door frames. Ginny felt a sense she had felt before, a feeling that it was the end, because no matter how much longer she would live, her life would have no meaning at all. She would be alone, unloved and unwanted... Her friends, Harry, her family, they would all disappear in that icy fog.

A swift arm shot through the door and managed to grab her skirt. She yelled out as she was pulled out into the cold, and the arm wrapped around her shoulders and held a wand to her neck.

"A fair plan, Weasley," a sly voice whispered in her ear, and the hot breath made her feel sick. She squirmed, trying to break free. "But not good enough. You better start walking, love – I don't enjoy spending time with the dementors more than you do."

With that he pulled the wand out of her weak hand and pushed her forward roughly.

"Come on, children! We're home!" The man shouted into the train. A biting blue light shone and the train rattled violently, as if a giant thought it was a toy. The students shouted in alarm. "Come on, out with you, brats!"

Dean was the first to stumble off the train. His wand was snatched from his hand with a wave of a wand, and he was pushed toward Ginny. She wanted to wait for him, but Death Eaters in black robes who rode on tame yet bad-tempered Hippogriffs ushered her out of the station roughly.

Dean caught up with her on the familiar road where the coaches usually waited. But today they weren't there, and Ginny and Dean realized that they had to walk to the castle while the Death Eaters were watching over them. The other students were soon behind them, and so the march began in the dark, with the Death Eaters riding around and the dementors hovering above them like birds of prey in the black sky.

"Handsome loot!" Called the Death Eater who took the wands, who was apparently the leader. "Come on, children, dinner's getting cold!"

Ginny watched him hatefully through the hair that fell over her face as he rode by her to the head of the group.

"I should've known it wouldn't work," she muttered bitterly.

"You did your best," Dean tried to cheer her up.

Ginny thought about the DA meeting in her cabin and realized someone must have been listening. She didn't tell Dean that, but she was glad that at least she didn't give away her brother and Hermione.

The walk to the castle was long and tiring. A few children were crying behind her, and occasionally a random Death Eater shouted at a student to get to his feet or to walk faster. As they climbed the stairs Ginny felt her legs could no longer carry her, but she pushed on, pulling the tired Dean behind her. She was at the head of the line, she had to set an example.

At the edge of the dark grounds, near the edge of the forest, the light coming out of Hagrid's renovated hut illuminated a grotesque sight; A large group of Death Eaters had the huge Hagrid writhing under the grip of a dozen glittering chains that were warped around him. He fought wildly while the Death Eaters tried to control him with curses that didn't seem to affect him. His furious crys and cursing rolled over the grounds and hit Ginny, making her shiver with uncontrollable fear. The thought that even Hagrid wasn't safe from the Death Eaters made her feel desperate.

"Where do you think they're taking him?" Dean asked quietly beside her, panting. Ginny did not answer.

She couldn't believe how bad things had gotten in the past month. First the Ministry of Magic was seized, then Harry left, then the Death Eaters raided their home, and now that. She didn't know how things could get any worse, but she  had the feeling that they would get worse very soon.

The dark mark was still shining over the castle, very close to them now. All the lights in the castle were off except in the Great Hall. They were led into the dim Entrance Hall, where the few first years who arrived that year were separated from the rest of the students and taken to the traditional side room. Ginny relaxed a little when she saw McGonagall waiting in the room. She stood as upright and authoritative as ever, with Death Eater standing beside her. She didn't look at Ginny, but she still felt very comforted by her presence.

The rest of the students were led into the Great Hall. The four housed decorations were replaced by black flags with the symbol of the green skull and the sank. At the faculty table the teachers were waiting for them. They weren't chatting politely as ever, just sitting upright, alert and threatened.

Most of the teachers were familiar to Ginny, except for three, who must have been Death Eaters. She felt her ears get hot under her damp hair as she saw Snape sitting in the Headmaster's golden chair. His greasy hair was combed and he was wearing an excellent black robe, decorated with silver buckles. He looked down at the hall with a look of supremacy, his hands folded on the table.

The students sat down at the house tables in a deathly silence and waited for a while. No one dared utter a word. Neville, who was sitting on the bench opposite to Ginny, stared at his knees with his arms propped on the table, shielding his head. The Patil twins and Lavender held each other. Seamus' knee jumped at a fanatic pace. Ginny thought that maybe Dean tried to take her hand but regretted it at the last minute.

The first years walked into the Hall. They seemed even more frightened than usual. McGonagall led them, and Ginny felt another wave of relief sweeping over her for a moment at the sight of the strong woman, who was pale and even more serious then usual, her graying hair as neat as ever and her appearance dignified. She put the old Sorting Hat on the stool in front of the hall. The rift that had served as it's mouth opened more quickly than ever, as if it were excited to speak it's mind:

 

_"Once there were better days_

_But these were taken without delay;_

_Slytherin's Heir_ _exceeds_ _his father's legacy_

_So listen now, let there be no fallacy!_

__  
  
A rift has tore Slytherin from his peers

_He left them to wander the earth for years_

_To this day their dispute is a hassle;_

_It knocks on the very gates of our castle._

_  
Now the houses must unite,_

_Do not fear or spite!_

_Each to his neighbor must be a friend_

_If the sorrow is to come to an end._

_  
Ravenclaw gathered sages to her breast_

_Thread wisely, do your best!_

_Gryffindor loved the brave and bold_

_Gather courage, and he your heart shall hold!_

_  
Slytherin wanted the ambitious to the last,_

_Those who looked ahead, but did not forget the past;_

_Consider your steps without dread,_

_And he too will lend you a hand._

_  
Yet Hufflepuff was the wisest,_

_Her foresight and courage made her the brightest,_

_For she would take each as he was_

_And that is the indeed the noblest cause._

_  
With the strength of the four founders_

_Your fathers and your mothers –_

_Brothers and sisters, unite_

_And your light shall keep back the night!"_

 

 


	4. In The Court of The Queen Of Hearts

_"'The Queen! The Queen!'_

_The three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen."_

 

There was silence in the Hall at the end of the Sorting Hat's song. No one applauded.

At the staff table Snape's black eyes were shinning in the light of the floating candles. Ginny felt a glimmer of hope flicker in her heavy heart, and the first year students seemed much more encouraged when they walked up, one by one, to be sorted.

At the end of the very quiet sorting Snape got to his feet. Teachers and students alike looked at him with distaste. He must have noticed it, because he pulled out his wand and waved it over the Hall. Everyone felt a hidden force that suddenly pulled them to their feet, as if they were dolls and Snape the puppeteer.

"When the Headmaster walks into the room," Snape said in a quiet, dangerous voice that could be heard clearly in the Hall, "Or if he wishes to speak, I expect everyone to standing. Understood?"

No one replied, not even with a nod. He then allowed them to sit back down.

"As we all know," Snape began in a louder voice, "Headmaster Dumbledore met an unfortunate fate at the end of last year. From now on I shall replace him, until further notice."

He paused, as if expecting resistance. But when the silence remained without interference, only the crackling of the candles heard, he continued, "In the school under my management a few changes will be made. First of all – the Quidditch teams are canceled, and all the other groups and clubs as well. Moreover, curfew will start at eight every evening, for all students. From this day on there will be no more Perfects and Head Boys and Girls – it's time someone put an end to this ufair and discriminating system. No points will be given, and there won't be a House Cup – students should work hard and behave for their own good, not for the glory of their house. The Owlery is now forbidden for students, and all personal owls will be confiscated. In addition, Herbology classes will now take place inside the castle, in a special classroom built for this purpose on the ground floor. Students are prohibited to leave the castle. Many dangers lurk outside these walls.

"This year, the school staff decided to cancel classes that were found to be unimportant. These would be Care of Magical Creatures and Divination – two professions that are a complete waste of time, which could be used to learn more important things. Some of you will be glad to hear the Rubeus Hagrid has been returned to his rightful place – the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

Vicious giggles came from the Death Eaters that stood around the Hall, and from a few Slytherins who were feeling comfortable in the grim situation.

"Altought Divination has been found to be no longer needed, dear Professor Trelawney will remain in our castle this year as our special guest." Snape gestured toward Trelawnry, who sat at the staff table, so tense she looked like she was about to burst, fiddling with her many jewels. Professor McGonagall touched her hand, trying to calm her.

Snape continued, "We will welcome three new teachers this year. The first will replace dear Professor Burbage of Muggle Studies, who decided to take a sabbatical year... Professor Alecto Carrow."

A stocky woman with shaggy brown hair stood up and bowed to the Hall mockingly. Her eyes and face were sunken and one of her front teeth was missing.

"The other is our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Caro's brother – please welcome Professor Amycus Carrow."

Professor Carrow's brother was the exact opposite of her; He was tall and very thin, his skin and hair grey and wax-like. His smile was sly and cruel, showing his rotten teeth.

"Lastly is our new History of Magic Professor. The staff has decided that it was time to refresh the History of Magic outdated curriculum and bring in a new teacher, one more... Full of life. Professor Rabastan Lestrange."

Unlike his two colleagues, who were clearly marked by the horrors of Azkaban, Rabstan Lestrange was remarkably handsome even after his life in the wizarding prison. His dark brown hair was neatly cut and his face, though slightly sunken, was tanned and clean-shaven. He was wearing an excellent ceremonial robe of eminent green silk that fit his wide shoulders and chest. He scanned the hall with a mocking look, his smile handsome and dangerous. Ginny knew at once that it was the Death Eater that had garbed her on the platform and jerked her as if she were a doll.

"Now that we are all acquainted," Snape continued tonelessly, "We can start the feast. I'm sure you'll behave accordingly, and we would not have to introduce you to our other friends who will be staying in the castle from now on. Do not worry – only those who would cause trouble would be punished. Let us eat."

The meal appeared on the tables, but no one seemed to have much appetite. Ginny didn't know if it was because her mood was affecting her taste, but the food tasted stale and was partly burned. She felt sick when she thought about how Hogwarts would be like from now on.

Mostly she was thinking about the Sorting Hat's song, as though her mind wanted to ease her feelings by avoiding the painful reality. The Sorting Hat said that the houses had to unite to defeat the Death Eaters and Voldemort. That meant working with the Slytherins too, and Ginny wasn't sure whether she could – or wanted – to do that. Glancing at the Slytherin table, she realized that that most of the students there were also quiet and stressed, but some of them talked freely and even laughed. She saw Pansy Parkinson examining her hair in a pocket mirror, and Crabbe and Goyle devouring the feast with great appetite. Blaise Zabini was chatting easily with Wesley a few chairs away.

"You should eat," Dean told her, interrupting her train of thought.

"Yeah," Neville added immediately.

Ginny pushed her plate away from her with a lack of appetite. "I can't eat now."

At the end of the feast (most of which wasn't touched) Snape got up again. He scanned the Hall with intent eyes, and some of the students got to their feet quickly. The others hurried to do the same with a booming noise of dragging chairs.

Snape smiled smugly. "Tomorrow we'll start our classes," he said. "A few changes have been introduced into the curriculum and classes. Tomorrow you shall see – I won't spoil the excitement of the first day of school. To bed with you."

The Gryffindors made their way to the tower as a single group, like frightened sheep, the black robed wizards in the Entrance Hall watching them like the shepherd dogs, calculating and ready to bite.

When the first Gryffindor arrived at the portrait of the fat woman she opened the passage without anyone saying the password.

"Come on in, children," she told them as they passed behind her. Ginny had never heard her speak so softly. To a crying first year student she said, "Don't worry, dear, I won't let anyone in..."

The common room was as warm and pleasant as ever, but there was an unmistakable chill in the air. No one went up to the rooms; Everyone crowded on the sofas and carpets in silence, still not fully comprehending what had happened that evening. They couldn't internalize their new fate. Godric Gryffindor's portrait looked at them with pity, like all the other portraits in the castle, but said nothing. Soon Nearly- Headless- Nick came through one of the walls, but his sense of humor and storytelling didn't help to encourage anyone, so he just floated in silence over the students.

Ginny, who was sitting on one of the tables, scanned the room as if looking for an escape path. She felt a burning need to act, to speak – to do anything at all – but she couldn't take the chance that someone was listening.

She puffed heavily. "I wish we could know if they were listening to us..."

Neville, who was leaning against the mantelpiece, suddenly looked up. "They can't," he said, "Hogwarts disables any spell or magical eavesdropping device."

"How in Merlin's pants do you know that?" Seamus, who was lying on the floor in despair, raised his head and asked.

Neville blushed. "Hogwarts: A History."

"I can't believe you've read that," Seamus said, teasing but looking impressed.

"Well, someone has to be a talking library now that Hermione's not here," Dean said, and Neville blushed even more. His face became firmer during the summer – more masculine – but they were still freckled, and his hair still curly and soft as a baby's.

Changing to subject, he told Ginny, "You can talk freely, they can't listen."

Looking at the common room, Ginny realized that talking to all of these students would be different from talking to the DA. In the DA every one knew each other, and most of them were her friends. On the other hand, she didn't know all of the Gryffindors personally, and there were many that she didn't like at all. Many of them didn't like her either since she turned her back to her old friends the year before.

She felt her skin getting very hot suddenly, so she took off her black robe. She paused for a moment, pondering what she should say, and finally stood up on the table. Dean helped her to get everyone's attention. The students quickly focused on her, hoping that something would distract them from what was going on.

"Well, you heard what Snape said," Ginny began without any unnecessary opening words, mostly because she wasn't actually sure what she was doing. "Things are going to change now – and for the worse."

A second year student burst into tears. A few hostile looks were sent at Ginny. She pleaded with herself not to look apologetic.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. The Death Eaters aren't going to be nice to us. We have to stand up to them – "

"Like we did last time?" A snobby voice rose. Romilda Vane was sitting at the center of a group of her closest friends on one of the best couches. "Your old plan just made things worse, why would it work now?"

"Because now the Death Eaters aren't listening to us, unlike they did on the train," Ginny said, determined not to let Romilda step on her almost as she was determined to lead her classmates to victory over the Death Eaters. "Neville's read Hogwarts: A History, and he says it's impossible to use eavesdropping spells in the castle."

Romilda raised one perfect eyebrow. "And who said you were in charge here?"

Ginny felt her anger rising.

"Who are you suggesting, then?" Dean asked, cool and businesslike. "Yourself?"

Romilda made a very ugly face. " _No_ , but there must be someone else who's better for the job. The fact that she's Harry Potter's girlfriend – "

"I'm not Harry's girlfriend!"

Romilda smiled sardonically. "Well, I really was wondering when he'd dump you already."

Ginny's face turned so red it almost reached the color of her hair. She opened her mouth to shout at Vane, but a squeaky third-year student preceded her by saying in a shaky but strong voice, "Enough! you heard the Sorting Hat – we should be united, not fight each other!"

"The little girl's right," Seamus said, getting up from the floor. "It doesn't matter who's the leader – we have to decide what to do about these Death Eaters."

"What's there to do?" Said one desperate student.

Everyone looked at Ginny. She folded her arms across her chest. "Well, for starts, we need to be strong mentally. The Death Eaters who've been made teachers will certainly try to brainwash us, like Umbridge did – so we mustn't listen to them, no matter what."

Colin raised his hand enthusiastically. Ginny told him, "You don't have to raise your hand, Colin, just talk."

"I suggest we meet here every night and talk about how the Death Eaters are wrong and evil. That way we can be sure no one's giving in."

"Great idea, Colin," Ginny said, "We could share what we've been through during the day and no one will feel alone."

"But what about homework?" Asked a fifth- year student, "We have our O.W.L's this year – "

"Frankly, homework is our last concern at the moment," Ginny said, "We'll be lucky if we learn anything at all this year."

At that moment the portrait hole opened. Everyone fell silent and looked on nervously. It was Professor McGonagall, looking as though the long pretense at dinner had exhausted her completely.

Her entry was different from any other time she had entered the common room; She usually came to make an announcement or scold them for making noise, but this time she looked like an old woman returning home. She sat down heavily on the sofa between two young girls and petted one of them, whose eyes were red with tears, gently on the head.

"Get off the table please, Miss Weasley," she said wearily, yet she couldn't have been questioned. Ginny did as she said. "Are there any news from Mister Potter?"

Ginny felt herself blushing again. Her voice was close to a growl when she said, "I'm not in touch with him, Professor."

"Excellent. Maybe the Death Eaters won't bother you so much," said McGonagall and sighed. She looked very tired; Her eyelids were heavy and her eyes red. "You should all go to sleep, now. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."


	5. We're All Mad Here

_"'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked._

_'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'"_

 

Ginny woke up long before all the girls in her dorm. She had trouble falling asleep the night before, turning over in bed and burying her head in the bedclothes, terrible futuristic visions and vain hopes darting in her head.

When she woke up her eyes burned with fatigue. She lay in her bed for a moment, wondering why she was feeling so terrible, and immediately remembered the events of the day before, these came back to her like dark visions from a nightmare.

She blinked at the ceiling. Maybe it was all just a dream? Maybe the Death Eaters didn't really take over Hogwarts?

She couldn't fool herself for long.

She washed and dressed tiredly. She put her new wand, which she had hidden under her pillow at night, back in it's hiding place. She just finished tucking it under her shirt when Betty Ogden, once one of her best friends and her social successor, sat up in her bed, stretching.

She didn't say a word to her, nor did the other girls. Ginny tied her tie, put on her shoes, and left before they could annoy her with conversations about fashion, makeup, or boys. She had endured these conversations for five years, and even pretended to understand them, even though as a girl who had grown up with six older brothers she hadn't even a faint idea about these girly matters before then. If she would have heard them talk about these things that day, which was expected to be the worst of many bad days to come, she wouldn't be able to hide her contempt for them.

She found all the seventh year's sitting in the common room, waiting for her.

"Took your sweet time," Seamus said to her.

"You didn't have to wait for me," Ginny said, confused by the situation. Lavender and Parvati were holding hands and making an effort to smile at her, and the small gesture warmed her heart and lifted her spirit.

"And let the others devour you? Never," said Dean, rising and stretching. His skin, which was usually chocolate colored, became pale a sickly during the night, and he looked almost as tired as Ginny felt. His dark eyes were very troubled, and Ginny knew why. "Ready to go down?"

Seamus led the way to the Great Hall, Parvati and Lavender behind him, and Ginny walked in the rear, Dean and Neville on either side for her, as if they were shielding her. She noticed that Dean sometimes leaned in too close to her, and that Neville was giving her odd and nervous looks from the corner of his eye. She didn't say anything about it.

Students made their way to the Great Hall in groups. The corridors were quiet, and even the portraits and the suits of armor looked strained under the watchful eyes of the Death Eaters.

The ceiling in the Great Hall was gray and gloomy, and the atmosphere was accordingly bleak. Ginny sat down between Neville and Dean and poured herself some juice because she knew she had to eat so she could face the first day of New Hogwarts.

They were soon joined by Parvati's twin sister. She and her sister were overly interested in Ginny and talked to her in a sweet tone, as if she were a little girl who couldn't quite understand them. After a few minutes in which they seemed to be studying every movement she made, she threw down her fork and demanded, "What are you getting at?"

Before they could say anything it their defense Professor McGonagall passed by, handing out the class schedules. Today she was also less formal, passing each student and asking how they were coping. At the Hufflepuff table Professor Sprout was consulting a troubled student, and at the Ravenclaw table Professor Flitwick made some silverware hover to make a group of frightened first-year's laugh.

"Good morning, Professor," Seamus said with a mouth filled with sausages, grabbing a set of seventh- year schedules.

"Good morning, Mr. Finnigan. As cheerful as ever, I see," McGonagall said with a rare smile and walked away.

Ginny took a sixth-year schedule and studied it. Her first class today was a double History of Magic, followed by double Charms, and double Herbology.

"How's the schedule?" Dean asked, peering at her schedule over her shoulder. She could feel his breath on her cheek.

"Not too bad. I have a double lesson with Lestrange now, though," she replied in a hushed voice, as if she didn't want to scare the moment away. "I wonder how he's going to be like."

"We have a lesson with him tomorrow," said Neville, but she wasn't listening to him.

"Are you going to be alright?" Dean asked her.

"Of course I'll be alright," Ginny said with a bitter smile, turning her face to him. That sense of closeness between them was familiar to her, comforting and pleasant. She tried to ignore the  images of Harry that flickered in the back of her mind. "But... Thanks for worrying about me."

The Patil twins and Lavender watched them with interest over their glasses and cutlery. Neville took a long swing from his goblet and suddenly said, much more loudly than necessary, "No mail today."

"Snape said there won't be any owls," Lavender said. The twins looked very disappointed. "That means there's no Witch Weekly!"

"It means there's no more contact with the outside world..." Neville murmured bitterly.

Suddenly the doors of the Hall opened and Snape walked in, accompanied by his three Death Eaters Professors. All the students. Snape didn't even glance at them, walking rhythmically toward the staff's table. Only when he and the teachers settled down with the other teachers, who were also standing and trying to avoid their gazes, did they all sit down again.

"Arse..." Seamus murmured into his napkin.

"More toast, Ginny?" Neville offered hopefully.

Ginny refused politely. The disintegration of her strange moment with Dean and the understanding of how much she needed closeness and warmth had left her confused.

In an attempt to restore the moment, she leaned toward him and whispered, "We have to get you out of here, and the other muggle- borns, too."

Dean shook his head. "I have to stay. We need to have as many DA members here as possible –"  
Ginny narrowed her eyes. "I don't remember you being so stubborn."

Dean smiled bitterly. "I must've got it from you."

Ginny wasn't going to leave Dean alone on that matter, though, and she was already making plans on how to help all the muggle- borns at Hogwarts escape to safety before the Ministry laid it's hands on them.

Finally it was time to get to class. Only when the rest headed toward the dungeons, Ginny remembered that she wasn't in their year. They waved to her (Neville a little too much), and she turned toward the History of Magic classroom with a heavy heart. Behind her she could hear Betty and the other girls from Gryffindor chattering quietly with some girls from Ravenclaw, so she quickened her pace. She wasn't worried that they would talk to her, but something in her felt shamed, and she didn't want to be looked at.

Behind the corner of the History of Magic corridor stood a bored Death Eater on duty. He wasn't wearing a mask, and he smiled mockingly as Ginny walked by.

"How's it going, Weasley?"

She had a feeling it was the Death Eater who had pinned her to the wall at the Burrow a few weeks earlier. She looked away from him and walked on briskly. When she was all alone she was tempted to cry, but she stopped herself. She remembered Charlie's words – she had to be strong now, more than ever before. The thought about how bad Harry's life at school got sometimes encouraged her a bit; If he could cope with alienation and ridicule and not collapse in public, surely she could too.

History of Magic classroom was open, but the Professor hadn't arrived yet. She was glad to find Luna sitting like a statue in the last row, looking more earthly than ever. She didn't wear her bottle- cap necklace that day, and the wand was missing from behind her ear. Ginny sat down next to her and she wrapped her in her arms before she could say anything.

"Ginny," she choked, "I'm so scared ..."

Ginny hugged her back, and again felt a strong desire to weep.

"It's all right, Luna," she said softly, "We'll stay together and everything will be all right, like the Sorting Hat said."

Luna nodded against her shoulder but said nothing. She didn't cry or tremble – she was steady as a statue, stared deeper into space than ever while leaning on her friend's shoulder. For some reason, Ginny didn't expect her to react that way, and it frightened her a bit. Maybe they were really at the end of the line?

When the bell rang Professor Lestrange came in, slamming the door behind him. As he passed between the students' desks, which turned silent at once, he waved his wand and everyone were drawn to their feet, as Snape had done the evening before.

"When I enter the classroom, I will expect my students to respect me by standing up," Lestrange said, and Ginny immediately matched his voice with the voice of the Death Eater that held her on the platform. Even when he faced the class and scanned it with his eyes, it seemed to her that they were resting on her longer than on the others. "You may sit down. As you know, I'm Professor Lestrange, and I will replace Professor Binns as the History of Magic teacher. I promise you we'll have a grand time together. First of all, put your silly books back in your bags. History books were written by the victors – that it our first lesson."

Lestrange directed his wand to the board lazily and the title _'Muggle Intervention in the Life of Wizards Through the Ages'_ appeared on it.

"Who can tell me when was the first time muggles had interfered in with the life of wizards?"

No one raised their hand or spoke. In the silence, Lestrange's deep voice rang among the stone walls, "No one? Well, I'm convinced you can do better than that. You, boy in the front row – what do you think?"

Luna's classmate seemed alarmed that he had been spoken to. He inhales hard and hesitated for a moment, before finally blurting out, "Uh... The Witch Hunt in the thirteenth century, sir?"

"No," Lestrange said immediately, his voice making the student shake. "Anyone else? Maybe Miss Weasley could tell us?"

Ginny felt the weight of everyone's gazes on her. She had a feeling, from the moment he entered the classroom, that he would come after her. Swallowing, she reminded herself that she had a wand, and in the worst case she could kill Lestrange and escape to the forest... And there she would die of cold and hunger.

"I don't know, sir."

Strange made a sharp gesture. For a moment Ginny was sure he was about to curse her, but he just held up his hands in the air as if he were letting her go. "It's alright not to know something in my classes – after all, we're here to learn. But during our lessons you'll come to understand what things I appreciate when I hear in my class, and what... Not.

"Now, the muggle's first intervention in the life of wizards was in the year 1271 of the muggle calendar, about two hundred years after the end of King Arthur's reign. As you know, dear King Arthur came into alliance with the wizards on our island at his time, but after his death, his Christian successors saw magic as evil, and so they began to hunt us down. The first wizard hunt recorded in history was in the famous Stonehenge, where the Wizards High Council sat. The muggles attacked the Council and shed much blood. The seat of the Council was attacked again, a few hundred years later..."

It was clear to Ginny why the next attack took place only a few hundred years later; Every magical child knew the story of the wizard Alphard Longdman (later nicknamed "The King Roaster"), whose many family members were murdered in that first attack, went on a bloody vendetta and killed five muggles – women, children, old men, warriors and even the king himself – for every wizard who was hurt in the attack.

But she didn't mention it to Lestrange while he kept spinning tales about the wickedness of muggles. She got the new teacher's hint – she would have to keep her opinions to herself. A cruel spark glinted in Lestrange's dark eyes, and she didn't want to see in from close up.


	6. A Long Fall

_"... Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well."_

 

Ginny walked wearily out of Transfiguration classroom on the first Tuesday of October. She immediately noticed Seamus and Dean dragging Neville down the hall, their classmates looking after them  anxiously as they left Carrow's Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. A pair of bored Death Eaters were laughing while Neville was dragged on the floor by their feet, and one of them kicked him. He didn't respond. Ginny realized that his face was covered with a strange membrane and that he was motionless.

Dean and Seamus stopped at a safe distance from them. Ginny ran to them, kneeling next to Neville, who was lying motionless on the floor like a faceless doll.

"What happened to him?"

Dean began pulling at the membrane on Neville's face, and he began to squirm and claw at his own face. Finally the membrane was torn with a nasty sound, revealing Neville's wet face, that turned purple from the lack of oxygen. He stopped squirming and gripped his throat as he gasped.

"That's a lesson for you, Longbottom!" Professor Carrow was standing at the entrance to his classroom, a nasty smile on his wax-like face. The students who left his class hurried away, casting Neville pitting or disgusted looks as they passed him. The Death Eaters walked away, losing interest.

Professor Carrow slammed the classroom door behind him. Professor McGonagall emerged from the Transfiguration classroom.

"Good thinking, Mr. Thomas," she said to Dean, glancing at Neville with concern. "That is a merciless curse..."

"I noticed that Carrow cast a very simple spell when he removed the curse from Terry Boot," Dean explained, "So I figured the membrane could probably be torn, if you'd try hard enough."

"It was an good call, Dean," Ginny said appreciatively.

Neville coughed and rose to his elbows. "Yeah... Thanks, Dean."

"Don't tell me you've causing trouble on purpose again, Longbottam," Professor McGonagall said with a mix of pity and reproach.

"That's exactly what I'm doing, Professor. I'm not going to give in to them."

Professor McGonagall sighed and went back to her class, shaking her head. Ginny caught her murmuring, "Poor children..."

"That's what Harry would've done," Neville said firmly after she left. "Remember how he always stood up to Umbridge and Snape? It always gave everyone hope..."

And especially to Neville, Ginny thought.

"You're absolutely right, Neville," Seamus said, sitting on the floor with his back to the wall, not paying attention to the students passing through the corridor. Many stared at the four sitting on the floor, others preferred to act as if they didn't exist. "But hey, let us take some of these nasty curses next time, aye? If you keep going like that, there won't be much left of you."

Dean moved to sit next to Ginny under a painting of an old wizard taking his afternoon nap. "How were your classes today?" He asked her, leaning his head against the stone wall.

"Herbology was interesting," Ginny said, showing him a tube with red and purple sprouts that was hidden inside her bag, while making sure no one was looking at them. "Professor Sprout slipped them into the bags of some students with notes."

"What does it do?"

"It's an antidote to side effects of strong curses. She knows how _they_ treat us in class..."

The month that passed since the beginning of the semester had felt like a year. Nothing could be normal with the Death Eaters walking the corridors and supervising lessons. Ginny felt like a lost calf in a herd of frightened sheep; The constant feeling of being watched had  become part of their lives, and the sense of helplessness became a dull bubble that enveloped all the submissive students. Ginny knew it was only a matter of time before the guards would get bored and decide to preoccupy themselves with hassling the students outside the classrooms.

This very thought flew out of her head when a curse hit the wall near her ear and she ducked in panic. The old man in the painting awoke in confusion. "Cider?.."

"What you doin' sitting there? Bugger off!" A Death Eater yelled from the other side of the corridor. The four of them got up and joined the crowd of students making their way to the Great Hall.

"We've got to do something," Neville stated, clenching his fists and frowning.

"You say that all the time," said Seamus with a slight eye- roll. "What – in the name of Merlin – do you suggest we do?"

Neville flushed. "I don't know, but we can't just sit idly by... You agree with me, Ginny, don't you?"

Ginny opened her mouth to answer him when an unpleasant sensation that someone was staring at her struck her. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a group of Slytherins elbowing their way through the crowd, but they didn't seem to be paying attention to her. Unable to shake the feeling of being watched closly, she scanned the crowd. Her gaze locked with a pair of icy eyes. A Slytherin boy whose name she didn't know looked away quickly and disappear into the crowd.

"What are you looking at?" Ginny realized that Neville was still talking to her. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, uh... I thought I saw something..." She tried to shake the piercing stare of those eyes. "So what do you think we should do, Neville?"

Neville looked embarrassed as they entered the Great Hall and made their way to the Gryffindor table. At the Ravenclaw table Luna was playing with her food sadly; Since Snape ruled that students weren't allowed to sit at other house tables during meals she was lonelier than ever. Ginny caught her eye and waved encouragingly. Luna burst out smiling and waved back, almost sticking her fork into the nose of the boy sitting next to her. Ginny watched her as she apologized with remorse.

"I don't know... Maybe we could call a DA meeting?" Neville said in a whisper.

"You heard Snape," Dean said as they took their places alongside Lavender and Parvati. Parvati was helping Lavender, whom was still under the influence of the Jelly curse that had hit her during DADA, eat without dropping her fork. "If they catch us we'll be toast, even if we could get them to believe that we're part of the Gobstones Club – "

"We couldn't do anything if we accepted their rules," Neville exploded without warning. A few students turned to look at him.

"Calm down, Neville. What gotten into you?" Seamus said in a hushed voice, making sure no one was listening. Parvati and Lavender looked at them apprehensively.

"Yeah, what's your problem?" Dean said, giving Neville a mean look.

"Stop fighting," Ginny demanded in a hushed voice. "Neville, Dean is right. We can't take the risk of breaking the rules if we don't have a plan."

"I think we have to give everyone their wanders back," said Neville firmly, his face still red.

"Another great plan by Neville Longbottom," Dean said with a deep contempt that shocked Ginny.

"Dean," she scolded. He looked gave her an innocent look. "Stop acting like gits – both of you – and start thinking straight."

Seamus shrugged. Neville loaded his plate with food and proceeded to abuse it. Dean pretended to be interested in the white clouds that floated in the sky, covering the sun.

"I've heard that Professor Lestrange keeps all of the students' wands in a box in his office."

All of them glanced at Parvati in surprise.

"How do you know that?" Seamus asked suspiciously.

"A boy from my sister's house told her he saw it when he was in detention in his office a few days ago," Parvati said with a shrug.

Finally these girls' gossip is worth something, Ginny thought – and then that thought was shunted by a dozen ideas how to break into Lestrange's office.

Seamus made a sour face. "But to get to the wands we need a wand."

"Who said we didn't have one?" Ginny said smugly.

"You're trying to say that – "

"Yeah. But don't say it out loud."

Everyone smiled at each other, even Neville, though he still looked a bit nervous.

At the staff table, Rabastan Lestrange sat comfortably with his leg on the arm of the chair, watching them as he gnawed on a chicken bone. Ginny met his gaze for a moment and looked away quickly. She could feel him smiling.

*

None of the girls in Ginny's room cared when on the second day of school she took her things and moved to the seventh year boys' dorm. There were two empty beds there, and she didn't intend to suffer the tense glances and silences in her room if she had any other choice. Anyway, she hadn't felt like one of them in a long time – especially that year.

She chose to sleep in Harry's bed. At first she wasn't even aware of it. The first night she had dreamt that Harry woke her up in the middle of the night to remind her that they had set out to practice Quidditch. In her dream they tried to find the way out of the sealed castle together, and she had a strong feeling that for she was supposed to be angry with him for some reason. When she awoke in the morning she suddenly remembered a very different summer morning in which she woke up in that bed, a mane of black hair resting on her shoulder.

Perhaps something in her wanted to feel close to Harry and to her memories of him, but whatever that thing was she pushed it away and told herself that she had chosen that particular bed because if she had looked past the head of the bed at night she could see Dean's black curls resting on the white pillow, and the shape of his body under the sheets that covered him softly.

Watching him asleep, she sometimes felt remorse for breaking up with him. The irony was that the stupidity of the fights that had caused them to break up was what had made her cry, and not him.

"I know I'm handsome, but I think you'd better concentrate on your homework right now," Dean said with a laugh as he caught her watching him lying motionless in his bed, flashing her a white smile.

Ginny smiled and shrugged. "Can you blame me?"

"I guess not," said Dean, rising from his bed just to fall on the bed beside her. He grabbed the book she was reading from her hands and threw it across the bed.

"I thought you said I should concentrate," Ginny said with a touch of seduction that she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to show him.

"You deserve a break," Dean said, looking into her eyes. She knew that look, the look that pleaded to be kissed. She knew all of his tricks. She moved a little closer to him and he initiated the rest, reaching out and pressing the texture of his familiar lips to hers.

Neville, who was sitting on his bed, let out a strange cough. Dean gave him a vicious look. He pulled the bed curtains over them with a sharp movement before returning to kiss her with enthusiasm. After a few seconds heavy footsteps thundered through the room and the door slammed angrily.

No matter how hard she tried, Ginny couldn't even for a moment feel as if they were still together, in normal, free Hogwarts, and that everything was all right. Harry invaded her mind like an epidemic. While Dean was making a considerable effort to show her everything he knew, she wasn't able to stop wondering where Harry was, what he was doing, who he was with. Was he fighting Death Eaters? Was he also with someone else? Does he think about her sometimes?

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, a little out of breath, when he realized she wasn't concentrated.

She shook her head and took off his shirt, exposing his dark chest and stomach. It seemed to make him forget everything else, and to complete the illusion that she was concentrated only in him, she lay him back and kissed him passionately. He tried to imply that he wanted to touch her breast, and she didn't object. She had never reached that point with him, but it didn't excite her at all. She wasn't even sure why she was doing it.

Dean found the wand she had hidden in her bra and looked confused. Ginny took it out and showed it to him.

"Good job," she muttered, out of breath. She than began unbuttoning her blouse. Dean watched, fascinated, when suddenly the bathroom door opened and Seamus' voice was heard; "Ready to go, mate?... Dean?"

Dean sighed in deep disappointment, putting a hand on his flushed face. Ginny felt almost relieved.

"We'll pick it up later?" He said hopefully.

"Sure," she blurted out.

Dean put on his shirt and stepped out of the bed curtains. Ginny lay down on the bed and blew on the hairs that fell on her face.

She heard Seamus's cheerful voice, "Want to tell me something, mate?"

Dean punched him. "Shut up," he said seriously. "Come on, we have to check around Lestrange's office before curfew starts."

Ginny waited for the door to close behind them and then let out a heavy sigh. She felt a sense of disgust and a strong desire to shower and take Dean's taste out of her mouth.

After a few minutes she heard someone come into the room. She recognized Neville's quiet, trailing steps. She heard him pull the curtains around his bed, and then nothing but silence from him.

Dean and Seamus returned after half an hour, and she pretended to be asleep. She felt Dean move the curtains and look at her for a moment before he went to his own bed.

 


	7. Six Impossible Things

_“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”_

The tension between Ginny, Dean, and Neville the next day was unbearable. Ginny felt like jumping out of the Astronomy Tower when Dean sat down next to her at breakfast the day after their snog and kissed her shamelessly.

Seamus almost choked on his toast and Parvati and Lavender looked shocked and satisfied at the same time. Neville wiped his mouth firmly with his napkin and left, but none of his friends seemed to notice.

Ginny pushed Dean away and stared at him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm – "

"Don't do it here." _Or anywhere else._ Ginny looked down and pretended to be busy with her food.

Dean looked at her in disbelief, humiliated and angry. "What's wrong with you?"

"It's not the time for this. Everyone's looking – "

"I see," Dean murmured in a low voice, taking his back pack. "You have a reputation to uphold. You can't go down the ladder after you got Harry Potter."

He, too, left the Hall furiously. Ginny buried her face in her hands to avoid the staring looks, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her. Seamus cleared his throat and made a poor but well-meaning effort to start a normal conversation.

The rest of the day wasn't any better. The rumor that Dean had kissed Ginny at breakfast had spread quickly, and by the time she reached Potions with Slughorn, half her classmates were staring at her. She knew exactly what they were thinking – that she was a crazy nymphomaniac who had to be constantly attached to some man, and that she would take every opportunity to steal the limelight.

She decided to stay behind at the end of the class to spare herself the gossiping whispers of the other Gryffindor girls, pretending to arrange her potions ingridients.

"Miss Weasley," Slughorn called to her when he noticed that she was the last one left in the classroom. He staggered toward her, and Ginny had a feeling that he was looking for every possible excuse not to be left alone with the Death Eater that was dozing in the corner. "I'm sorry we hadn't had a chance to talk since the beginning of the year. You see, I'm not allowed to hold any more Slugclub gatherings... How was your summer, then?"

Ginny wondered whether Slughorn was an idiot or just pretending to be. "It was... Fine."

"I'm glad to hear, very glad."

It seemed that the month that the Potions Professor had spent by under the Death Eaters' rule had made him get even fatter, and his were heavy and unfocused than ever. He was rocking on the heels of his shinning shoes as he chatted with her.

"I've heard that your older brother got married. I am sure that the event brought your family great joy..."

"Actually – " Ginny began, but decided that she didn't want to talk about it, especially not with Slughorn. She knew it was only a matter of time before he started asking about Harry. "Yeah, it was great. I have to go, Professor, I'll be late for my next class..."

"Of course, of course," Slughorn said, looking quite disappointed. "Have a good day, Miss Weasley..."

She was late for Defense Against the Dark Arts, which earned her a stinging curse as she entered the classroom. It seemed that Carrow had his eye one her that day, because later he had volunteered her to demonstrate a number of violent curses for the enjoyment and pleasure of the Death Eaters who where supervising the lesson. So when she crawled into History of Magic classroom, Ginny didn't know how her day could get any worse.

She sank into the chair next to Luna and buried her face in her bag with a moan.

"You look pale, Ginny," Luna said with touching concern.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Ginny explained heavily.

"Here, eat this," Luna said, taking a bag full of cubes made of what looked like shredded yellow leaves from her bag. "Atlas extract. I conserved them myself during the summer. It'll make you feel better."

Ginny allowed Luna to put one tablet in her mouth. It was very sweet, and dissolved in her mouth quickly. A fresh smell filled her nose, and she felt a little lighter.

"Thanks, Luna."

"Any time," Luna said happily. "I've been growing them all summer, you know. Father brought them from Eastern Europe. They say that eating a pinch of leaves is enough to sharpen your senses, if you cook them right. I think I managed to – "

Lestrange entered the classroom with a smug gesture, and all the students fell silent and stood up abruptly. He motioned them to sit distractedly and began the lesson immediately.

"I'm delighted to tell all of you that we are right on schedule for this semester," Lestrange said, leaning against his desk gracefully. "In our last lesson we finished the introduction for True Wizard's History, and today, to make sure your little ears are tuned during my classes, we'll have a little quiz."

With a wave of his wand a piece of parchment appeared in front of each student.

"Take out your quills and begin to write down the timeline of the wizards' history. I expect an explanation about each significant event we have learned about. Began."

Everyone leaned over their parchments, determined not to give Lestrange a reason to punish them. Of the three Death Eaters Professors Lestrange must have been the most civilized during his classes, but rumors of his detentions for those who crossed him spread like a plague in the school. Students would return to their common rooms at night from the detentions in his office with pale, tear-soaked cheeks and haunted eyes.

Ginny was quick to write down everything she knew, but while she was crossing off wrong words, she realized she couldn't concentrate on what she was writing. Every little noise in the classroom disturbed her as if it were a hammer blow; The student in front of her scratching his head, a tip of a quill snapping on the other side of the room, the sound of Luna's soft breathing. The voices from the surrounding classrooms also penetrated her consciousness; Flitwick's lecture on Charms theory, the sound of turning pages, coughs, a student asking a question. The light that came through the windows was suddenly very strong, white and blinding, and made it difficult for her to concentrate on the texture of the fibers of her sheet, which also stood out to her as if she were examining it with a magnifying glass. Countless smells mixed in her nose, drawing her attention from the task she had to concentrate on, and her clothes made her scratch uncontrollably.

She glanced at Luna, trying to attract her attention, but she looked as if she was dreaming as she flooded her quiz with words.

She heard Lestrange walk through the classroom and looked down immediately. She smelled him before she saw him; He smelled of manly perfume with a light scent of leather and luxurious silk. She could feel every trench in his fingertips as he touched her chin and turned her to face him. He looked into her face, and she could see every pore in his face, every eyelash around his dark eyes, every canal in his tight lips that wore a handsome and horrible grin.

"I wouldn't like to believe that you're cheating, Miss Weasley," he said smoothly in her ear, and she flinched as if he yelled. "You know I don't appreciate students who cheat..."

Ginny nodded in a shudder, blinking her eyes stupidly in the blinding light.

Lestrange wasn't finished, but Ginny knew they were about to be interrupted; she could hear footsteps in the corridor outside the classroom and then a deep voice saying, "Call him out, I need to have a word with him."

The door opened and the Death Eater that was watching the door looked in. Lestrange looked at him, and he signaled to him to come outside.

"Watch over them," he said and exited. The Death Eater replaced him and began patrolling the classroom. The rest of the students seemed troubled by his presence, but Ginny didn't even notice him; She could hear Lestrange talking to the stranger outside the classroom as if they were right beside her.

"Rodolphus. It's probably something important if you've come all the way here," Lestrange said in his smug voice. "Hurry up, I have students to go back to, you know."

"Malfoy is sending here some of the puppets from the Ministry next week," Rodolphus Lestrange said uncompromisingly. "To clean out the mudbloods. Snape likes to pretend he's busy, so give him my message. Prepare all of the students' documents for an inspection on Monday."

"It will be done, brother. Anything else?"

"No, get back to your entertainment."

Lestrange re-entered the classroom. Ginny pretended to be writing as he passed her. The fact that she had to remain sitted was unbearable. She had to warn Dean and the other muggle-borns immediately, but she couldn't leave the classroom. She felt that if she didn't do something right away she would explode –

"Time's up."

The parchments were yanked from under the students' hands and settled on Lestrange's desk. Ginny realized with horror that she hadn't written anything of value. The bell rang, but no one dared to get up.

"In our next lesson we will find out exactly who is progressing at the desired pace, and who isn't. Rewards and punishments would be accordingly. Dismissed."

The students flowed out of the classroom like water released from a dam, and Ginny and Luna were thrown into the crowded hallway.

"What did you write about the tenth century Wizards' Captivity?" Luna's voice had never sounded so high and squeaky, especially compered to the endless roar of voices in the hallway. It was unbearably hot out there. "I didn't remember the names of the wizards, but I think I got all the dates right – "

"Luna – "

"They were executed in the spring of 958, right? I wasn't sure – "

"Luna!" Ginny's own voice echoed in her head painfully. Luna looked at her in shock, each colorful speck in her huge eyes visible. Ginny undid her tie and wiped the sweat from her neck and face. "I have to tell you... Merlin, why is it so hot in here!?"

"It's probably the Atlas extract," Luna explained calmly. "Like I said, it makes your senses very sharp."

Ginny sighed and lifted her hair to allow her neck to cool. "I have to tell you something. During the test – "

But she stopped herself. She couldn't know who was listening to her in the crowded corridor.

"What were you saying, Ginny?"

"I'll tell you later," Ginny said, and again she felt as if someone was staring at her.

They separated in the big hall, each going to her own house table. Ginny noticed Seamus's wild hair and Dean's dark face, both deep in conversation. She hurried toward them, intending to tell them everything she had heard, when a solid body blocked her way.

"Your boyfriend would have to wait, Weasley," Lestrange said with a slick smile. He tapped her nose with a rolled parchment. "I've been leafing through today's tests. I was very disappointed to discover that you haven't learned anything at all during out month together."

"I – "

"No excuses, love. I must admit, I was surprised that your inadequacy hadn't shown until now; Frankly, I expected more trouble from you. My office tonight – detention."

He stroked her chin with a sly gesture that made her shiver and walked away. She watched his back, feeling sick at the thought of spending an entire evening with him in his office, when she realized that Dean was looking at her. As soon as she looked back at him he lowered his eyes and pretended to be busy with something else. Ginny moaned in annoyance and crossed the distance with a valid step.

"I need to talk to you," she declared.

Dean acted as if she was disturbing him in the middle of a substantial sip from his goblet. "Can't it wait? I'm eating." He returned to his meal as if it were a meaningful task.

"Could you forget what happened this morning for a second?" She said, sitting down on the bench beside him. Seamus watched them apprehensively, gnawing at a roll. "It's serious."

Apparently the harshness of her tone convinced him, because he nodded unwillingly and stood up, following her out of the Hall. At the Slytherin table someone whistled, followed by cries like, "Go get 'em, Weasley!" And "Don't forget to tell us how it was, Thomas!"

Ginny ignored them demonstratively while Dean blushed awkwardly beside her. They went out into the Entrance Hall, which was empty now except for two bored Death Eaters who were sitting on the stairs playing dice, and climbed the stairs to the common room. They reached it without being harassed by Death Eaters, which was very lucky. They entered and surprised a few frightened house- elves who were in the middle of cleaning, and they hurried away shyly.

As soon as the portrait hole closed behind them, Ginny chose a chair that was as far away from Dean as possible. Dean leaned against the mantel, his hands in his pockets.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Ginny told him immediately about the conversation between Lestrange and his brother. When she finished Dean's dark face was grayish, almost like the heavily cloudy sky outside. He rubbed his chin in a helpless gesture.

"I don't know what we can do," he admitted heavily to her, dropping into another armchair in despair.

"You're giving up?" Ginny let out in shock. "Just like that? You can't – "

"I never understood that about you," he interrupted her rudely, not looking at her. "This inability to accept reality. The constant need to change everything. You've never been satisfied with what you had... You always wanted more..."

Ginny knew he was talking about Harry. She wanted to scream at him, to relieve all the tension that had accumulated in her during these past horrible months. How could he possibly bring up that subject at a time like this? His life was in danger, and he's thinking about why they had broken up last year? She felt a deep contempt for him at that moment, but decided to hold her anger back and concentrate on the issue at hand.

"Can you focus on the problem here?" She slammed at him, "If you want to stay here and wait for to be caught, whatever. But there are other muggle- borns here that are in danger – you can't decide their fate."

"You know there's nothing we can do," he said, rubbing his face wearily. The acceptance of the terrible sentence was evident from every detail of his appearance. Ginny realized, with some horror, how much the last month under the rule of the Death Eaters had affected his determination and sense of self-worth. "Either let the Ministry take them or try to help and be dragged to the bottom with them. No matter what you'll try to do, you'll get caught. You think that fact that you have a wand would change anything? You're dealing with dozens of skilled wizards. The things Harry taught you can't save you this time."

"Why do you keep bringing him up!?" Ginny burst out, her face flaring hot. She was no longer slumped in the chair, but sitting on it's edge tensely.

Dean gave her an innocent but accusing look, a mix that was especially irritating. "You're the one who insists on finding hidden meanings in everything I say." He pretended to clean his fingernails. "It's natural – you probably feel guilty."

"I – " Ginny sprang to her feet. She was so angry that the words got stuck in her throat, choking her with rage. Before she realized what she was doing, she snatched her bag and stormed up the stairs, to the dorms .

A sickening feeling of deja- vu flooded her as she collapsed on Harry's bed in tears. Sometimes she believed that boys liked to make girls cry; It was their way of showing that they were stronger.

Finally, after the first burst of hateful tears had passed, another emotion settled in Ginny's heart – guilt.


	8. A Mad Tea Party

_“'At any rate I'll never go there again!' said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life!'”_

 

As always, the words formed on Ginny's lips too late. After a short time of lying in bed, she knew exactly what she should have said to Dean to win their argument, and to convince herself that there was nothing wrong with the way she broke up wit him.

But it was too late now. All she could do now was talk to herself, and imagine how Harry would have reacted if he know what she'd done with Dean. Would he be furies, or maybe he wouldn't care? She didn't know which was worse.

She missed her afternoon lessons, knowing she would be punished for it, but at that moment she was so exhausted and helpless she just couldn't care anymore. The exhaustion she felt before taking Luna's candy came back to her like a sudden slap to the face and knocked her off her feet. She spent the afternoon lying on the bed in a pool of autumnal sunlight, her sweat- damp hair spread on the tear- soaked pillow. She couldn't move even if she wanted to; The unbearable weight of thoughts surrounding the fate of the muggle- borns at school and the imminent detention with Lestrange pinned her to the mattress. The worse thing was that tears of misery kept rolling down her face because of Dean, of all things.

It was getting dark when she heard students begin to return to the common room after dinner. She didn't bother to turn on the lights, and could barely get out of bed to get into the shower. But she couldn't even enjoy the warm water on her skin –she couldn't stop thinking about what awaited her in Lestrange's office.

Countless rumors spread around the school about the nature of the punishments he used to invoke –  physical pain was the least of them. None of the victims dared to give clear descriptions, but Ginny knew that most of the students who had been punished by Lestrange didn't dare think of making trouble ever again. Furthermore – there were those who openly declared that they supported the Death Eaters from now on.

She came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and found Neville sprawled on his bed, uncharacteristically sulky. As soon as he saw her he looked away quickly, as if she were something disgusting he didn't want to look at, and closed the curtains around his bed.

Ginny dressed behind her curtains slowly, as is she was preparing for a funeral. She decided  that she wouldn't go talk to Neville now, because she had enough on her mind without even trying to deal with what was making him so angry.

She went down to the common room in the middle of the end- of- the- day forum. A stammering third-year was in the middle of a story about some Death Eaters who cursed him before dinner, yet Ginny felt as if all the eyes in the room were turned toward her as she made her way to the portrait hole. She noticed Dean and Seamus by the fire, pretending not to see her – Dean demonstratively and Seamus awkwardly – and near by Romilda Vane stroked the tips of her hair absentmindedly and watched as she crossed the room. In one corner, her classmates were huddled together like a herd of frightened sheep. In the middle of the group sat the beautiful Betty Ogden, who looked extremely thin and lusterless, staring at her feet in an uncharacteristic way.

"Where you going?" Colin, who was leaning against the wall beside the portrait hole, asked her.

"Detention," she replied curtly.

Colin made a face as if he were pinched. "Oh... Good luck, then."

Ginny nodded heavily and exited.

The corridors were dark; No one bothered to light the torches anymore, when the curfew was so early. Fortunately for Ginny, she didn't run into any Death Eaters on her way to Lestrange's office. She saw only the Fat Frair, who greeted her sadly as he passed her, and Flich, who was sitting on a windowsill under a grotesque spotlight of moonlight, caressing his dust-colored cat, not even looking at her as she walked by.

The door to Lestrange's office was dark colored and threatening. Ginny toyed with the thought that if she tried to knock, it would bite her hand off like a monstrous creature.

"What's the point? What's the point?"

Ginny almost screamed at the sound of a murmur from the darkness of the corridor. She turned in horror, seeing a floating half-transparent body in the window bay, barely visible in the elusive moonlight.

It was Binns, the ghost who taught History of Magic before all the bad things began to happen. He seemed duller and less glossy than usual, as if his body was evaporating into the air, and a particularly weary expression was seen on his down cast face. He hovered in the air, staring at Ginny – actually, he was staring at the door behind her.

"What's the point?" He questioned again.

"Sorry?" Ginny blurted out, uncertain whether she should respond. He never used to act like that; He's always been grounded and clear, even if a bit slow. It seemed that the loss of his position and routine sent him into an existential uncertainty, as he was left to face eternity with no meaning.

"Am I who I was yesterday?" The ghost continued to talk to himself. "I am who I will be tomorrow? I used to know, once the days were clear, the nights were dark ... But now there's nothing left. Only dreams, dreams..."

Ginny swallowed and turned her back to Binns, deciding to go in before she was late. She knocked on the door; In her ears the sound was like the clatter of the gates of hell in the silence of the corridor.

After a few moments the door opened, exposing a dark, fragrant space on the other side. Rabstan Lestrange wore one of his excellent robes, this time in deep wine red.

"Just in time, Miss Weasley," he said with a smile, gesturing for her to enter in a manner that Ginny saw as pure mockery. "Feel comfortable."

He closed the door behind her, and she heard him lock it. She pleaded with herself to stay calm.

Lestrange's office was tastefully decorated. It reminded Slughorn's office in its comfort and its many mysterious objects, but overcame it in its order and aesthetics. In Lestrange's office every object had an integral place, and each color was inserted exactly in the right for it. The room was lit by the fire in the fireplace, and by a few candles that spread soft light. It would have been a wonderful, even romantic place to spend the evening, if not for Lestrange.

Ginny immediately began to look for the box of wands she had heard about; The only object in the room that could have been it was a long, narrow box with a leather lid loaded with locks that stood under the window.

Lestrange put a hand on her shoulder and she tensed, but he merely led her to a comfortable armchair in front of the fireplace, sitting himself in front of her. Every nerve in her body was on alert. She watched carefully as Lestrange opened a beautiful crystal bottle that stood on a small table between them and poured dark wine into two matching cups. Then he put his nose to the bottle's mouth and breathed it's scent in satisfaction.

"A wonderful vintage," he told her almost dreamily, turning to whirl the drink in his cup as he settled himself gracefully. "Drink. The wine isn't poisoned, I can assure you. If I wanted to hurt you I would have done it long ago, and much more publicly."

Ginny took the second cup and felt her hands tremble a little. She sniffed the drink, not knowing exactly what she was looking for, and didn't drink.

"Allow me to apologize," Lestrange began. "I thought about your test today, and I came to the conclusion that I overreacted a bit in my response; A teacher must be attentive to his students, and I realized that I haven't considered yours since I started my job, as any good teacher would. I understand that life at home isn't easy for you; Your father is struggling to feed you and you brothers, and I imagine that it isn't easy to grow up with six older brothers with whom you must share everything. I can only imagne, of course. As children my brother and I were never asked to share anything – anything we wanted, our parents had enough gold to get one to eatch of us. Yes, it's no secret that the Weasleys lead hard lives. So I have decided that I must use my position to help you."

Ginny wasn't even surprised. She didn't have to wonder what he had in mind.

"We'll join Voldemort when Snape grows a pig's tail," she spat out.

Lestrange laughed easily, but Ginny noticed that the mention of Voldemort's name didn't leave him completely indifferent. At that moment she knew what his greatest fear was.

"Well, he's not that far that. But, ah, that's not the point. The thing is, I have to urge you to seriously consider it. All your life you have been taught to be who you are today – wouldn't you want to have the opportunity to hear the other side of the story, the side you might have chosen if you had the choice?"

"No."

Lestrange sighed and sipped lightly. "I can't say I'm surprised. Almost everyone thinks according to the way they were educated, especially those who think they are the masters of their own destiny. But don't you sometimes wonder what your life would have looked like if you had gotten a different education?"

Ginny didn't respond. He went on, "Here lies all the hatred against the Dark Lord and his followers, I think. Human beings were taught to say that darkness is evil, terrible, cruel. But anyone who thinks about it from a neutral point of view will immediately say that darkness can't be bad. It's not good, though, but as they say, nothing is black or white. It has both good and evil. Darkness is a natural phenomenon; It provides a hunting ground for cruel predators, but also shelter for the prey. It instills fear in the human heart, but it also brings it peace. Like everything in nature, it has always been and always will be. You can accept it as part of the world, or spend your life in a pointless fear of it. What do you think?"

He presented things so clearly and pleasantly that Ginny couldn't deny that his words made sense, but she reminded herself not to take down her defenses, and to remember that she was talking to a Death Eater.

Were murder, humiliation, torture and coercion part of this charming natural phenomenon? Ginny repeated the question in her mind like a shielding mantra, but she didn't say it aloud. Maybe she feared that Lestrange's reply would be persuasive, and she didn't think she had the strength at the moment to resist a compelling argument. So she kept silent.

"I see that you're a hard nut to crack," he said, peering at her in a disconcerting manner as he sipped the rest of his wine and stood up. "That's alright. In fact, I would have been disappointed if you would have been convinced immediately. No matter, let's move on to the second part of our evening. If you have been wondering," he added as he brought the little table closer to Ginny so that her legs were below it,"Our evening is divided into three parts."

He turned to one of the cupboards and came back with an object covered in a silky cloth. He placed it on the table in front of Ginny and removed the dusty cloth, reveling a round mirror in a silver and sapphire frame that was shaped like corals and fish. The mirror's face was silvery and smooth, reflecting Ginny's face with a mysterious brilliance. It looked as if she were staring back at herself from under a quiet pool of water, illuminated by the silvery specter of the enchanted object. The magical light created the illusion that her many preckles were swallowed up in her ivory skin, and that her eyes was more bright and sparkling than ever, as if she was wearing crystal lenses. She wondered if she really looked that old and grave these days, or was it just Lestrange's presence that made her stiffen like a rock.

Lestrange came to stand behind her. She could see him in the mirror, over her shoulder, and shuddered as he gathered her hair in his hands and pushed it over her shoulders. These was something so sensual in the gesture that it made her want to be sick.

"I don't think I've ever seen hair with a charming color as yours," he told her. "But don't let me stray off topic – I didn't put this mirror here so you could look at your pretty face. This is a water mirror, a very rare and beautiful object, which allows the person who looks at it to communicate with any person at will, provided her is located near water. Now, tell me – is there anyone you would like to talk to?"

Her mother, her father, her brothers, Tonks, Hermione... But she wouldn't give him the pleasure. "No."

"We both know that's a dirty lie," he said, holding on to her head, which she turned aside, and forced her gently but firmly to face her own reflection in the mirror. "I'm sure you'd like to see your darling's face."

Ginny swallowed. "I don't know what you're talking about," she lied to her own face steadily.

"Enough with the games," said Lestrange, and she felt he was beginning to lose his patience. He grinned derisively over her shoulder and made a mocking imitation of a girl, _"You and Harry were like, forever."_

Ginny felt a cold sensation trickle down her back. They were listening to them throughout the the train ride – how could she have been so stupid and exposed everything?

On the other hand, something in her was pleased that all of Harry's stupid nobility had gone down the drain, and that he couldn't protect her any more.

"Come on, say his name to the mirror. I can't wait to see his face when he sees your beautiful face in his coffee mug," Lestrange said, holding her shoulders in a valid grip.

She knew it was only a matter of time before curses were involved. She swallowed and paused, looking at the slippery surface. Finally she spoke, and the solitary word sounded as if someone else had said it.

"Harry."

The surface moved in silver ripples. Ginny shut her eyes and hoped with every fiber of her being that Harry wasn't close to any water source. It seemed she was lucky that night, because nothing happened. She felt relieved, yet something inside her was pinched in disappointment.

"Too bad," Lestrange said and let go of her. "Well, there's no use to linger. Let's move on. Return the mirror to the closet, please."

He turned his back to her and watched the night through the window while Ginny took as long as she possibly could to cover the mirror and carry it to the closet. It was her chance to act – but Lestrange was standing right in front of the box. What could she do?

"Come here, Ginny," he ordered as she pretended to arrange the position of the object on the shelf.

Feeling her nervousness and fear increase at the sound of his harsh tone, she moved cautiously toward him and stood behind him. He took her arm in a firm but painless grip and set her in front of him, facing the window. Her toes where touching the trunk that held all of the students' wands – their only hope was laying at her feet...

"Look at the moon," he told her, forcing her to look up at the half-moon that hung like a window into different, bright world above the forest. "It usually comforts girls of your age."

Suddenly he was pressed against her from behind in a disturbing manner. His arm went to wrap around her waist and hold her in place, while a foreign tongue creeped at her neck shamelessly. She began to go wild immediately, as if trying to shake off a nasty insect that was climbing on her, but his grip was strong. He chuckled menacingly against her neck, his hands starting to roam freely over her body.

Everything Tonks had taught her about self-defense in the past summers seemed to be pushed into the fringes of her mind by the paralyzing fear she felt, and she was helplessly searching for the knowledge as she tried to earn more time. She tried to hurt him in the only way she could; She gripped his thick hair and pulled it cruelly.

He let out a cry of pain that soon became a laugh. "That's how you like it, eh?"

Tears filled her eyes as he turned her toward him, and her knee shot out forcefully toward his crotch. His grip on her loosened with the sharp cry of pain and she aimed her fist at his face. She hit his nose, and it was painful for both of them; Her fingers ached as if she had struck concrete. Before he could recover, however, she kicked his kneecap and he fell, blurred with pain. With a trembling body, she managed to jump on him and pin him to the floor. It was a temporary arrangement until she managed to draw his wand out with trembling fingers and point it at his scalp.

When it was all over, she realized she was panting heavily and trembling violently, and that he was smiling bitterly against the floor, a little blood dripping from his nose.

"I must stop underestimating you," he chuckled. She pushed the tip of his wand to his head forcefully to shut him up.

"I'm going to kill you," she gasped. She wasn't the first girl her told to look at the moon; He was responsible for Betty Ogden's dead eyes, and for the pain of many more.

"And what do you think will happen after you kill me? That everyone will live happily ever after? When they find out I've been murdered no studnets will be spared from punishment, and it would be all your fault. Do you truly think that the suffering of some of you is worth suffering for everyone?"

Ginny knew he was right, but she didn't want to acknowledge the choice she had to make.

"Go," he suggested. "I'll let you walk away. I understand now that you're not like the rest of the girls here – I have to sweat for what I want, don't I? You can be sure you'll end up in my bed, but not tonight. Not like this."

Ginny allowed herself to consider her options for a moment. Finally she realized she had to leave before he changed his mind. She got up and walked across the room, almost running to the door, his wand still in her hand.

"Leave it here if you want to get to your common room in one piece," he called after her, still on the floor.

She threw the wand down and slammed the door hard behind her hard.

"What's the point? What's the point?... " Binns murmured in the darkness outside, glowing in the moonlight through the curtain of violent tears that flooded Ginny's eyes. "I could never fight..."


	9. The Pool of Tears

_“But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her..."_

The hours after she left Lestrange's office stretched and twisted until she no longer knew what time it was or where she was at all. She couldn't remember the walk to the common room, only the sea of thoughts that drowned her while she lay in bed.

A few hours into the night she began to cry uncontrollably, all her troubles and fears getting in line to be set free. She tried to tell herself that she should be relieved that she was able to get away, but the event made her realize how weak and helpless she was in the face of everything that was happening around her; That she couldn't defend herself, after all.

She spent a long time in the realm between wakefulness and sleep. Thoughts about Lestrange and the other Death Eaters mingled with bad childhood memories and disturbing thoughts about the Chamber of Secrets. Ever since she had been rescued from the clutches of Tom Riddle she swore to herself that she would never need a knight in shinning armor to save her again, but now her yearning for Harry had become unbearable. Pathetic.

She couldn't stop imagining Lestrange's hands touching her, his slippery tongue tasting her, the evil light in his eyes as she held the wand to his head. Nausea gurgled inside her until she couldn't hold it anymore and ran to the bathroom to vomit everything her empty stomach could produce.

When she stumbled back into the room, fuzzy and washed with tears, one of the boys sat in his bed and looked at her. She collapsed into her own bed and felt him lean over her.

"You alright, Ginny?" It was Seamus, who sounded very worried. Dean mumbled something from the nearest bed.

She nodded in the dark, not sure whether he could see her at all. Tears kept rolling freely down her face, and she had no more power to try and stop it.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I think she's sick. Maybe we should get McGonagall?"

"What do you feel?"

She realized vaguely that Dean was addressing her, but the saltiness of her tears seemed to paralyze her tongue. What does she feel?... What _does_ she feel, really?...

"She doesn't look so good," said a third voice, Neville. "I'll go call McGonagall – "

"Wait – how will you get out? The corridors are full of Death Eaters..."

From that moment on all she could remember were dim nightmare flashes and blurred voices, and then the feeling that she was being carried out of bed in someone's arms.

  


When she could distinguish between reality and dream again she was laying in an unfamiliar bed, in a room with a pleasant, sterile smell. She felt very hot. She absently pushed the covers off her sweaty body and lay for a long time with closed eyes, half awake, until she could finaly remember her name. Together with her name, her personality and all her memories struck her all at once, forcing her to open her eyes in order to escape the nightmares she had experienced.

For a moment she felt dizzy, not recognizing her surroundings at all. After a moment she realized that she was in the infirmary, lying in a white bed with clean, fragrant sheets. High on the walls around her, narrow windows spread a cool light filtered by soft drops of rain.

Her body was very weak and her mind confused. She felt as if a whole lifetime had passed since the last time she had been awake. She sat up slowly. On the table beside her bed was a bouquet of yellow roses, a few petals falling from it to the white tablecloth, a fluffy stuffed blue unicorn, and a large circular jar full of clear water; At it's bottom grew pink and blue flowers that shone in a soft, colorful light.

The roses were from Slughorn, who also attached a colorful get- well card decorated with ribbons who changed their colors. At the bottom of the card he scribbled that he would love to have her for tea in his office after she recovered. The stuffed unicorn was from Seamus, Dean, and Neville. The flowers in the jar were from Luna, who had written her that the Narcissus of the Depths had been known to have calming effects of the nerves, and that she was taking care of Arnold of her.

In addition to these gifts, another envelope was laying on the table. It was very simple, and there was nothing written on it. Ginny opened it curiously and found inside a single piece of parchment, completely clean except for one date, written in tiny letters in the top corner; _May 8th, 1997_.

The date didn't mean anything to her. She searched the letter for more information, but it was blank. More than she was curious about why someone would send her a blank note with a past date on it, she was curious about who it could have been. Was it Lestrange playing a trick on her? Or perhaps it was a clue from someone that was afraid to approach her in public? But that could have been anyone!

Where was she on the eighth of May of that year? At school, probably. It was about a month before Dumbledore's death. Life seemed so carefree then; The only things that bothered her were her upcoming OWL's, and as a result, the lack of time she could spend with Harry...

Soon her thought wandered toward the question of what was the date right now, and she realized she had no idea at all. She got out of bed, placing her bare feet on the cold floor, and tried to get up, feeling as if her feet and knees were made of paper. She passed the screens that surrounded the bed and went to Madame Pomfrey's office. The Med-Witch came out just as she was about to knock on the door.

"You're up, Miss Weasley! Put on your slippers on right away, the floor is freezing!" She cried and Accio-ed a pair of colorless slippers from one of the cupboards.

"Well, how do you feel today?" She asked Ginny as she put them on.

"All right, I suppose," Ginny said, although a dull headache pulsed at the back of her head. "How long was I asleep?"

"Asleep? You were unconscious, dear. You suffered from severe exhaustion and malnutrition. Let's see... You've been lying here for almost three days now."

Ginny's eyes went wide, and she felt a cold wave of horror washing over her. "That means today is – "

"Saturday, that's right."

Ginny felt her legs go weak. Madame Pomfrey noticed that and helped her get back to bed. She began to examine her, and all Ginny could think about of were the muggle- borns, who didn't know that in two days the Ministry would come to take them to a place from which they might not return.

"I think you'd better stay here tonight, too," Pomfrey said when she had finished the tests. "You're still very weak."

"No!" Cried Ginny, who had to hurry and warn everyone she could. "I mean, I feel fine. Can't I go back to the dorms?"

"Absolutely not."

"But I have to catch up on the classes I've missed. You know that – "

"Professor McGonagall spoke to Snape on your behalf," the Med- Witch said, and Ginny didn't miss a trace of contempt in her voice. "Ultimately she managed to explain to him that a student can't be brain- washed when she's unconscious..."

Ginny bit her lip, conflicted. If she couldn't do anything herself, she had to at least warn McGonagall. She cursed herself for not taking the time to tell her before everything that's happened – what if it was too late to save them?

 

"Are you absolutely convinced that was what you've heard?" McGonagall asked, having heard what Ginny had to say, sitting upright in the chair beside her bed.

"I know what I heard, Professor," Ginny insisted.

McGonagall didn't argue anymore. She sighed and removed her glasses to rub her temples, as if it could sharpen her mind. Ginny had never seen her without her glasses, and she was surprised to discover that her face looked young and vulnerable without them.

"I'll inform the rest of the teachers and we'll see what we can do," she said at last, returning her glasses – her shield – to their place. "However, the odds are not in our favor, that I can tell you right now."

Again this defeatism. Ginny had to hold herself not to get angry. She tried to look over the screens to make sure there was no one else in the room.

"We're alone here, Miss Weasley. You can talk freely," McGonagall assured her.

"Isn't there a way to contact the Order?"

"There is a way," said McGonagall gravely, "On the contrary, they have known about the situation here for a long time. But I honestly don't know what they can do to help. The Order is full of excellent wizards and witches, but not enough to break through all the defenses that Severus has set up here and leave with dozens of students, all unharmed."

"So maybe someone has to get hurt," Ginny blurted out, fisting the sheets.

McGonagall sighed heavily. "It's easy to say, but hard to do. You can't force someone to risk his life for someone he doesn't know."

Ginny knew she was right. She wondered whether she might have been too hard on Dean, but decided it didn't matter anymore.

A few other visitors arrived that evening, after McGonagall had left, and helped distract her for a short time. Terry Boot and Hannah Abbott made a brief courtesy visit, and the DA members from Gryffindor and Luna sat with her for a long time; Seamus smuggled biscuits from the kitchen and they ate them with pleasure until Madame Pomfrey saw them and scolded them for making crumbs. Ginny noticed that Dean was making an effort to behave pleasantly and not to remind her of their quarrel, and she appreciated it, even though she noticed a chill behind his every word and look. Neville sat in a strange, enclosed silence, speaking only when spoken to.

Most of all, Ginny wanted to know if Dean had told anyone about what she told him that day. However, he averted his gaze every time she tried to catch his eye. So she said nothing; She didn't dare raise the subject out loud because Colin and Dennis had come to amuse her with muggle magic tricks, and she didn't dare put out the two brothers' charming glee.

As curfew approached her visitors began to disperse. Finally only Luna stayed, holding Ginny's hand dreamily. The flowers in the jar gave a beautiful melancholic light in the dim space between the infirmary screens.

"Would you like to talk about it?" She asked after they have been sitting in a pleasant silence for a while.

"What about?"

"About the detention. We all know about it," she added as she saw the recoil on Ginny's face. "Colin told us. I guess the rest were afraid of your reaction, so they didn't bring it up. You want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about," Ginny said heavily, and she knew Luna was unconvinced.

"It's all right," she assured her sweetly. "I understand. You have another guest, anyway. I'll come and see you tomorrow."

She hugged Ginny gently and left, smiling at someone who was standing outside the flowers' pool of light. After a moment Betty Ogden came in, smiling shyly.

"Hi," Ginny blurted out, surprised.

"Hi," Betty replied weakly. She sat down carefully in the chair Luna had left, holding her backpack close to her chest, as if she was afraid it would be snatched from her. In the soft light it was clear how beautiful she was; Smooth, virginal skin, shinny hair flowing like honey on her shoulders, full pink lips, and big dark eyes, dull and glossy like two dark mirrors.

"How – how do you feel?"

They had a brief, pointless conversation about Ginny's well being. After the subject was exhausted, they both fell silent. Once they had been close friends, best friends, but now they hadn't spoken for more than six months. Ginny couldn't pin-point the exact moment when their relationship had been severed, because she was so absorbed in Harry and her friends form the DA that she didn't notice their friendship fading. All she knew now was that she had nothing in common with Betty Ogden.

Well, maybe now she had one thing.

"I don't really know why I came," Betty finally confessed, her eyes downcast. "I just heard that you had detention with... Him. And..." She cleared her throat. "N-Never mind. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Bye – " She got up and turned to leave.

"I know why you came," Ginny said weakly behind Betty's receding back. She halted, and Ginny felt an unwanted lump in her throat when she said, "I know what he did to you..."

The tears came faster then she expected. The crushing disgust flooded her again, but now she began to get a slow release through invisible cracks that opened all over her body.

Betty remained standing, touching her face carefully, as if she were afraid they would break.

"You – you, too?" Her voice was broken and fragile, like a rose petals falling among the thorns.

"Almost," Ginny said hoarsely. "I managed to push him away, but... It's not over..." She felt that if she tried to say anything else she would collapse for another three days.

Betty covered her mouth as she began to weep uncontrollably. Ginny realized she was standing up and walking over to her, as if in a dream, and hugging her. She hugged her back hard, as if she were the only thing left in her world.

"You're so strong, Ginny. You've always been," Betty whispered between her tears. Ginny felt tears on her own nose and lips, salty tears, falling into Betty's hair. She could see what had happened to her as if she were there at that time – everything that Lestrange had done to her –

"I was just lucky." The words died on Ginny's lips, choked so swiftly that she wasn't sure whether she had actually said them or imagined herself saying them. "I'll make him pay," she said clearly. "You're... Not the only one."

"I'm not?..."

Ginny knew she wasn't. "No. You're not."

"I feel so sorry for them." Betty let go of her, wiping tears and makeup from her face. She looked like a neglected little china doll. "I didn't tell anyone... I could not. I was so ashamed."

Ginny understood her completely. She knew she wouldn't share this secret with anyone except for Betty. No one else could understand.

They sat together for a long time in a comforting silence. Finally Madame Pomfrey came in to check on Ginny and informed Betty that it was almost time for curfew, and that she had to hurry to back to her common room.

She parted from Ginny with a hug. Before she left, she said, "Why don't you go come back to our room? It's must be terrible to share with the boys."

Thinking about the alienated Dean and quiet Neville, Ginny assured her happily that she would.

Shortly after that she went to bed. She felt the cracks in her body slowly mending after they had been drained from poison, and she lay in serenity, feeling calm as she hadn't felt in a long time. She told herself then that the past was in the past – in that moment, everything was all right


	10. Cheshire

_“'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'_

_'That depends a good deal on where you want to get,' said the Cat."_

"We're doing it tonight."

Those were the first words Neville had said to her for days. She looked up from the book she was pretending to read while she was thinking. It was only in her imagination that she could pretend that she was engaging in some daring act, thus cooling down her need to act, which burned like fire in her veins from the moment she woke up in the infirmary that morning.

"Do what?"

"We'll break into Lestrange's office. We'll steal the wands. You've been there, you probably know where he's keeping them."

"Yeah," she blurted out uncertainly, not wanting to think about it. "Why tonight?"

"Why not?" Neville said with a shrug, and Ginny realized that Dean hadn't told him about the new approaching threat.

"Alright," she said, wanting to do something although she didn't really think it would work. She closed the book and looked at Neville, who averted her gaze stubbornly. "What's the plan?"

"I heard Lestrange talking to Carrow about a staff meeting tonight. We'll sneak into his office when he's not there."

Ginny had a feeling that she knew what was the reason for the Death Eater meeting. She wondered if she should tell Neville about it, but before she could he said in a final tone, "So tonight." And left.

 

It seemed that it was crucial to Neville that Dean and Seamus wouldn't know what they were going to do, because that evening he was waiting for Ginny in the common room in his school uniform, pretending to work on last-minute homework while the room clears.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked him as he made his way to the portrait hole, not even checking if she was following him.

"I've never been more sure," he stated.

The warm light from the common room was cut off when the portrait closed, leaving the two of them in the cold darkness of the hallway.

"It's after curfew, dears," the fat lady told them.

"We know," Neville said surly. The darkness cast a heavy shadow over his eyes, and his mouth was stretched to a thin line. "Thanks for your concern," he added courteously, and began to walk without looking at Ginny.

Ginny wanted to demand an explanation for his unusual behavior, but at the last moment decided she didn't have the strength to argue with him at the moment – she was sick of fighting with everyone, and they had a much more important task ahead of them.

They almost ran into a couple of Death Eaters on the third floor, but the two were laughing so loudly that they heard them in time and managed to make a detour. Once they had to go into an empty classroom in order to avoid another patrol, but otherwise they reached Lestrange's office easily.

Neville glanced at his watch and then put his ear to the door. "He's supposed to be in the meeting, and I can't hear him inside... What's wrong?"

Ginny realized she was biting her nails. She herself wasn't sure why she was doing this, or why she felt so tense. She knew Lestrange wasn't in there, so why was she so scared?

"Binns," she lied. "He was here the last time I was here..."

"Binns?" Neville's forehead wrinkled. "Oh, Binns..." He lost interest in the matter and took out a charmed pocket knife from his pocket. While he was busy picking the lock, Ginny noticed the words _'Property of Frank Longbottom'_ engraved on the handle in silver curly letters.

Something in Ginny wanted Binns to be there with his meaningless mumbling. The absolute silence of the dark corridor made her fear lash uncontrollably. The sight of the heavy door awoke strong memories from the night of her "detention", so strong that for a brief moment she had trouble reminding herself that it was in the past.

The lock clicked open. Neville opened the door and peered into the dark space. Ginny could imagine Lestrange's face with a shuddering clarity, smiling nastily at her over Neville's head.

"There's no one there," Neville announced in a whisper, and Ginny didn't think twice before stepping into the darkness, her hand gripping Harry's gift tightly.

When she was little, Ginny used to be afraid of the dark. The darkness would creep under her blanket at night, suffocating her, terrifying her. No one could ever take that fear away; Not her mom and dad who came to comfort her, not Bill who allowed her to sleep with him in his bed, not Charlie who told stories to soothe her, not the twins who entertained her with colorful lights. So the only way to overcome it was to deal with it – to embrace the darkness.

Ultimately she overcame that fear. And since then she would never sink in agony or cry, but would make the fear a part of her. She was afraid to devote herself physically and emotionally, so she moved from boyfriend to boyfriend with the ease of leafing through a magazine. She was afraid to remember what had happened in the Chamber of Secrets, so she never stopped thinking about it. She was afraid of the war, so she did everything she could to take a part in it. She was afraid to be dependent on someone else, so she tied herself to Harry so tightly that when the ship sank, she went down with it.

Some people called it courage. In reality, it was just a different kind of fear.

Now she felt a small triumph as she stood in Lestrange's office when he wasn't there, as if she had conquered it. The place where he had hurt so many has become a place from which she would fight back.

After her eyes got used to the darkness, she could see the objects illuminated by the cool moonlight. She went to the window, where she stood three days ago, and looked at the glowing, steady eye in the sky. An uncontrollable shudder climbed up her spine. She didn't feel brave at all.

She was startled when Neville kicked the box at her feet, apparently unaware or uninterested in her strange behavior. "This is it?"

"I think so," she replied hoarsly, urging herself to stop thinking about what had happened before, and concentrate on the now. "Can you pick the lock?"

"I don't think so," said Neville, examining the half dozen different locks on the box. "I think Granny used to have one like this. It only opens if you open all the locks at the same time."

Ginny aimed her wand. It was strange to use a wand after a time that seemed like an eternity.

"No, wait – " Neville began, but the spell was already on Ginny's lips –

_"Alohomora."_

The locks on the chest began to rattle violently, as if possessed, creating a deafening alarm that filled the whole room and the corridor outside.

Ginny felt as if she suffered and insulting slap to the face. Neville sat up and took hold of her wrist, pulling her out of the office easily. The sound of thundering footsteps was approaching them already, echoing from the corridor to their left; Neville yanked her with him as he ran right, into the darkness.

The self-reproach she had inflicted on herself for her horrible stupidity slowed her down, and when she realized this, she urged herself to make sure they both reached safety before she started cursing herself. As soon as she was fully aware of the danger she was in, she began to run faster, and now she was the one who was leading the escape.

" – The alarm sounded at Lestrange's –" A voice could be heard from the floor below. They both stopped abruptly on the top of the descending stairs, turning and running the other was thoughtlessly.

Ginny felt like they were running forever. They didn't even know if they were running toward the common room – the main thing was not to be caught by the Death Eaters, who emerged from rooms and corridors in search of the person who had triggered the alarm.

"Over there!"

Bright rays of light emerged from several wands, moving across the dark walls around them, searching. Ginny and Neville stopped abruptly when they realized that their escape route had been blocked by silhouettes that were approaching them quickly.

Ginny looked around wildly. A single window looked out into the cold night. But what floor were they on? Surely they were too high – they couldn't escape through it... Portraits, armor suits – maybe they could hide behind them? It would never work... One tapestry – they were getting closer – and one statue of a hump- backed witch, watching the couple of runaways with an ancient scorn.

Ginny felt as though she had been splashed with ice water. How had she not thought of it before?

Her wand was still in her hand when she whispered, _"Dissendium!"_ Her heart pounding in her throat. The statue moved. She pulled Neville through the little opening after her and threw all her weight on it in order to close it. A ray of light blinded her for a moment before the two were secured in the dank darkness of the passage.

"Did you find anything?" A Death Eater asked on the other side of the statue, his voice ringing clear through the rocks and mud, above Ginny and Neville's fast breathing.

"Nothing. The corridors are empty," someone answered.

"Keep looking. We put guards at the entrances to all the common rooms, they can't hide."

After she was sure they had left, Ginny dared to light the end of her wand. Neville, the bright light casting a heavy shadow over his eyes, looked around in wonder and apprehension. In the darkness it wasn't clear how small the passage was; now it was clear that even as each of them clung to an oppisite wall, there was only a small space between them.

"What is this place?" He asked finally, still breathing a little hard.

"A secret passage to Hogsmeade," said Ginny, studying the cobwebs on the high ceiling absently.

How could she forget this passage? It was supposed to be the first solution that came to her as soon as she realized that Hogwarts had been conquered. After all the times she had sneaked with Harry through this passage last year she should have remembered it immediately, Especially after the last time they sneaked into Hogsmeade, after her Astronomy OWL the year before. It was one of the most wonderful evenings in Ginny's life – it was before she thought Harry might leave her, before there were Death Eaters in Hogwarts, when she felt loved and safe...

For the third time that night, Ginny felt a jittery understanding flooding her. Her Astronomy exam took place on May 8, 1997. That evening she and Harry used this passage to go to Hogsmeade.

She stuck a hand in her pocket, even though she knew she had left the mysterious note in the dorm. _May 8, 1997_. That was the date that was written in the note she got in the infirmary. Was it just a strange coincidence that she remembered the passage tonight, or was someone trying to direct her to remember it?

But who could have known what she had done that evening? She might have told Luna about it, but she wasn't sure she had mentioned the secret passage. She believed Harry would have told Ron and Hermione, maybe Neville, too, but Ron and Hermione were far away, and Neville was confused by the existence of the passage almost as confused as she was by the note.

A new thought occurred to her then. No one had a reason to remember that date – it didn't mean anything to anyone – except her and Harry. So maybe – maybe – He was the one who sent her that note? Maybe he was there, somewhere close by, watching over her?...

The thought filled her heart and mind with a brilliant light, but it went out almost imminently. Harry couldn't be at Hogwarts. He was probably searching for a way to defeat Voldemort somewhere far away; Sending mysterious clues wasn't like him, anyway.

It had to be someone else. That date must have had a different meaning. She didn't do anything meaningful that day, not that she could remember...

"You heard what they said," Neville said, looking into the darkness beyond the tunnel. "They're watching the common rooms, we can't go back without being caught. Where in Hogsmeade does this tunnel lead to?"

"The Honeydukes storage room. We can hide there until morning," Ginny said, and then had an idea. "Do you think it could be possible to... Escape from here?"

Neville looked troubled. "You're going to run away from Hogwarts?"

"Not me," Ginny said immediately. "Other children. Muggle- borns. The Ministry is sending representatives tomorrow – I'm not sure what that means for them, but – "

"What do you mean, representatives?" Neville asked, even more troubled. "And how do you know that?"

 _And why didn't you tell me before?_ Ginny heard the words he didn't say out loud and wished she hadn't brought up the subject.

"I happened to hear Lestrange talking about it... I told McGonagall, and she said she would do what she could to protect the muggle- borns, even though she didn't believe there was much she could do..." She was careful to omit the fact that she had also told Dean about it.

Neville nodded gravely, not looking at her. Ginny tried to figure out whether he was hurt that she hadn't told him before, or if he was just concerned about the situation. She preferred to leave the subject and pretend that she hadn't brought it up at all.

"We should go," she said, and he nodded again. She led and he followed her, both of them walking in complete silence.

Feeling Neville's eyes in her back, Ginny knew that he was somewhat angry with her, while something inside her already forgave her. Neville was like that. She would have preferred that he would get angry and yell like Dean did, and not to give her that hurt silence.


	11. Advice from a Caterpiller

_“'Who are **you**?'"_

Neville's head emerged first from the secret flap door in the floor of the storage room.

"Is there anyone here?" He whispered into the darkness. No voice answered. He climbed out and Ginny got out after him, the bright light of her wand jumping off the crates and the stained walls. There was nobody there, not even rats. A heavy smell of mold and bad sweets hung in the air.

Neville grimaced. "It looks like they haven't refreshed their supplies for some time."

"People probably don't feel like eating candy in a time like this."

Neville turned his back to her as he looked around. She felt as though he was trying to tell her that he hadn't spoken to her specifically.

"Listen, Neville..." The words died on her lips. Neville watched her with his big baby eyes, waiting for her to speak, perhaps waiting of an apology. Something about his look made her feel uncertain.

"You don't have to be so hard on me," she said at last.

Neville's face hardened. It was in his nature to stammer and hesitate, but he did no such thing when he blurted out, "Maybe that way you'll realize what you have."

_"You've never been satisfied with what you had... You've always wanted more..."_

Dean's words echoed in her head in response to Neville's words, waking a sudden anger in her. They couldn't both be saying the same thing to her. They couldn't both be right. It wasn't true. It was unfair of them to say something like that about her.

"What I have? What exactly do I have? Friends who turn their back on me when I need them most?" The words left a sour taste in her mouth. In the end she had to deal with Lestrange alone that night, and that was the only real trial.

Neville shook his head as if to say she wasn't getting it, but didn't speak.

"Well?" She demanded. His lack of interest in the subject was almost insulting. "What is this thing that I have, that I need to appreciate so much?"

"You said so yourself," he replied, thrusting his hands into his pockets and kicking the dust on the floor. "Friends. There are people here who are willing to follow you wherever you go. You're the one who's turned your back on us, Gin. Hiding things from us, withdrawing into yourself..."

"I don't remember asking to lead anyone," Ginny said hotly. But a dry lump of self-anger stuck in her throat, because she knew it wasn't true. She jumped on the first opportunity to lead the other students as soon as she had learned that the Death Eaters had taken over Hogwarts. But she didn't do it out of a desire to be at the center of things, to lead, but out of a sense of duty; While her brother, Hermione and Harry weren't there, she felt the duty to take their place.

And as for withdrawing into herself... Her eyes burned with unshed tears now, looking hard into Neville's face, defying; She could tell him every thing, what Lestrange tried to do to her, what he will try to do again in the future... But she blinked away the tears bravely. She didn't need the explain herself to him. She didn't need his pity.

"It doesn't matter whether you asked for it or not. That's how it is." Neville avoided her gaze at all costs. "I've always wanted to say this to Harry when he looked like he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders, but I never had the courage..."

"That's pretty sad." For her, attack was always the best defense.

He smiled bitterly. "I know," he confessed to the floor. "But... I have the courage to tell you to stop pushing us away. We want to help you – I want to help you... And ... You shouldn't have done what you did with Dean. Harry, he really loves you..." He chewed his lower lip, and Ginny's grip on the wand was so strong that she lost sensation in her fingers. "And he's not the only one."

A beam of light hit them and cut Ginny's train of thought. She was almost glad at the sudden appearance of a man at the top of the wooden staircase that led to the shop.

"Identify yourself," he demanded gravely.

Ginny blinked in the blinding light, raising a hand to shield her eyes. "You first."

"You're the ones who broke into my shop," said the man, passing the beam from her to Neville and back.

"Looks like Hogwarts students, if you ask me," said someone else.

"We can't know for sure," the first man said. "Now a days you can't know anything for sure. I won't say it again – identify yourself."

"I'm Neville Longbottam, and this is Ginny Weasley," said Neville, raising his arms to show he was unarmed. Ginny felt a desire to silence him. Was it an attempt to be brave, plain stupidity, or the right thing to do?

"I don't have a wand, only she does."

Ginny laid her wand on the floor when she saw that the knowledge of their names didn't inspire the strangers to curse them.

"So that's the secret passage?" Asked the older of the two, who approached and peered into the opening that appeared in the floor of his storage room.

After a few moments in the wand light, Ginny recognized him; It was the shopkeeper's husband. Once he had been fat and red- cheeked, but now it seemed he had lost much weight, and great parts of his hair. He was wearing a house robe and slippers, and from his pocket peaked a round object that looked like one of the colored smoke- bombs that Fred and George were selling in their shop in Diagon Alley.

The other man was much younger, only a little older than Ginny and Neville. He wore striped pajamas that made him look even longer than he was, his dark hair looked like a bird's nest, and he held his wand in one hand and a cooking pan in the other.

"Now we know where the rats come from," said the young man, giving Ginny and Neville a reassuring smile.

"I'm sorry to say your escape plan won't bring you outside Hogsmeade," said the balding shopkeeper, pulling his nose. "There's a curfew, you know."

"Yeah, set foot outside the shop and a Death Eater mob will be here before you can say Marlin's pants," said the young man.

"We're not trying to escape," said Neville. "We just need a place to spend the night. We can't return to the castle until morning, they're looking for us..."

"Making trouble for the Death Eaters, eh?" Said the young man with a mischievous smile.

"Trouble for the Death Eaters are blessing for us," said the shopkeeper, examining Ginny. "You're Molly and Arthur's daughter, aren't you?"

Ginny nodded cautiously, not knowing whether it was a good or a bad thing.

The shopkeeper smiled a little. "That's clear. we knew you and your friends wouldn't just sit around."

"Who –"

"The Old- Timer will probably want to see them," the shopkeeper said to the younger man. "Show them the passage. I'll make a few arrangements to keep this passage hidden."

"Got it, Paps." The young man saluted and motioned for Ginny and Neville to follow him up the stairs. Ginny saw the shop owner pushing crater over the secret passage before the door closed behind her.

They entered the darkened Honeydukes. The ghostly light of street lamps penetrated through the front windows, bringing to life the shadows of shelves and dusty candy boxes. The glass displays that Ginny remembered filled with candy were now empty. Now she realized that she had also seen the young man before; He was the boy who used to re- fill the candy displays when they so often emptied.

Ginny had seen the shop empty many times before, especially when she and Harry had used the passage to visit Hogsmeade, but the emptiness of that night was different. It was a haunted emptiness, full of solitude and grief. She hadn't imagined that outside of Hogwarts there was someone who suffered from the Death Eaters' hand as much as she and the other students did.

"Where are you taking us?" She asked the young man, who led them to the back the store.

"Like dad said – to see the Old- Timer," he replied, stopping to feel a shelf full of chocolate frogs in various fillings. "I'll walk you there. The Old- Timer's already cursed someone who appeared in his kitchen in the middle of the night just to ask if he had a few extra candles for the night watch..."

The wall behind the shelf moved aside as if it were made of cardboard. Behind it was a dark, very narrow passage. The young man led Ginny and Neville inside.

"What night watch?" Asked Ginny as they walked in single- file in the dark, the light at the end of the young man's wand illuminating nothing but the narrow, stained walls that brushed their shoulders as they walked. Her voice echoed off the walls and hit her with a confusing intensity.

"Well, I'm not supposed to talk about it, but ..." He sounded very excited to talk about it. "When the Death Eaters came that night and acted as if everything belonged to them, we fought back. Eventually they caught us and threw us back into the houses, and some of our good people went to Azkaban. But we didn't give up, mind you, and we didn't stop making trouble ever since. Hogsmeade is full of secret passages, much like Hogwarts, you know, and we use them all the time to visit each other without the Death Munchers' being any wiser. We work with the Order, you know. What Order, you ask? –"

"We know the Order," said Ginny, feeling tremendous hope rise in her at mention of the Order. But the young man (who they later found out was called Archie) told them about it anyway.

He spoke of Hogsmeade's uprising, about the secret operations, and about their people who had found themselves "In Azkaban or in the grave," as he put it. All the while the slope of the floor began to deepen, until it was steep and slippery, tilted downward, so narrow that they had to crab- walk.

After the long walk through the dank passage, filled with the smell of mold, the filthy kitchen they had entered was a relief for all three.

"Wait here while I call our Old- Timer – "

Just as Archie spoke a harsh friction sound was heard and before Ginny realized what was happening, she was trapped in the rough folds of an unusually heavy net.

Quick footfalls were heard outside the kitchen, and then a bright light hit the eyes of the three as a panting figure appeared in the doorway,

"Damn you and your traps, old man!" Archie hissed besides Ginny. "Not that I'm complaining, love, but you're lying on my arm..."

"Every other night I'd make sure you were really good- for- nothing Archie," said the old man standing in the kitchen doorway. He was a very thin and tall man, slumped with age, who wore stained every- day clothes. He caught his breath quickly, and was now shifting the light of his wand over the three and studying them. "But I believe that you are indeed stupid enough to fall into the same trap three times, so there's no need for that. Who's it with you?"

This time Ginny introduced herself and Neville. The person called the Old- Timer knelt before them, noting bother to release them. Up close, Ginny noticed that a bald spot was nestled int the middle of a tangle of gray hair, and that a shaggy gray beard in the shape of a shovel framed his long, serious face. His cheek sand his eyes were sunken, and the light of the wand cast heavy shadows over them; From the shadows a pair of electric-blue eyes flashed at her, reveling that was much more to that simple man then met the eye.

"Weasley, eh?" He said, examining her openly. "Yeah, you have the red hair and your mother's cheeky look. Can't say the same thing about you, Longbottom, but I've heard things about you."

Then he vanished the net with a wave of a wand.

"Well, what do you want?" He asked them as they got to their feet. "If you want me to send you home, it's not going to happen. The Death Eaters are watching the Floo – "

"We don't want to go home," Ginny defied, annoyed by his tone after the hellish night she's had. "We're hiding from the Death Eaters, only until the morning."

"Dad said you'd like to see them," Archie added. "They have a secret passage to the castle – "

"Great," the old man said bitterly, turning his back. "I have one, too."

"Wait – " Ginny exclaimed as he left the kitchen. When he didn't stop she hurried after him, and found herself behind the counter of a dark inn, its door and windows shuttered. She felt confused by her new position. "Wait – where does your passage lead?"

"It doesn't matter," said the old man, beginning to climb up the stairs. "Like I said, I'm not going to risk my hide to help some crying kids get home – "

Ginny crossed the distance to the bottom of the stairs and stopped. "In a few hours the Ministry will come to collect all muggle- borns from Hogwarts."

The old man stopped, but didn't turn to face her.

"There are dozens of children. And you know what they'll do to them – breaking their wands would be the least they would go through."

"What do you expect me to do?" Said the Old- Timer, still with his back to her. "That I'll take all of them in? We'll all starve to death after two days. Not to mention that the Death Eaters are drinking here every day, and they're also doing searches – "

"Just a few children. Only until the Order finds a solution – "

"The Order won't find a solution," the Old- Timer said in a final tone. "Hell, your Order is even more powerless than you. It's falling apart without Dumbledore, don't you see? As if it was so useful even when he was alive..."

"It's easy to talk when you're sitting on the sidelines and not doing anything." Ginny was starting to get angry.

The old man gave such a dry, bitter laugh that Ginny felt it in her throat.

"When you'll be as old as me you could also look on as the world goes to hell. When I was young I also loved to do things, to pretend I could actually influence something. You'll grow out of it, don't worry."

He climbed the rest of the way up with a limp as he said, "You can find a place to sleep here, and in the morning I'll show you the passage you want to see so badly. But take my advice – it's never good to push your nose into other people's business."

 


	12. Paint the Roses Red

_“A large rose tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white: but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red."_

The Old- Timer kept his word. Ginny and Neville slept in one of the damp tavern rooms that hadn't been used for a long time, and early in the morning, that dawned gray and rainy, he took them to a small furnished lounge on the second floor. It contained a single armchair, one cabinet, a table and an empty fireplace. There were no decorations or paintings except one portrait of a blond girl hanging over the fireplace, watching them with childish curiosity.

Neville peered out of the lonely curtained window onto the wet street that was lit in a meager light. "We're at the Hog's- Head," he reported in surprise.

"Very sharp, boy," the old man said, suddenly assuming the shape of the barman who had watched the DA members suspiciously at their first meeting, which had taken place at the very same inn. "This is a piece of information you should keep to yourself."

"Of course," said Neville, moving away from the window. "We're on your side, sir, you don't have to – "

The old man snorted. "Don't be so sure, boy."

He turned to the girl in the portrait. "Let's get these two out of here, shall we?"

The girl smiled and clapped her hands with a childish enthusiasm that made even the old man smile for a moment, and then the portrait moved on its axis, revealing another narrow passage.

"Come on," were the old man's only words to them.

"Are you sure you couldn't – ?"

"No," he interrupted Neville sharply and gestured to the doorway. "Hurry, before I change my mind and call the Death Eaters."

Ginny knew he would never do that, but still she climbed after Neville on the mantelpiece without complaints. He almost stepped on a pocket mirror that lay there, and the Old Timer grabbed it and stuffed it in his pocket before he could even apologize.

The portrait closed behind them. They walked to the light of Ginny's wand for a while, wondering where the passage would bring them.

"Do you think he would've really called the Death Eaters?" Neville asked.

"No," Ginny said, thinking about the pocket mirror. She has seen something like that before. "He wouldn't have done that."

  
The girls in Ginny's dorm noticed that she hadn't returned that night, but with one look at Ginny's face, Betty motioned them all not to ask questions. Ginny knew she could count on her to keep her secret.

Dean and Seamus, on the other hand, demanded to know all the details. Ginny supposed she owed it to Seamus at least, because he was the last to know about the event that was going to take place that day; She was glad to see that it was more important to him to find a solution to the problem than to complain that no one had told him, and she appreciated him for it more than he ever knew.

They spent the day warning muggle- borns about what was going to happen. Classes were just restless breaks for Ginny, in which she was so engrossed in thoughts about the muggle- borns she had to find that she hardly noticed what was going on, even when in DADA Carrow demonstrated especially violent curses on her classmates.

As more students became aware of what was going to happen, the task of keeping the matter a secret got more difficult. By lunch Ginny was clearly aware of dozens of frightened, questioning looks as she passed through the corridor. They were afraid, they wanted to know when it would be time to slip into the secret meeting place, where they would be led through the secret passage to the temporary security of the Honeydukes. She began to fear that other students were getting suspicious.

She took a second year to the doorstep of an empty classroom on the way to Ancient Runes with the intention of warning him, but decided to give up and leave him confused when she saw a pair of fifth years from Ravenclaw talking to a Death Eaters as they were glancing at her. She hurried out of sight, trying to convince herself that the couple had responded naively to a direct question from the Death Eater, and that they wouldn't have thought of giving her up if they had known anything about her plan.

Lunch was over, and it seemed that nothing extraordinary was about to happen. For all the inhabitants of the castle it was just another gray, bitter autumn day in a golden cage, but Ginny couldn't stop glancing at the bolted main door, anxiously waiting to see it open. She tried to catch McGonagall's eye at breakfast and lunch and during class with her, but it seemed that her head of house was deliberately ignoring her, and when she tried to talk to her at the end of the lesson she made it clear that she wasn't going to speak to her when the bored Death Eater that observed the class was in the room. She walked out of the classroom in a defeated step, feeling, once again, that she was left to deal with the threat alone.

Her friends weren't very helpful either. Neville returned to his irritating silences while Seamus kept talking about the secret operation until Ginny was worried that someone must have heard him. Dean, like McGonagall, pretended that nothing was happening, and Ginny wondered if he was doing it in order to sooth his fears or out of stupidity.

"We have to do it _now_ ," Seamus urged her as they walked together between the afternoon classes.

"We have to wait," she insisted in a whisper, though she wanted very much to end this whole thing. "Otherwise people would suspect."

"Let them suspect. All our work will go down the drain if our visitors catch us with our pants down. It could happen any minute – "

"When classes are over," she said, and the decision helped her relax her nerves.

Seamus shrugged defeatedly before leaving. "Just don't say I didn't warn you."

 _"Just don't say I didn't warn you..."_ The words rang in Ginny's head throughout Charms, and she gnawed at the tip of her lower lip until she tasted blood in her mouth. Her gaze was drawn unceasingly to the door. What if they decide to come in the middle of class? Of course this is what they would, this was the best way for them... She should have listened to Seamus – she should have acted before –

The bell rang and she suddenly remembered to breathe. She was the first to leave the classroom, under the puzzled and contemptuous looks of the other students, and hurried to find familiar faces in the corridors.

She nodded approvingly to the wide- eyed muggle- borns who passed her and touched Dean's arm as he walked by with Seamus and Neville trailing after them. He nodded firmly at her and the three dispersed to convey the message.

Rumor spread like wildfire. Wherever she went, she saw students walking determinedly in a very definite direction. To her horror, it seemed she wasn't the only one who noticed it.

"Is there something going on today?" She heard a sixth year from Hufflepuff ask his friend as she strode past them.

"I don't know. It looks like everyone is hurrying somewhere..."

She turned down the corridor to get away from their voices, and suddenly she realized she was sweating. It wasn't according to plan – no one was supposed to get suspicious...

Finally she turned toward the meeting spot, having managed to squeeze in some last-minute warnings. She was surprised to discover that the corridors were suspiciously empty as she passed by – the students were few and the Death Eaters weren't seen at all. This made her feel uneasy. But the explanation came as she passed the main stairway; Many students huddled on the steps and around the Entrance Hall, watching a group of Death Eaters scurrying around in pursuit of a group of little golden snigots that were flying around while playing with the little cushions that were used for practice in Charms. The cushions got ripped apart during tiny golden birds' game, scattering white feathers on the floor and on the heads of the breathless Death Eaters. A lonely feather rested on Professor Carrow's, who was standing by and screaming orders at the Death Eaters while the students tried to conceal their smiles.

With relief and thankfulness to the person who had decided to pull the prank, Ginny was quickly making her way to the meeting place.

The classroom that was chosen as a meeting place was full of students. Everyone fell silent and looked at her as she entered. The older students stood around and talked earnestly, and younger students huddled on chairs and in the corners of the room. Some girls have been crying. They were about twenty-five students, barely a quarter of the muggle- borns at school. Ginny's relief went sour with disappointment.

"Are these all we managed to warn?" She asked generally. Seamus and Neville nodded. Dean, seated on one of the tables, stared at his shoes in gloomy silence. Luna was busy comforting a second- year girl.

Dennis Creevey said, "I can go look for more if – "

"No, we can't waste any more time," Ginny said, thinking of the temporary distraction in the Entrance Hall. They divided into a few groups and planed to walk to the secret passage in intervals, in order not to create suspicion. Sometimes Ginny led the way and sometimes Neville, and all the while the smugglers and the smuggled sat in the deserted classroom in suspense while the day darkened outside the window and the night took its place. Ginny pondered distractedly, wondering who was brave or foolish enough to try and prank the Death Eaters, and why were they so lucky that he decided to do it at that fateful hour.

Neville returned from leading the group before the last, panting. "I almost got caught..."

"Death Eaters?"

"Slytherins. I don't know how much they've seen, but they looked suspicious..."

Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but Dean, suddenly awakened to life, said, "We need to hurry."

In the classroom were Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Luna, the Creevey brothers, and two fourth-year students from Gryffindor straining to look brave.

"I'll go," Ginny said, taking her wand from Neville.

"Are you sure?" He hesitated. "If you get caught... They've already have their eye on you..."

"Let's just say me and Lestrange have an agreement," Ginny said bitterly and left, leading the remaining muggle- borns.

They made their way to the statue of the hump-backed witch, not running into anyone. The corridors were sunk in the dark gloom of twilight, the torches still not lit. An owl called out from the forest, shaking the silence, accompanied by a cough from some portrait.

_"Dissendium!"_

The passage opened into darkness. The fourth years entered first, while the Creeveys said hurried goodbyes to Ginny.

"Thanks for everything, Gin –"

"Yeah, and we'll keep fighting, you can count on us – "

Ginny urged them in, and then she realized Dean was looking at her. His eyes were very bright, wide in the darkness, like as lamb on it's way to the slaughter. His adam's apple moved as he swallowed.

"What are you waiting for?" His frightened look made her uneasy.

"I don't want us to part like this," he said, taking her hands. "If I never see you again – "

"Don't be stupid, sure we'll see each other." She couldn't quite convince herself, though.

"For anything that might happen – " he said, kissing her hands. "I'm sorry."

Ginny hated his ability to give her one broken look and dissolve all her resentment.

"Me, too," she said, forgetting her previous claim that she had nothing to apologize for.

Dean smiled nervously. "So if we ever meet again... Do you think we could have a chance?"

_You know it would never work. We're just too much alike – and no one likes to look at himself in the mirror more than he has to. We should be with partners who make us better people, not worse._

"Maybe," she said, seeing Harry in the back of her mind. She pushed him toward the doorway. "Quick, someone's coming," she lied.

He smiled at her for the last time, a smile that was pleasant despite his tension, and entered the secret passage.

As she closed it behind him, she realized she was in fact hearing heavy footsteps coming closer. She thrust the wand into it's hiding place quickly and began to move away with a firm step. She didn't get far before a pair of Death Eaters blocked her way.

"Looky here," said one, a fat man with evil eyes. He moved toward her, and she retreated stiffly but confidently. "A little blood traitor strolling in the moonlight. Why aren't you downstairs, Weaslette, watching entertainment with all of your little friends?"

"We shouldn't be surprised that she's here when the rest of the school is downstairs," said an older Death Eater who appeared behind her with some Slytherin students. "It must have been part of some clever plan... What were you doing here, girl?"

"I'm just taking a walk," Ginny lied determinedly. "I wanted to be alone –"

"She's lying!" Declared a Slytherin student with a mole's face. "We've seen Longbottom here a moment ago!"

"Seems you've been caught, Weaslette," the fat Death Eater mocked and tried to grab her. She avoided him only to be grabbed by the shoulder by the older Death Eater.

"Is it true what they say? That Weasley's squeak like weasels when you hurt them?" 

Ginny swallowed, intending to reply defiantly, but the older Death Eater said, "Snape can decide what to do with her."

"But –"

"It's not just some prank," the older man reprimanded. "She is associated with Potter and his friends, and her entire family is in Dumbledore's Order. She knows something – I can see it in her eyes. She has to be in a position to talk. Take her to Snape right away. I'll know if you won't do as I say."

The third Death Eater, who hadn't spoken until then, let out a growl. Ginny realized that he had gray, sunken eyes, bathed in madness. Fear gnawed at her while they both held her arms and led her away without a trace of gentleness. When she peered over her shoulder, she saw the older Death Eater looking behind the tapestries. Just before they passed the corner of the corridor, she saw him examining the statue of the hump- backed witch.

"Who does he think he is, anyway?" The fat Death Eater hissed on their way to the Headmaster's office. The fact that he had been sent to bring her to Snape didn't prevent him from enjoying some torture any way, and as they walked he burned her skin with the tip of his wand. His grip on her was so strong that she felt her muscles would tear as she tried to evade his abuse. "Giving us orders... He's Snape's pet, like everyone else around here. I'm telling you, mate, no one serves the Lord faithfully like we do these days."

To Ginny's relief, the fat man lost interest in abusing her halfway through the walk, and soon they arrived at the gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office.

"You know the password?" The fat man asked the mad Death Eater, who didn't respond.

"Damnit... Let us in!" The fat man kicked the statue, which didn't offer him a cleared respond than the madman.

He pushed Ginny to the floor and began cursing as she tried to get up. He kicked her thigh and she fell with a groan of pain. She stayed down.

Suddenly she heard voices, crawling over the floor, approaching her from an unclear direction.

"...On your head be it, Snape. You know the Lord will not be pleased if – "

"I am aware of the Lord's wishes, Ludwick," Snape's greasy voice could be heard just behind the statue. "There are reasons why _I_ have been chosen to supervise this school. So please, keep your mistrust to yourself."

The statue moved and revealed a wide passage leading to a spiral staircase. Ginny raised her gaze and discovered Snape and two other men looming over her, all three looking at her as if she were a particularly disgusting piece of dirt on the floor.

"What is the meaning of this?" Snape, who wore a particularly expensive black robe, demanded.

The fat man opened his mouth to explain, but Snape interrupted him, "This girl is nothing but trouble, gentlemen. Please excuse me for not escorting to the gates, I must deal with her."

"Of course," said the older of the two, who had a long silver beard and big ears sticking out under his scarlet cap. "We'll go back to the office to forward your request – "

"Which won't be taken into account, of course," the second wizard interrupted, a man with an oily black mustache and unpleasant eyes. "The mudbloods at Hogwarts would receive the same treatment as the mudbloods outside Hogwarts. I don't know what you're playing with here, Snape, but you would consider yourself lucky if the Lord would let this mercifulness go unpunished."

"I'll take that into account, Ludwick," Snape said coldly and signaled the fat Death Eater and the madman. "Escort these gentlemen to the gates safely."

The fat man nodded surreptitiously, as if he hadn't been bad- mouthing Snape a few moments ago, and the madman just walked away without any particular interest. Snape watched them walk away and then turned to Ginny, who was trying to get up from the floor until a shapeless force shoved her down hard. Snape was standing over her, his wand drawn.

"What have you done this time, you useless girl?"

"Nothing."

"Lying, as always," Snape determined.

"Only you would know, sir," Ginny hissed defiantly, squinting up at him between the hairs that fell on her face. "You're the biggest liar of all."

She expected pain, or razor-sharp words as a replay, but to her surprise he just laughed. She couldn't remember ever hearing him laugh. It was a high- pitched, bitter, joyless sound, like naked tree branches scratching the window at night.

"If that is what you think," he said as the laughter died out. "You're exactly where you should be. Be gone, now, before I change my mind and let some of our friends have their fun with you."

She got up, her knees sliding against the marble floor, and walked away with a firm step, denying herself the urge to run.


	13. The Mad Hatter

_“'It's always six o'clock now.'"_

_Dearest Miss Weasley,_

_I'm delighted to invite you to tea at my office on Sunday afternoon. I hope you could come, in the sake of our old friendship._

_Hope you are well and looking forward to see you,_

_Professor H. Slughorn_.

  
The letter was remarkably concise compared to Slughorn, but Ginny knew it had come from him. The first thing she did when she recived it was to compare it to the note she had received in the infirmary. She was disappointed but not surprised to find that there wasn't a faint resemblance between the handwriting in the two notes.

December arrived in a painfully slow, bringing with it icy winds and frost that clung to the castle windows like gleaming cobwebs. Gray clouds came from the north and covered the sky day and night like an impenetrable pearl, always threatening to snow.

Ginny hadn't received any further signs since the day of the escape, but the more she didn't hear from him, the identity of her mysterious beneficiary made her more curious. At first she suspected McGonagall, but after a brief thought she had come to the conclusion that if her head of house wanted helping her, she would have talked to her – riddles and clues weren't like her. Then she suspected Slughorn, but his letter said otherwise, except that the old potions Profesoor was so terrified of the Death Eaters that he wouldn't have dared to pull a hoax like the one that helped the muggle- borns escape that day.

After disqualifying all the other teachers, she found herself thinking about Snape. But she dismissed the thought almost immediately. She knew that Snape had helped Harry many times before, in spite of their fierce hatred for each other, and that Dumbledore had trusted him, but that was before he had turned his skin and robbed the old Headmaster of his life.

No – Snape was and always has been on Voldemort's side, no matter what he made the Order think. A true member of the Order wouldn't have killed Dumbledore. Whatever had been the reason he had caused the Ministry to leave the muggle- borns who had remained at Hogwarts alone, he was a Death Eater, a traitor, and he couldn't be Ginny's beneficiary. It had to be someone else.

"Did you get it, too?"

Ginny looked up from Slughorn's note and realized that Neville was sitting down next to her, holding a note similar to hers. "I thought he wouldn't be having anymore Slugclub meetings, now that the Death Eaters had forbidden it."

"I don't think it's a club meeting," Ginny said, "Look at these notes – he used to send fancy invitations. I think he just wants some company."

Neville was going to say something else, but at that moment the evening meeting began.

There weren't many speakers that evening, and Ginny noticed that the common room was emptier than ever. Even after the escape of the ten students who had fled to Hogsmeade (a mysterious disappearance that no one had dared to ask about, and Ginny was relived about that), Gryffindor still had many students left; But recently students began to skip the evening meetings. Even those who arrived sometimes preferred to sit in the corners and talk quietly with their friends instead of listen to the painful storys. It began to bother Ginny.

"Did you hear anything from... _Them_?" Neville asked in a whisper as a muggle-born from Ginny's year ended his story of the humiliation Carrow had but him through during Muggle Studies. Ginny didn't answer immediately, because the story of the extreme case left behind a tense silence.

Only when one of the girls turned to comfort him and students began calling encouraging and supportive calls, she whispered back, "I haven't heard anything from Dean, if that's what you're asking."

Neville nodded heavily. After a few more minutes he added, "But... That's a good sign, isn't it?"

"I guess so." Ginny wanted to sneak into Honeydukes to make sure that Archie and his father had seen Dean and all the rest of them to safety, but since she had been caught by the statue of the hump- backed witch she didn't dare approach the area, especially since the disappearance of the students had been discovered and the Death Eaters had become particularly cautious and suspicious of the students, Gryffindors in particular.

She knew they suspected her and Neville, but they couldn't prove it. She wondered why they weren't punishing them anyway. She didn't know which was worse – that Lestrange was the one who was preventing it to an end of some sick plan, or that it was Snape who was protecting them.

On Sunday afternoon she went with Neville to Slughorn's office. She had been feeling that ever since their fight in Honeydukes he was talking to her as usual again, but he still avoided looking at her face, and was always rubbing his hands together in a nervous gesture when they where together. It bothered her a bit – she had a feeling he didn't mean to say some of the things he had  said to her – but she was glad that at least he didn't bring up the things that were said again. She regretted being mean to him – Neville was one of her best friends – but more than that, she didn't want to acknowledge his deceleration of love for her.

Slughorn greeted them with an exaggerated enthusiasm. He was wearing a shiny satin house robe in gold and bronze, adorned with various ornaments, and underneath he was wearing black trousers and shiny shoes.

His office was in the same graceful disorder that had always characterized him, still full of vaguely elaborate instruments, but Ginny noticed a few things that didn't characterize the clean, neat Slughorn; A coat thrown on the back of an armchair, charcoal scraps on the carpet in front of the fireplace, an empty goblet on the desk. Ginny wondered if it was for the same reason that his skin was pale as a cream under his sparse gray stubble and that he had gotten very fat in the last few months.

In the center of the room was a small round table leaden with a tea tray and colorful sweets. Between the dishes lay a rolled-up Daily Prophet issue at which Neville gazed like a starving man would look at food. In front of the table, set for four people, sat Professor Trelawney, spreading out tarot cards carefully as if they were babies. She was dressed as always, in a shapeless and tasteless dress and in many scarves, necklaces, bracelets and rings.

She paid no attention to Ginny and Neville until Slughorn seated them at the table. Only then she looked up and blinked at them with dark, watery eyes that looked like insect eyes behind the lenses of her huge spectacles.

"Feel comfortable," Slughorn told them, and fell into the fourth chair like a piece of cake falling on the floor. "You know I always want my guest to feel at home..." He let out a nervous cough. "You already know Sybil – Professor Trelawney, that is..."

"It has indeed fallen on me to try and teach these two how to open their third eye," Trelawney claimed in a cloudy voice. "Alas, both have failed utterly."

Ginny wanted to give a cheeky reply to Trelawney's, but held back. She remembered how Ron and Harry used to imitate her and took a sip of tea to hide her smile.

_"Ooh, open your third eye!" Ron mimicked mockingly and then snorted. "Yeah, like I want an ugly third eye in the middle of my face. I'm telling you, Harry, I would've rather invested in the two eyes I've already got instead of trying to open a third one – did you see size of her glasses?"_

Everyone around laughed then. Even Hermione couldn't remain indifferent to that joke. Now Ginny felt a sharp ping of longing for the three of them.

Slughorn said, "Indeed, the art of Divination requires great skill – "

"Talent, Horace, it's all about natural talent," Trelawney said and squinted at Neville. "Of course, you also need a basic ability to concentrate in class and to keep the proper objects intact..."

Neville almost choked on a biscuit and blushed to the roots of his hair. He picked up the paper and began going through it, avoiding Trelawney's gaze.

"Christmas is coming," Slughorn declared sadly between chewing one biscuit to another. He seemed to think that if he ate fast enough he would be saved from some mysterious peril. "Sadly, I haven't had the time to shop..."

"I'm sure your friends will understand, Professor," said Ginny somewhat coldly, unable to comprehend Slughorn's attempts to talk about mundane things and avoid reality.

Neville touched her arm, drawing her attention to the newspaper's front page. It had been printed almost a month before. But Ginny didn't care about the date; Two large photographs on the front page fascinated her completely. Above them was printed in bold black letters:

_Beware! Dangerous and Most Wanted By The Ministry of Magic_

Hermione and Harry watched her from the photographs, which were obviously out of date. They were taken sometime when they were at Hogwarts, in their fifth or sixth year. They both looked at the camera with bored, indifferent expressions.

Neville watched her leaf through the paper in search for another ad that might offer a reward on her brother's head as well. She felt a huge relief when she could find no mention of Ron's name anywhere, knowing their family's cover was still intact.

"Oh yes, I was also shocked to find that two of my most talented students had become dangerous wanted criminals," Slughorn said sadly.

"How did you get this paper, Professor?" Neville asked as Ginny leafed through the articles and ads, eagerly swallowing every scrap of information about the world outside Hogwarts.

Slughorn looked a little embarrassed. "Professor Lestrange left it behind when he visited my office..."

Ginny tensed at the name and lifted her eyes from the newspaper. "What was he doing here?"

"Professor Lestrange used to be my student," Slughorn said reluctantly. "In fact... Well, he was one of the shining stars of the Slug Club back then... But that was before he turned out to be a supporter of He- Who- Must- Not- Be- Named, of course... "

The thought that Lestrange used to be in Slughorn's club, in which Ginny was a member, made her feel sick.

"There's no way to know what secrets a man's heart holds, Horace. You couldn't have known," Trelawney said. "Of course, if you had access to the Third Eye, you could have explored Mr. Lestrange's future and – "

"Of course, it could have been very helpful," Slughorn interrupted her with uncharacteristic bitterness. Trelawney was taken aback by his reaction. "But there's no point in talking about what has been, is it?"

"Actually..."

Ginny ignored the heated discussion that developed between the two teachers about Divination and fortune telling. She leafed through the paper for information about the war going on outside Hogwarts, but was annoyed to find that it looked like nothing special was happening.

"The Ministry has control over the Prophet," Neville explained over her shoulder. "They probably want to make everything look normal, so people won't revolt..."

The Professor's discussion ended in thunderous silence, which the Potions teacher broke after a few minutes, striking a conversation about the Potions syllabus. Ginny found the conversation incredibly boring, and peaked at the paper at every opportunity.

"What was Lestrange look for here, anyway?" Neville suddenly raised the subject.

Ginny decided that she didn't want to take part in that conversation and sank into the paper, but she couldn't not hear Slughorn's hesitant reply: "Well... I was forbidden to hold club meetings – you know that, obviously... I asked to meet with the Professor to try and convince him to allow me to renew the meetings, in memory of the days when he was a member of the club... And, well, you could say that he agreed."

"You could say?" Neville repeated suspiciously.

Slughorn tapped on his teacup nervously, his small eyes darting around. He seemed to be getting hot. "He said it was an excellent idea, that he was going to renew the club meetings and even organize them himself... Only that he would decide which students would be invited to these... These exclusive events, he called the ..." The Potions teacher began to get angry, an emotion that made him look like a big but not particularly threatening blow-fish. "And that the club would get a new name... 'A less ridiculous name,' he said... Would you believe it? My name? Ridiculous? He didn't use to think it was ridiculous when he was a member!"

Slughorn's anger cooled as quickly as it had flared. The red color on his neck paled rapidly. He put down his cup with a sigh and looked particularly old and sad. "Not that I have much of a choice..."

There was a despondent silence after these words. Ginny was already thinking about excuses she could make to end the meeting and slip away from this sad tea party, when Trelawney gave a shriek. Ginny almost reached for her wand, ready to face Death Eaters or any other danger, and rolled her eyes when she discovered that Trelawney screamed at the cards that she had opened.

" _Death!_ " She chirped, eyes wide. It wasn't clear to Ginny whether she was frightened or just overwhelmed.

"Death?" Neville asked anxiously.

"The Death Card!" Trelawney licked her lips in suspense and opened more cards as she mumbled to herself. The other three watched her in confusion until she let out another cry and startled them. "But I do not understand..." Ginny heard her muttering into her shawls. "I do not understand..."

"What don't you understand?" Ginny asked carefully, fearing that the shabby fortune-teller would erupt at any moment.

"The Death Card symbolizes change, a new path..." Ginny had never heard her teacher's voice so clear as she ran her fingers over the cards eagerly. "But what kind of change? What path? For better or for worse? This is one of the Fool's first lessons, the most basic. He knows that death is always around him, and that someday it will catch up wit him. Therefore he must act, and not spend his time idly. He mustn't collect more addictions, habits and fears that would delay him in his way. His time is short, and his mission is clear... Change, change... The card symbolizes a change in Hogwarts... But what kind of change, and in favor of whom? The cards are very vague..."

She sank into mumbling and card- turning, leaving the other three confused.

Ginny and Neville left shortly afterwards, but Ginny couldn't stop thinking about Trelawney's words. Neville also looked troubled, and she had the feeling that he was thinking of something similar to her.

 _Death is always around him..._ The fortune teller's voice whispered in her ear. She said he shouldn't let fears stand in his way...

A balloon swelled in Ginny's chest, and she suspected it was filled with an emotion she hadn't felt for a very long time. Hope. She had a feeling that she knew what change the cards were speaking of.

_His time is short, and his mission is clear..._

 


	14. A Raven and a Writing Desk

 

_“'Why is a raven like a writing desk?'"_

 

"Christmas," Lestrange began, "Is a holiday that commemorates the enslavement of the wizards by the un- magical folk."

Ginny wasn't listen to him that day in the middle of December. She knew what her fate would be if she were caught daydreaming in History of Magic, but after more than a week of almost total sleeplessness, she could no longer control it.

The thin jet of icy wind that penetrated through a slit in the window frame above her head had a calming effect on her. She found herself going back in her imagination to her night- time wanderings around the castle with Neville, Seamus and Luna, to the spraying of the rebellious slogans on the walls and to the pranks they pulled on the Death Eaters under the cover of darkness. The image of the slogan they had sprayed on the castle's front door that night and around it a gathering of students and teachers floated in her mind:

_Dumbledore's Army Rules_

_Death Eaters Suck_

The Carrows' fury at the slogan was worth the tremendous risk of nightly operation. That, and the smiles it put on the faces of many of the students – that is, of those who didn't frown or look frightened. But Sanpe's coolness at the sight and the grin on Lestrange's face continued to feed the flame of vengeance and rage that still burned in Ginny's heart.

She would have gone on dreaming, had it hadn't been for the small and troubled voice Luna had made beside her, and the trembling of excitement and surprise that passed through the room.

Lestrange raised his hand silently and the buzzing stopped immediately. He studied the class with his mean eyes, and Ginny felt nothing but cold emptiness as his eyes lingered on her for a moment.

"Don't expect any fancy trees and silly hymns at this ball," he said. "As I said, this muggle holiday marks the dark age when the un-magical stopped giving the wizards the respect and love they deserved, and then proceeded to spit on their honor and persecute them. As a result of the barbaric and consuming religion they imposed on the world, the wizarding holidays were forgotten and abandoned. This year we will celebrate Yule as it had been celebrated by the wizards of old, when the full moon is reflected on the frozen lakes, and all living beings brace themselves in the face of winter."

The bell in the east tower rang. No one stirred.

"The ball will be accompanied by all the holiday customs that most of us have long forgotten, or have never known," Lestrange continued, collecting his belongings lazily. "But for the sake of many of us who insist on loving the un-magical customs that have been embedded in our society, the staff decided to hold the celebrations in a somewhat similar format to the traditional Christmas ball. Hurry and find your partners, children – " His eyes flashed toward Ginny, "I know who I'm going to ask."

  
That night there was a strange atmosphere in the Gryffindor common room. Ginny was sitting with Seamus in the corner, both of them waiting for the daily forum to start. But it looked like no one was going to start talking soon. Everyone seemed to be busy with something else – homework, reading, or plain personal conversations. All around chatter about the ball could be heard.

"Can you believe that?" She said to Seamus, watching Romilda Vane lecture her friends enthusiastically as she demonstrated hair styles. "Did they forget it's a Death Eater's Ball?"

Seamus shrugged. "It's exhausting to fight all the time, Gin. They want to relax a bit."

"Relax? How can anyone – "

"It's hard to fight nonstop. And also..." Seamus' expression was painful. "Well, that's pretty obvious, in'it? Most of them aren't really resisting anymore, they just... Except it."

"But that's exactly what the Death Eaters want!"

"They probably know that," Seamus said with a sad smile. Ginny was startled for a moment; She had never seen him look so serious and defeated. "But... Well, it doesn't matter to them anymore. You wouldn't have wanted to stop fighting for a moment, just let it be?"

Of course she wanted to. But she wasn't allowed to think such thoughts.

She gave him a look. "Are you also considering giving up?"

He laughed, and the intense seriousness shattered. "Oh, No. I know what you'll do to my sorry arse if I'll only think about it."

She strained a smile. She couldn't laugh, because she felt a core of painful and bitter reality under the joke, and she had never felt so alone in her struggle. What was the hope that their resistance gave to the students worth if Seamus no longer truly believed in their cause?

Neville burst through the portrait hole, panting, just as the clock rang for curfew. He noticed Ginny and Seamus and approached them with a smile on his face.

"Look what I've got." He pulled out a crumbling book from the folds of his robe and showed it to them surreptitiously. "Madame Finch helped me get it, can you believe that? So we can know what they're planning for Yule, and maybe we'll be able to disrupt their plans..." He smiled at them both enthusiastically, but his smile faded at the sight of their serious expressions. "That's a good idea, isn't it?"

"It's a great idea, Neville," Seamus said with a real but sad smile.

"Yeah, it's a wonderful idea. Well done," Ginny said, getting up. "I'm going upstairs."

She headed for the stairs, but Neville stopped her before she started up.

"Hey, uh," he began quietly, making sure no one was listening. "We're still going to spray slogans in Carrow's classroom tonight, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good..." Suddenly Neville looked a bit embarrassed. He looked at his shoes, a childish habit he had abandoned, but would occasionally return to. "About this ball... Maybe we should go there together – you know, so they won't suspect us when we hang around there together... To ruin their plans, you know... I mean, I suppose you could go with Seamus, but he can find someone else from DA and I... Ah, I just thought it would be a good idea, so as not to attract attention, so..."

"Alright, Neville," she said, interrupting his nervous murmuring. He was the last person she expected that would take the puppet- ball seriously. "You don't have to be so stressed. It's not a real ball. Except that I've already been asked."

Neville looked shocked. "Really? Who...?"

"Lestrange."

Neville's shock turned into a frown. "Lestrange? But –"

"He hasn't said anything to me yet, but I know what he's going to do. And it's not like I can refuse him. He enjoys torturing me."

Some of the color in Neville's face had turned pale. He was speechless.

"See you later," she said and went up to her room. She preferred to spare him the need to produce a comforting response, one which she didn't need at all.

She was not surprised to find Betty sitting in their rooms in her pajamas while all the other girls were down in the common room. She felt a strong urge to be alone sometimes, Ginny knew, ever since what had happened.

"You've got a gift," she told her as she came in, sitting on the bed with a book in her lap. She had a strange look on her face.

Ginny wasn't surprised by the nature of her gift. There was a blood-red dress spread on her bed. It looked brand new, and came along with a silk collar- like ribbon with a red gem and some golden hair pins.

She grabbed the hem of her dress and threw it on the floor with hatred. The pins scattered all over, and an envelope fell onto the carpet. She studied it for a moment, as if it were a nasty stain on the carpet, and finally picked it up and almost tore it open. After reading the note inside it once, the fury turned into confusion.

"Who is it from?" Betty asked her uneasily. "Someone asked you to the ball?"

"Yeah," Ginny replied, her eyes on the note. "Snape."

 

It felt like an eternity had passed from the day she received the invitation to the ball to the day it took place. The internalization that she was about to enter the Great Hall on Snape's arm had already become a part of her, like a disgusting and irreconcilable tumor – a clear and final fact.

Most of all she wanted to know why he had done it, and why was she saved from Lestrange. She watched the two of them whenever she had a chance, in classes or in the Great Hall. Nothing seemed to have changed in the dynamic between either of them and her; Snape still ignored her completely.

She had shared her confusion with her friends several times, but they had no answers for her. Seamus was horrified by the idea, Neville was trapped somewhere between disappointment and anger, and Luna only smiled encouragingly and shrugged, saying nothing. In fact, she hardly said a word about anything at all.

On the evening of the ball Ginny put on the red dress reluctantly. She refused her roommates' suggestions to do her hair for her, and gave the silk collar to another girl who had been eyeing it greedily. She wasn't going to do any more than she had to for Snape's satisfaction.

Attendance at the ball was mandatory, but Betty wasn't going. Ginny sat beside her on the bed while the rest of the girls, who had given up on her, stood in line behind the mirror to check their appearance before leaving.

"I don't have a dress, anyway," she gave Ginny her lame excuse. "They'd be mad if I came in t-shirt and jeans..."

"It's better than to ignore them. Betty, maybe before all they could do was make you write lines or clean night- pots. Today – "

"I know what they can do to me," Betty said bravely, but her voice trembled slightly. "I know. But if you can resist, so can I."

Ginny wanted to tell her that she knew how to fight, that she had more experience, that she was simply stronger. But she realized that these were all just cheap excuses.

She hugged her before she left and told her to take care of herself.

"You take care of yourself," Betty replied. Ginny was the last one to leave, giving her old friend one last encouraging half- smile.

As she descended the stairs to the common room she felt a bit like a knight about to fight a dragon – tense, calculated, and spiced with a healthy pinch of fear of her enemy.

Neville waited for her in the common room, wearing a dark blue dress- robe. It fitted him very well, but for some reason he looked like a man wearing a costume. He kept rubbing his hands together nervously.

"Where's Seamus?" She asked him.

"He's going with Hannah Abbott," he replied, and she felt that he was studying her. "I know you have a date, but... Can I accompany you downstairs?"

"I'm sure Snape isn't going to be jealous," she said and motioned him to come, deliberately ignoring the awkward way he began to offer her his arm. She couldn't deal with that side of Neville at that moment – she needed him sharp and focused.

"Remember how we went to the ball together in fourth year?" He said to her as they walked.

"I remember." Everything was much simpler then – no Harry, no Death Eaters, no Voldemort. "It was so much fun. I was the only one from my year that was invited, I felt so grown up."

Hermione went with Victor Krum, and Ron had sat in the corner ignoring his date so he could spend the evening sulking. Harry had sat there with him, troubled with thoughts, and Ginny had been quite pleased that she had decided to go with Neville instead of waiting for him to ask her.

"Yeah... It was great."

The castle looked empty without the traditional Christmas decorations. There were no trees or mistletoes, no sparkling lights or holiday carols from the suits of armor. The corridors were as gray as ever, the armor suits dusty and still, and even the people in the paintings weren't celebrating. The fat woman sat gloomily in her frame, without her friend Violet.

The students gathered in front of the Great Hall closed doors. Waves of excitement were moving over the crowd as they waited for them to open. Ginny felt good about her simple appearance in compered to other flashy girls, like a martyr savoring his pain.

After a short time of tense anticipation, a young Slytherin walked over to Ginny.

"The Headmaster requires you to join him," he said in boredom.

Ginny glanced at Neville. He seemed more concerned than her about the situation. She remembered how he used to be afraid of Snape when he was younger, and wondered how much of that uncontrollable fear he still owned in adulthood.

"Ready?" She said to him.

He nodded. "And you?"

She nodded.

The boy led her to the staff room, which was full of amazingly colorful people. It was strange to see all these Death Eaters in fine dress- robes instead of their black robes and masks. The original staff members where gathered in one corner, elegantly dressed but very uncomfortable, like a bunch of clowns in training; Especially Professor Slughorn, who had chosen a purple and gold robe that didn't suit him at all.

Near them stood Professor McGonagall, her arms crossed defiantly over her chest, before Snape and Lestrange. The three of them looked at Ginny as she was brought in front of them, and a flush of rage spread across the Transfiguration teacher's face.

"I will say it again, Severus," she said to Snape. "Even though you are the Headmaster of this school now, I implore you not to allow such lasciviousness here!"

"You forget that on Yule we live according to our ancient ways," Lestrange replied. "And according to the ancient ways a young woman who has already received her lunar blood is a woman in every way, student or not. The meaningless age determined by our Ministry for adulthood is influenced by muggle culture and the inexplicable laws of the un- magical."

McGonagall ignored him, continuing to talk to Snape, "Will you allow this to happen?"

"Yes," He answered coldly, looking straight into her face. "These are the Dark Lord's orders."

He didn't even bother to look at Ginny from the moment she arrived, as if she were nothing more than a speck of dust on the floor. She wasn't complaining about that, but she couldn't help but wonder why he'd ordered her there if not to torture her.

"And there's my date," Lestrange said suddenly, and Ginny turned to see who had entered.

It was a slim, tall girl in a simple black dress. Her white skin seemed to glow against the dark fabric in an almost supernatural hue. Around her white neck was a diamond necklace, sparkling like frozen tears, and her hair was decorated with pearls. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes crystle- blue like the diamonds on her neck, yet they had no spark in them. She moved as if she was floating, her face blank from emotion. People moved to let her pass, as if she were something terrible and divine.

When she saw Ginny she awakened from her daydream and smiled at her, a sad smile that was maybe supposed to be encouraging. It only made her feel far worse.

Lestrange came over and took Luna's pale arm in front of Ginny's face.

"Right on time," he said, looking at Ginny's friend with satisfaction, as if she were a meaningless trophy he had obtained without even trying. "It's time to open the ball. Severus?"

Snape gestured to Ginny to hold his arm. At first she didn't notice the gesture, because she was still so shocked by Luna's new condition, but finally held it reluctantly. Snape lead her to the door, keeping his distance from her, as if she was disgusting to him. The Death Eater Professors marched behind him, followed by the Death Eaters. Some of them were accompanied by schoolgirls, who were either smiling or downcast. At the end of the grotesque parade the original Hogwarts staff walked like criminals walking to the gallows.

Luna was walking with Lestrange on the other side of Snape. Ginny peaked at her at every opportunity, finding that her friend was immersed in a perpetual dream that surrounded her like an invisible shield from what was happening around her. She wasn't happy, but she wasn't exactly sad either. She was just expressionless. Lestrange was speaking to her, but she seldomly answered; And when she did answer she spoke as though not to him, but to some imaginary friend or to herself, as if Lestrange didn't exist.

Ginny was grief stricken that her friend hadn't shared her problem with her, and furious with herself that she only now realized how distant and quiet she was in the past few days. She had been so absorbed in herself and in her own problems that she didn't even consider that something might be wrong with Luna. She wanted to talk to her, to console her, apologize for the neglect, but Sanpe separated them with a cold barrier that was more impenetrable than any wall.

 

 


	15. Beware the Jabberwocky

_"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!"_

In Entrance Hall, the students made way for them. Ginny felt like all eyes were on her as she moved toward the Great Hall door on Snape's arm, careful not to look back at anyone. She felt that the menacing and hateful looks were aimed at her, and not at the Death Eaters around her.

There was a strange silence in the Great Hall as the students and teachers entered in an unnatural silence. A bitter chill bit Ginny's bare arms and neck with sharp teeth, and a shiver ran through her.

There was no fire burning in the hall, and there was no light except that of the full moon fixed high in the sky, staring relentlessly through the hall's transparent ceiling, through wisps of thin clouds that caressed it mysteriously. The house tables and the banners were cleared, the high windows were covered with black curtains, and only the staff table at the end of the hall remained. The hall looked huge and empty. The only ornament was a huge Arcane Circle painted in the middle of the hall floor, full of curls and indistinct markings, and in its center was a silver bowl whose future use Ginny knew well.

The teachers walked past the circle to its far side, and the students were ordered to surround it. Ginny studied the shadows that surrounded her in the moonlight, but she couldn't find Neville or Seamus, or anyone else from DA. It looked as if the moonlight were shining only into the circle, and everything around it was left in eternal darkness.

Lestrange stepped into the circle. The moonlight fell on him like a spotlight, casting his long shadow in four different directions. Suddenly the marks of Azkaban that he hid so well during the day could be seen – the pain in his dark eyes and the feebleness of his body, a haunting sickness that would never let go of him completely. Still, he never appeared more impressive and powerful than at that moment.

Luna was left behind, edging towards Ginny as much as she could. Ginny took her hand at once, scarcely daring to look at her in Snape's presence. She felt her friend tighten her grip and give her a delicate, distant smile. She was afraid she would soon be torn from her, and the thought made her nauseous.

"Yule had been celebrated for tens of thousands of years by our ancestors," Lestrange began, his voice echoing in the empty silence. "The tradition is older than any memory. It is known that from the very beginning of time the purpose of the festival was to commemorate the power of nature, and the power of winter in particular – the season that strengthens, and seperates he weak from the strong. He who survives winter, it had been said, would live to see a new and better with the coming of spring.

"The wizarding society have just come to the end of a dark era under the ignorant rule of the un-magical. Those who have survived this era in the history of the world are undoubtedly the strongest and the best among the human species, and now they – we – shall live to enjoy the abundance and sweetness of the new age that is about to began.

"Today is Yule, and also the day we celebrate the end of the cultural winter that had frozen our society for hundreds of years. Can't you smell the sweet fragrance of the blossoming flowers of progress and abundance? The sap that flows from the trees of steadiness and power? The New Order that is coming into the world as we speak?"

There was a thunderous silence in the hall as his voice faded away. Ginny didn't know if it was a silence of admiration or fear.

"You have the opportunity to live in this spring," he went on, absorbing the reaction, which no doubt pleased him. "You have the right to refuse it, but then spring will not come to you, and you will continue to live in an eternal winter.

"I know that often you, the students, suffer from the ignorance of the bad lesions that live among you. You are constantly being kept under watch that at times it can be very unpleasant, I know, and other means such as curfew and the barring of the castle doors make your life difficult. But you must know that the staff is doing everything in its power to eradicate those students, and to maintain an enriching and protected environment for you. You can see that in Professor Carrow's Defense Against the Dark Arts class, where he is making an effort to teach you to how to defend yourself against those who wish to harm you, by demonstrating those means on those very same people. And you shall see it now, too, when I present to you the fate of those who try to harm our students."

He signaled with his hand, and the hall doors were opened by a dozen Death Eaters who led a group of seven students. Some were dressed in pajamas, others in plain clothes. Betty was among them. At the same time, two other Death Eaters broke into the circle from the surrounding crowd, one holding the struggling Neville and the other holding Seamus and Hannah Abbott, who were helpless under his grip.

All these students were pushed into the circle, and the light of the moon fell on them like an accusing finger.

"These students – " Lestrange gestured to the confused and frightened students who had been dragged into the hall. "Ignored the Headmaster's generous invitation to this banquet, preferring an evening of idleness to the celebration of this important day. And these three – " He gestured to Neville, Seamus, and Hannah. "Are cruel and bored children who planned to destroy our celebrations by disrupting the holiday ceremonies, for their own enjoyment only. Fortunately, other students with a sense of responsibility and justice heard of their plans and reported them the the teachers immediately. They will receive a generous reward for their righteous initiative, and for the service they did for their classmates."

"We're not – " Neville exclaimed, but his voice was swallowed up by the thunder of Lestrange's voice.

"These ten boys and girls will be punished now, before your eyes, so that you will know what shall befall the person who tries to disturb your peace or disrespects your customs. They will be punished by the power of winter – the mighty power that we praise tonight."

He signaled again, and this time another Death Eater took hold of Luna and ripped her out of Ginny's grip, placing her inside the circle. Ginny was already jumping after her, but Snape snatched her arm with a firm cold hand. She tried to fight it, but he pulled her back into the shadows easily.

"You're a stupid girl, Miss Weasley," he said in her ear as Luna was led, expressionless, in front of the silver bowl. "If you think your little arms have enough strength to stop him."

The Death Eater drew out a stylized knife and scooped Luna's hair roughly, cutting off a white handful and throwing it into the bowl. Then he handed Lestrange the knife and retreated to the shadows.

"The Frost Maiden is a title of honor, awarded to a girl who is elected to take past in the most important ceremony of Yule," Lestrange told the fascinated crowd. "She must be as pure as snow, light as the wind, and silent as the long winter night. Luna Lovegood – " He touched Luna's smooth face with his fingertips. She didn't react at all. Ginny felt a tremendous shudder – "Is perfect for the job. Hold out your hands – yes, like this. Pay attention, students, this is an ancient and rare ceremony. Those who get to see it only once in their lives are considered lucky."

He brought the knife to Luna's white hands and cut them with a swift move. Dark blood dripped from the wounds at one and trickled into the bowl. Luna watched on blankly, not even winching.

Lestrange pulled a glass tube out of the pocket of his robe and presented it to the crowd in a graceful gesture. Inside it a clear liquid sparkled in the moonlight.

"Melted snow," he declared, "That fell on the ground in the first snow of winter."

He poured the contents into the bowl and began to murmur words of enchantment. The runes on the floor began to glow in a frozen, mystical light – all but the smaller circle where Luna and Lestrange were standing, which shone in a yellow light, bright as sunlight.

A pale light shone out of the bowl. Suddenly, as if caught in a beam of moonlight that had them directly, clear snowflakes began to whirl in the air softly. The sight was mesmerizing. But while everyone was transfixed by the beautiful spectacle, a wind started to blow in the outer circle. Ginny wasn't feeling anything, and so did Luna, it seemed, but the students in the circle, Neville, Betty and Seamus among them, began to tremble.

The wind grew stronger. The floor began to cover with frost, and snowflakes clung to the punished students' clothes and hair. The flakes multiplied, and then began to whirl wildly. A snow storm was raging inside the circle.

The students tried desperately to warm themselves. Some tried to escape the circle, but a wall of wind separated them from the outside world. Seamus was punching it furiously a short distance from Ginny, to no avail. His clothes were hardened with frost, and his hair and bristles had gone white.

Suddenly Neville appeared in front of Ginny. He was speaking to her, but she couldn't hear the words coming from his blue lips. All she knew was that he was begging her for help. She slipped away from Snape and threw herself against the wind wall, only to recoil with a cry of pain. The cold burned the skin of her hands so violently that it turned red and hardened immediately, vapors of frost rising from it.

Soon Neville stopped begging for help. He stopped moving completely, standing frozen in his last position, his torn eyes covered with a crust of fine frost, his hair and clothes white, his skin blue and covered with a shiny layer of ice.

The storm ended. Anyone who was imprisoned inside it became an ice statue. Seamus was frozen in a particularly violent posture, but all the others froze in pitiful positions. Betty froze as she was hugged herself forcefully and her gaze dropped to the floor, her golden hair like stalactites of ice over her face.

Lestrange studied the statues with satisfaction. "That," he said, "Will be the fate of anyone will try to hurt you."

A terrified silence hung in the cold air. Everyone looked at the students' statues silently, faces blank or stunned. Ginny wanted to call out, to shout something – anything – but Snape seemed to have read her thoughts, and drew her to him. He relieved the burning in her palms with a wave of a wand and then summoned clean strips of linen that wrapped themselves around the damaged skin.

"Now is the time to celebrate," Lestrange called in a much more cheerful voice, breaking the silence like a fresh root breaking through the late-winter snow. "Worm yourselves and celebrate. Tonight, nothing will hurt you."

Into the hall entered house elves carrying trays of sweet and warm beverages. The black curtains were drawn from the windows and a gray ghostly light poured in, illuminating the dance floor, at the center of which appeared an orchestra of serious, gray-faced people. At first the students stood around awkwardly around, but soon couples began to fill the dance floor, and a thin stream of chattering voices tickled under the gloomy music.

At the end of the ceremony Luna was taken to the room at the back of the hall. Ginny tried to follow her, but Snape garbed her once again and wouldn't let her. She didn't resist for long; The hall was full of Death Eaters, it was useless to try and fight them on her own.

Her cold- hearted date took his place in the golden chair at the head of the staff table, along with the other teachers, absorbed in his thoughts and not talking to anyone. Lestrange, on the other hand, wandered around the hall with a drink in hand, talking to Death Eaters and students with pleasure and ease, passing around the ice sculptures as if they were nothing more than decorations.

Ginny, who hadn't been provided with a chair, remained standing next to Snape, feeling humiliated, like a cheap companion, in her bare red dress and loose, wild hair. She was part of a dark, twisted ball, in which couples danced like puppets on a string and the decorations were made of living people. She couldn't take her eyes away from the statues, and was terrified at the thought that this was their fate.

"They will change back at some point," Snape said, again giving Ginny the chilling feeling that he could read her thoughts. "It's an ancient spell, but not particularly strong, especially when its source of its power takes part in the ceremony against its will..."

"What will they do with Luna now?" She dared to ask as Snape sipped from his goblet.

"Her role in the ceremony is over," he said lazily, staring into the liquid as if it were something disgusting.

Ginny expected him to say something more, but he went quiet. She watched his sullen profile of his face – the hooked nose, the thin lips, the eyes sunk in the yellowish skin and the single crease across his forehead. His face was like that of an ugly old leader who had been craved in stone and placed in a nest of black silk. For the first time Ginny noticed that his black hair, pulled back over his head greasily, was adorned with a single silvery strand. The moonlight made his eyes look like frozen winter lakes, empty and cold, as he watched the puppet show unfolding in front of him.

"The Lord couldn't come tonight," he said suddenly.

"What?" Ginny blurted out, but after a moment realized that he hadn't spoken to her, but to Alecto Carrow, who was sitting to his left.

"That's very unfortunate," she replied in her squeaky voice, revealing her chipped teeth. "I'm sure he would have enjoyed the show. And Rabastan's speech! So inspiring!"

"Our friend is certainly a gifted speaker," said Snape. "It seems that these little brats are beginning to understand the meaning of our new order. Have you heard what the Lord has been doing lately?"

"I haven't. Do tell."

"He is using extreme measures to capture members of the Order of the Phoenix. He gave his patrols the ability to lock into the location on any wizard who uses his name, any where in the world."

"Really?"

"Certainly. That is how he's going to bring the Order's downfall, and especially Potter's..."

Ginny felt a shudder run up her arms. She couldn't believe the order was about to lose. Snape must be lying – he was trying to undermine her –

"Fools," laughed Carrow. Suddenly she noticed Ginny and gestured to her with a nod, her ugly smile disappearing without a trace.

Snape looked up at her. "Of course," he said slowly, "I nearly forgot about the presence of my young dance partner... How irresponsible of me. Yes, this piece of information must not slip out of her, especially when she will soon return home for the holiday. How do you propose we take care of you, Miss Weasley? Flogging? Threats? Shall we Obliviate you?"

"Home?" She blurted out, ignoring the last part of the sentence. They're going to be allowed to go home for Christmas?

"I suggest you get rid of her and end this whole nuisance," said Carrow. "Potter's whore is nothing but trouble."

"Hmm, you might be right," Snape said lazily. "Maybe she'll be more useful as a corpse."

Ginny's throat closed in sharp terror, though part of her still tried to convince herself that everything would be all right – in the end, everything was always all right. They wouldn't kill her...

And then she did the only thing she could do with the overwhelming despair that flooded her consciousness – she tried to run.

But she didn't go more than a few steps when a paralyzing curse hit her and she froze, her hair and dress frozen in wild red blur. At the corner of her tearful eye, she noticed Professor McGonagall and Slughorn looking at her with pity and helplessness.

"It's very upsetting that we have to deal with your disciplinary problems this evening, Miss Weasley," she heard Snape's slippery voice behind her, and she was pulled back forcefully.

She landed on a rough carpet and realized that she had been flung into the room behind the staff table. Her face was burning with pain, and she felt blood tickling her upper lip. She was no longer paralyzed, so she rose to her feet, stumbling over her dress, angry like a wounded animal.

Snape had closed the door behind him. Ginny grabbed a flower vase that stood near by, intending to throw it him, but with a bored stabbing movement of his wand she was flung back once more, the vase breaking in her bandaged hand, injuring her even more.

"Keep your strength, girl," he said, loosening the cuffs of his robe. "You can't beat me."

Ginny's wand was resting in its hiding place in the left stocking under her skirt. For a moment, sprawled on the carpet, her dress spread around her like a stain of blood, she seriously considered taking it out and making a desperate attempt to fight and protect the vital piece of information she had acquired. But her plan was forgotten when she heard a familiar voice.

"Ginny?..."

She turned around sharply and looked into the shadows beside the fireplace. Luna got up from the chair she was sitting in. The black dress and the diamond necklace were taken from her; Now she was wearing her own clothes, her hair cut short and unevenly and her hands bandaged. She was just Luna – not the scary, helpless Ice Maiden in the black dress – and her presence brought tears to Ginny's eyes.

Luna ran to her and knelt beside her, hugging her tightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," she said sadly, Ginny's blood staining her shirt. "I didn't want you to do anything dangerus... I knew you would to try to fight him..."

Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but instead of words came only tears. Tears of longing for the good old Luna and of tremendous anger towards herself flowed down her cheeks.

"What will they do with me now?" Luna asked Snape, who was still standing there with admirable composure.

"From now on you are the Dark Lord's prisoner," said the fake Headmaster. "He is very unpleased with the comments supporting Potter and the Order that your father publishes in his paper."

"Oh, Pappa," sighed Luna, shaking her head.

Ginny tightened her arms around her friend and said stubbornly, in a strangled voice, "You're not taking her."

"Will you spare us this useless objection, Miss Weasley?" Snape said in boredom. "There's nothing you can do. Her fate is in her father's hands now."

"Don't worry, Ginny, Pappa will come get me," Luna encouraged her sweetly. Ginny realized, with a tremendous pain in her heart, in what grave danger her friend was, and how much she would miss her. More tears came.

"You have the evening to say goodbye to your friends, Miss Lovegood. Tomorrow you will be sent to your prison," said Snape, rolling his sleeves and heading for the door. "And as for you, Weasley – what you heard will not leave your little lips as long as you are in my school. This vital information has been violently Obliviated from your memory, is that clear?"

And without another word he left.

Luna cleaned the blood off Ginny's face gently with her handkerchief.

"It's quite nice of him, don't you think?" She said as she treated her friend. "Maybe Professor Snape has a heart after all."

"I doubt that," Ginny said, but to herself thought that maybe Luna was right. She looked up at her. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," Luna said, smoothing her hair. "But you won't give up, will I? I'll send the Nargles to whisper good dreams to you every night." She took her bottle- caps necklace from her pocket and gave it to Ginny. "Here. For good luck."

"For good luck," Ginny repeated, and with the bitter helplessness that filled her, clutched the necklace to her breast.

 


	16. Looking- Glass House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little help with the translation and also a trivia - what is Fred and George's nickname for Ron? It sounds something like "Ronkynees" or something like that. Does someone know what I mean?

_"'Oh, Kitty! how nice it would be if we could only get through into Looking-glass House!'"_

The ice statues were moved to the Entrance Hall and were left to decorate it for a whole week, until the long awaited day when the students were sent home for the holiday.

Ginny refused to leave the dormitory, insisting on staying at Hogwarts as long as her friends were still trapped in their ice prisons. Her roommates called Professor McGonagall, who scolded her with a pale face, determined to persuade her to do as the Death Eaters said and leave before she was forcibly removed from her room.

"Don't you want to go home, Miss Weasley?" She said, standing over her.

Ginny, who was sitting on her bed, shook her head, although in her heart there was nothing she wanted more. The thought of going home and not seeing Hogwarts as sit had become again, without seeing Lestrange and the Death Eaters in the corridors, was too good to believe it might come true if she would just take her trunk and go downstairs.

But finally McGonagall's arguments overcame her obstinacy, and she dragged her trunk to the Entrance Hall.

She walked past each of the statues before she left. She wondered if they could see her, feel the warmth of her hand as she touched their icy limbs through the bandages on her hands. Something in her hoped that they couldn't, because she couldn't stand the thought that they would feel that she was abandoning them.

Betty's frozen hair still covered her face, and Seamus was still frozen in the violent, furious pose. But it seemed to Ginny that as she passed the helpless figure of Neville, his eyes were fallowing her.

She was among the last to leave the castle. This time, unlike the first day of school, carriages pulled by invisible horses were brought to take them to the train station. Ginny was pushed into the last carriage with a group of other mixed students, who sat there in total silence and complete lack of eye contact. Now and then she felt a random glance passing over her face; On the pale blue mark on her nose, the yellowing mark under her left eye, and her bandaged palms.

The rumor of the mysterious abuse that she had passed under Snape's hand on the night of the ball had spread mysteriously, and contained a number of chilling stories that Ginny had only heard for the first time from others. But she wasn't so stupid as to deny them, and she pretended that the most nasty marks she had received were under her clothes.

It was strange to leave the castle in daylight, after all these months. It felt like forever since that damp September night when she had led the students along with Dean up the hill she was now carried down on. Now the muddy ground was covered with a layer of virgin snow, and the sky was covered with a layer of pearly clouds. The frozen daylight was almost burning against the skin of her face that were used to the shade of the castle.

The snow covered everything – the tops of the forest beyond the castle, and the roof of Hagrid's hut that had been standing empty and cold for months. It covered the place where Dumbledore's grave stood, and some distance away, the patch of grass on which Harry had stood when he told her they couldn't be together anymore.

The image of his face that day was still seared into Ginny's mind, like a scene form a vivid dream that she would never forget. And from this lonely and meaningless picture, thousands of fine strands were connected into thousands of other pictures and memories that gathered around her heart and ate at it piece by piece, like scavengers around a corpse.

The most painful part of that moment was its suddenness. There was no way to predict Harry's decision – their relationship was sweet and perfect until that very moment, even in the difficult days that preceded it. There was no excuse for this fateful decision, which changed her life so suddenly.

Hogsmeade Train Station was a ghost station. Ginny got on the train and looked at the town through a window in the aisle, searching desperately for Honeyduks and the Hog's Head. She wondered how the Hogsmeade struggle was progressing, and again, what happened to the students who had managed to escape the castle. And to Dean in particular. More than at any time in that terrible year, she needed him by her side, to strengthen her and make her feel she was doing the right thing.

The attitude of the other students towards her was no different then that of the first day of school. She felt like a leper as she dragged her trunk through the aisle; People were displeased by the sight of her, and yet they couldn't look away. The mockery and the resentment were only a little worse than the pity expressed by some of the other students, and the anxious or chagrin looks of the DA members.

She found an empty cabin at the end of the train and sat there in solitude as it began to move, and Hogwarts, together with her last three remaining friends, were left behind. It seemed she was losing them one after the other – first Dean, then Luna, now Seamus, Neville and Betty, who she may never see again... They're falling like flies, she thought, feeling a bitter loneliness gnawing at the softest parts of her heart.

"Can I sit here?" Asked someone who was standing at the door.

"Sure," she replied distractedly, busy watching the castle getting smaller, thinking that this may be the last time she would see it for a long time, if at all. Only when it disappeared over the snowy hills did she take a look at the person who now shared her cabin.

It was a boy in a turtleneck sweater, jeans and bow in his hair. No – Ginny realized with some confusion – it was a girl.

She turned away, imploring herself not to stare, but as the minutes passed she turned back to glimpse her trip partner. The girl had broad shoulders, a flat chest, long thin legs, thin fair hair gathered in a neglected ponytail, and a square face spotted with pimples. She read a book during the whole ride and either of them said a word. Ginny felt a strange pleasure, perhaps a bit distorted, at being in the company of a fellow outcast.

London was bathed in dusk when the train stopped at the station. Lamps glowed orange against the black sky, illuminating the shadows of the gloomy, trembling mass of people waiting at the platform.

Ginny went out before the masculine girl and strolled along the platform like a sleepwalker among the children reuniting with their families, trembling incessantly in the cold, which reminded her so much of the cold in the Great Hall at the Yule ball. She didn't know if she should expect to see her family there – it was probably too dangerous for them to come...

A hand gripped her arm, and she was face to face with Charlie. After a second she was already in his arms. Her abandoned trunk tilted and fell on his leg, causing him to jump back with a cry of pain. Ginny flinched with an apology, but after a moment she began to laugh.

"What do you keep there, rocks?" He demanded, rubbing his foot in pain as he smiled like a fool. Ginny just kept laughing, almost uncontrollably. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed like that.

Finally they both calmed down and embraced again. When they broke apart, Charlie looked at Ginny's face sourly.

"I hope you have a good excuse for that, otherwise..."

"Mom will be the judge of that. Let's get out of here, I'm freezing." Truthfully, she just couldn't wait to get home.

"I just need to know," Charlie said, suddenly turning unusually serious. "What was the story I used to tell you when you were little?"

Ginny knew why he was asking that, feeling a sense of sourness that she couldn't just be happy to see her brother again. "Angus and the swan. You'd always make up funny stuff, like when he went to look for the swan in the Ministry records..."

"Ah, my first satire," Charlie said with a smile, wrapping an arm around her as he led her away.

In the muggle world life went on as usual, the muggles unaware of the threat hovering over their heads. Their impotence and lack of knowledge made Ginny sick to the stomach as Charlie led her with familiar vigilance through the station, to the parking lot where Bill's old blue Chrysler Cordoba was waiting for them.

He helped her put her belongings in the trunk and then opened the driver's door, peered inside and motioned for her to be quiet. Ginny slid into the back seat quietly, and noticed her father sleeping in the passenger seat. He woke up when Charlie closed the door, though he was trying to keep quiet.

"What? Uh... Charlie..." He rubbed his face and mumbled indistinctly.

"Dad, Ginny here," Charlie said cheerfully as he started the car, which coughed in the cold but finally started with a hum.

Ginny's father wriggled to look at his daughter, and she was shocked to see how old he had become in the last few months. She hugged him to avoid having to look at his face.

"My girl," he said as they broke off, "What happened to your face? And your hands?"

"It's a long story," she said. "Go back to sleep, I'll tell you everything at home."

"But we're not going home, Ginny," her father told her as Charlie navigated out of the parking lot. "We want a peaceful holiday, as much as possible, anyway... We'll spend the holiday at Bill and Fleur's house."

"Oh," Ginny blurted, feeling a strange disappointment. "Oh ... Alright."

"It's a long ride," Charlie told her, peering at her through the rear-view mirror. "You should sleep a bit."

Ginny didn't want to sleep. There were so many things she wanted to ask her brother and father, so many things she wanted to tell them – yet her eyes closed before they reached the highway, and soon she fell into a heavy sleep with her head against the cold car window.

She woke up from the sound of the car door opening and a cold breeze that broke through the hot air in the car. There were Christmas songs on the radio, and then the engine went out and silence fell. Ginny could barely keep eyes open. It was all so dark. It couldn't be that they arrived?

Charlie opened the door to her right. The cold helped her open her eyes, and she realized he had already taken out her trunk.

"We're here," he told her and helped her out. She followed him heavily, still half asleep. The air had a strange smell. It wasn't the sweet smell of the fields around the Burrow – it was the sharp smell of salt. And as she was standing on a strange doorstep under a single lamp, she realized that the silence was broken by a dull, unclear thunder. Was it the ocean?

"Who's there?" Came a voice behind the door.

"Charlie. I'm with Dad and Ginny."

"What gift did I give you when you started at Hogwarts?"

Charlie laughed. "A bag full of tadpoles, to teach me to deal with nasty things in Potions and so I'll learn that toads are never in."

The door opened, revealing Bill. To her delight, Ginny noticed that he hadn't changed at all, and jumped on him with a hug.

Before she knew it she was surrounded by her family. It was as if she had never left, and all the fear and tension of the past few months was washed away from her by their love, leaving her as clean and happy as a baby.

Her mother's eyes were full of tears when she crushed her with a hug and murmured unintelligible words of love. Ginny vaguely remembered being angry at her for some reason, but she couldn't remember why, and she didn't really care.

Fred and George were standing by, complaining that their mother was wasting all their "Ginny Time". Ultimately she reached them too. There was also Fleur, who gave her the most genuine smile, and even Remus and Tonks, a round belly protruding under her sweater and making it hard for Ginny to hug her.

"It's so good to have you at home, dear," her mother said, still wiping tears with her apron.

"And it's not everything," Fred said with a mischievous smile.

"Yeah," said George with a matching smile, "We have an early Christmas present for yo ..."

"Ready?"

"We bring you..."

"Ronkynees!"

Indeed, Ron was standing there, completely real – unshaven and sunken, his hands in his pockets, but a smile on his face. Ginny jumped into his arms and he swung her around, almost hitting a nearby vase, which was saved at the last moment by Fleur while everyone around laughed.

It was too good to be true. Bill and Fleur's house was small, with warm corridors and large windows, full of the aroma of her mother's cooking, so well decorated and comfortable and perfect that Ginny felt like living there forever. The curtains were drawn against the darkness outside, and inside they all sat together in front of the fire. There were many things she had to tell them, and there were many questions they had to ask her, but as if they had all reached a mute agreement to make this night cheerful and relaxed, no one raised the subject of the war or the marks on Ginny's face and her bandaged hands.

Ginny' father, Remus and Bill told anecdotes and drank coffee in front of the fire, while Charlie challenged the twins, each in turn, to a card game which he thought he was better at cheating at then them. Tonks was sitting between Ginny's mother and Fleur, locked up in a woman's talk that was mildly embarrassing for her, because it was mainly about her uterus and her baby. Ginny moved from group to group, listening to the stories, laughing and talking enthusiastically. Sometimes a part of her would wake up and ask what had happened to her, how could she allow herself to be so happy? But she pushed the voice away over and over again and went back to laughing.

Ron sat on the rug beside his brothers, watching their card game in a strange, grave silence. Now and then he would burst out laughing with them, or listen to the conversation, but it was clear that his mind was elsewhere.

Ginny didn't want to think about anything related to the war, but it was hard not to wonder what her brother had been doing out there after his escape at the end of the summer, where Harry and Hermione were, and what he was thinking so much about.

In a warm attic room with wooden walls, ceiling and floor, a bed was made for her. After a late dinner and a few hours with her family, her fatigue overwhelmed her, and she went upstairs to shower. While she was getting into her pajamas by the table lamp light in the room that would be hers for the holiday, she heard the rest of the house turn in for the night, exchanging last words, and found herself smiling.

She sat down on one of the two beds cross-legged, feeling tired but still not wanting to go to sleep. She stole a glance toward the window, but the darkness outside woke a vague fear in her, as if reminding her of what she had left behind. After a while she heard footsteps outside her door. The person outside paused for a moment, then finally tapped hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

Ron pushed his head in with closed eyes. "You decent?"

She threw a pillow at him, hitting him square in the head.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said, and handed her back the pillow along with a rolled-up newspaper he was holding. "I thought you'd like to catch up," he added before sitting on the other bed, facing his sister and resting his elbows on his knees.

"How long have you been here?" She asked him, leafing through the Prophet distractedly.

"About a week," Ron answered, and let out a strange cough. He looked at her face, and she knew what he was going to say before he said it. "Your hand..."

"Death Eaters," she said with a shrug, not interested in talking about what had happened at the ball, and pretended to be immersed in an article about supposedly dangerous muggle- borns who were on the run from the Ministry. She wasn't sure she could find the words to describe what had happened there.

Ron sighed and looked down between his knees. "They're the problem for all of us, eh?..."

"I just can't stop wondering," she found herself saying after a pause. "Why did they let us go?"

Ron shrugged. "Probably another is a twisted plan," he said. "I do not know, maybe they don't care if kids won't come back. That way they won't have to deal with problems, and they can be busy brain- washing the students who were stupid enough to go back."

"I'm going back," Ginny found herself saying.

Ron stared at her. "You can't be serious."

"Neville and Seamus are still there," she said. The more she spoke, the more sure she was in her sudden decision. She couldn't even consider staying in the safety and warmth of this house, leaving the fight in Hogwarts for which she sacrificed so much behind. Especially after what Neville, Seamus and Luna had gone through. "I can't abandon them. You get it, don't you? If Harry and Hermione were in danger, would you leave them behind?"

Ron stared at her and then stood up suddenly. There was a look haunted in his pale eyes; Ginny had never seen them so hard and sad. She had never seen her brother so grim and serious, so frightening.

"You're right," he said as he turned to the door. "You don't leave friends behind."

He left the room and didn't come back until Ginny finished reading the newspaper and went to sleep. She folded the sheet so that Harry and Hermione's wanted poster would face up, put it at the foot of her bed, and turned off the light. Outside, a thin ocean- side snow began to fall, softly caressing the window and melting. She fell right away.

She had a blurred and strange dream and drifted awake, floating between deam and reality. It was still dark outside, but the table lamp beside Ron's bed was flickering. Through foggy eyes, Ginny saw her brother sitting with his back to the wall, his long legs curled up in front of him, playing with a silver instrument that made clicking sounds. With each click a ball of light was sucked from the lamp into the instrument and the room went dark, and then, with another click, it returned to it's place and the room was lit in soft light again.

After a few minutes of repeating the action, Ron noticed that she was awake.

"Sorry," he whispered, and just before he sucked the light to the silver instrument for the last time, Ginny noticed tears under her brother's sad eyes.

 


	17. Drink Me

_"And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden."_

Christmas morning at Bill and Fleur's was no different from any other morning during Ginny's vacation. She awoke to the darkness of dawn and found Ron sitting on his bed, as he did each morning, looking for the station frequency of _Potter Watch_ with the unending hope of hearing some news after several days of radio silence.

The heavy old instrument on Ron's lap made started clicking and buzzing. Ron straightened up with satisfaction, taped the wireless with his wand and said the password. After a moment the buzzing stopped and the voice of Lee Jordan, who during the program called himself River, could be heard, _"Good morning and Happy Christmas to all our listeners..."_

Ron made a triumphant gesture and put the wireless on the floor, lying on his stomach on the bed to listen to news about the Order and the war.

Ginny got up from her bed and peered through the thin curtains that covered the window. Beyond the windy shady garden, a dark gray beach lay around the house, and behind it the sea, dark blue, almost black, endless and still. On the horizon there was a gray streak of pale dawn under the thick clouds.

 _"...Officials close to the Death Eaters have just confirmed that the wizards in hiding who have gone missing in recent weeks were indeed captured because of the new defense system established around the name of You- Know- Who._ _We remind all our listeners to refrain from using his real name, and once again thank the person who provided us with this vital information..."_

Feeling gratified and proud, Ginny smiled to herself and stepped away from the window. Ron turned into his nerve-racking habit of playing with his silver lighter as he listened to the news, turning the lamp beside his bed on and off.

"Would you stop it?" Ginny told him.

"Sorry," he muttered, putting the light back in the lamp.

 _"...And now to news that were received last week: The Death Eaters who took over Hogwarts School decided to release the captive students for the holiday. We ask the parents not to struggle and be unnecessarily hurt if their children are forced to return to school. It seems that as for now the children there are not harmed."_ Lee Jordan sounded as if he preferred to bite his off his tongue than to pass on that information.

"See?" Said Ginny, lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. "You can't stop me from going back."

"He means people shouldn't fight the Death Eaters, because no one has a chance against them," Ron said bitterly. "Have you told mum about this yet?"

"No."

"She'll go mad when she hears."

"I know," Ginny said, feeling the familiar need to delay her fateful announcement as much as possible. The pain and anger of her family when they heard the stories about what she went through at school would become much worse when she tells them that she intends to go back for seconds.

_"In addition, we remind our listeners that every detail about the ten muggle- borns students out of the fifteen who have escaped from Hogwarts in October will be welcomed and appreciated in the Potter Watch new system. Five of them have already been found and returned to their families, but the lives of remaining ten are still in danger. The students' names are Dennis and Colin Creevey, Ante Gillon..."_

Ginny listened to the names intently, but at the sound of the name _"Dean Thomas"_ the alertness had turned to fear until the next broadcast, when she would be filled with new hope to hear that her friend had reached safety.

There was heavy tension in the room as the names were being read. When the list was over, Ron resumed playing with his dimmer. The light went out and went on again.

"I asked you to – " Ginny's words were interrupted by a familiar, soft voice that suddenly rang in the room.

Ginny and Ron stared at the wireless, expecting to hear the voice again, but Lee Jordan's voice was the only one that came out of it.

Then the voice was heard again: _"Ron ..."_

Ron stared at the dimmer. Ginny crawled to the floor and turned down the wireless' volume quickly. In the silence, Hermione's voice was heard clearly, coming from the silver device: _"Ron... Where are you?..."_

"Hermione?" He whispered, not believing his ears.

" _Ron..._ "

"C-can you hear me?"

" _We need you..._ "

"Hermione, where are you?"

" _Ron..._ "

"She can't hear you," Ginny said from the floor.

Ron acted as if he hadn't heard her. He swallowed and looked at the instrument intensely, as if it could give him answers if he concentrated on it hard enough.

"I want to find you," he said in a choked voice. "I want to find you... I'm so sorry... But I can't – I don't know where – "

" _Ron..._ "

Then the voice died away, and was heard no more. Ron stared at the instrument desperately, then pressed on it.

The light went out, but the ball of light that came from it didn't go into the dimmer; It remained hovering in the air, glowing in the center of the room, lighting it like a pale little winter sun.

Ginny got up and hesitantly tried to touch it. It slipped away from her touch like a mischievous bird. Ron was on his feet after a moment, looking at the ball intently.

"Touch it," Ginny encouraged him, curious.

"You sure?..."

"No."

The ball floated a little distance from Ron's face teasingly, like a dog waiting to play with its master. Ron barely raised his hand to touch it, and it leaped forward swiftly and was absorbed in his chest.

Ron choked. For a fraction of a second the room was illuminated by a pool of mystical brilliance that radiated from his chest, lighting his wide, amazed eyes from within. Then it went out suddenly, leaving the room in the darkness of the faint dawn. Ron slumped on the bed in a sudden weakness.

Ginny hurried to his side, afraid that she had given him a bad idea. But before she could even ask what had happened, he sat up with sudden alertness. There was a light of enthusiasm in his eyes; He looked like all the troubles and sadness that had weighed on him since he came home were gone, and he was once again the boy he used to be.

"I know where they are!" He announced.

"What? How – ?"

"I just know!" Ron called, leaping to his feet in a burst of energy. "I have to find them! I know where to look now..."

He grabbed his worn bag, which lay in the corner of the room, and began filling it with items from the closet. Ginny watched him in, shocked at the change of his mood.

"I shouldn't have left in the first place. It was so stupid of me. I don't know what came over me..." He threw the half-full bag aside and began undressing. Ginny turned her back in horror.

"Ron! I'm still here!"

Ron ignored her, dressing in winter clothes and all the while talking to himself about things Ginny didn't understand. When he finished, he grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room. Ginny hurried after him.

"Be quiet, everyone's asleep!"

Only then did Ron hear her for the first time. "You're right," he muttered, keeping quiet the rest of the way down. "I have to leave right away, I can't stay to say goodbye..."

"You're not going to say goodbye?" She asked him when they reached the kitchen. The silhouettes of objects could be seen in the dim dawn light, and Ron gathered some food into his bag without turning on the light.

"There's no time, Ginny. We have to defeat him."

"Defeat who...?"

"You know who, Gin," he said with a strange, almost insane smile, as he put his arms into the straps of his backpack.

"But how are the three of you going to do that?..."

"Long story." He hugged her quickly and kissed her head quickly, something he'd never done before. She didn't hug him back. "Hey, what's with you?"

"I can't believe you're leaving again like that," she told him what she wanted to tell him and Hermione, and especially Harry, months ago.

"I'm sorry about that," he said. "But... I wasn't supposed to come back here in the first place. I made a mistake. I'll fix it now."

"Will you come back again?"

"I'll do anything to come back."

A terrible and awful sense stirred in Ginny then mocking her with the possibility that maybe this is the last time she would see her brother alive. Strangely enough, at that very moment she had comprehended the full significance of the war for the fist time – the fact that the people she loved, and even herself, might not live to see the new world for which they were fighting.

She nodded in painful, frightening acceptance. "Tell Hermione I love her," she said. "And Harry... Tell him..." She didn't know what she wanted to tell him. That she loved him? That she hated him? That she wanted him to come back, or to never see him again?

Ron hugged her again and spared her the confusion.

"You know," he said before he turned to leave, a gentle look revealed in his pale eyes. "He thinks about you a lot."

"How do you know?"

"He's my best friend, Gin. He's like my brother." His own words seemed to stir something in him, and he licked his lips uneasily. "I know how he looks when he thinks about you. It's something different. I recognize that look when I see it, even if he never talks about how he feels."

These words woke in Ginny an emotion she couldn't quite explain.

"Good luck," she said to her brother. "Take care of yourself."

"You too," said Ron, and went out into the dark garden. She watched him advance toward the dawn, his dark figure nearly swallowed up in it, before he disappeared with a pop.

 

The residents and the guests began waking up soon after. They all gathered for breakfast and gift- opening under the tree. Even Charlie and the twins, who slept in the living room and were the last to wake up every morning, rose enthusiastically and joined the rest of them.

Ginny had no time to buy presents, and even if she had had, she was convinced her mother wouldn't have let her leave the house to go to Diagon Alley. Nonetheless, she received gifts herself: Her mum and dad got her an annual blue Weasley sweater with a big red heart on knitted in the middle, surrounding a yellow G, and a heart-shaped box full of strawberry filled chocolates. Fred and George got her a grooming kit for Arnold from their shop, Bill and Fleur got her a silver hair bow and some silver pins with gems shaped like flowers (obviously Fleur's idea), and Remus and Tonks gave her a Wierd Sisters record ("Remus wanted to give you a Dostoevsky's," Tonks whispered to her in a playful wink).

However, Charlie, who had always outdone everyone, got her a subscription for the Holyhead Harpies, her favorite female Quidditch team.

"You can validate it whenever you want, and you'd get seats for the whole season," he told her after she had thanked him and hugged him, and she decided not to dwell on the possibility that she might never have the chance to use that wonderful gift.

"Where's Ron this morning?" Ginny's mother wondered, peering at her watch as she started preparing breakfast with Fleur, after the presents were opened. "Ginny, be a dear and go wake up your brother."

Ginny got a sour taste in her mouth. "He... Er... Alright."

She went upstairs, scolding herself for her cowardice. But by the time she reached the top floor, she had decided it was better that way – she didn't want to ruin the day for her family. She decided she would tell them about Ron's departure later that day. So, after lingering in her room for a few moments, she came back downstairs and lied to her mother brazenly.

"Ill? My poor boy... I'll bring him some breakfast – "

"He doesn't want any," Ginny said quickly. "He feels _really_ bad..."

"He has to at least a drink something – "

"I'll take care of him today, mum, don't bother yourself."

Her mother smiled and kissed her. But there was something sad about her smile, and Ginny was afraid she knew she was lying.

With all the effort to keep the day perfect for her family, Ginny found she couldn't enjoy Christmas. She couldn't stop her mind from wandering to Ron, and, for some irritating reason, to Harry. In the afternoon she tried to read in her room, but it was hard to go back to the book shehad abandoned during the summer, as if her ability to enjoy reading diminished during her imprisonment and struggles at school. Deing closed up in the bedroom with Ron's false presence also weighed on her, and she found her gaze wandering to his bed every few moments, helplessly.

After a short time of futile struggle with herself, she made a decision; She put on high boots and a coat, a scarf, gloves, and a hat and went for a walk in the garden. The damp Atlantic climate had melted every trace of snow that had survived the salty winds above the sea, so the garden was rocky and bare. A salty, biting wind blew along with the waves from the clouded horizon, commanding a murderous terror regime over the gray plants in the garden, freezing Ginny's bare face. She walked along the yellowish fence that surrounded the yard, playing with the thought that this low, decaying wooden structure was the only thing that protected her and her familiy from any danger that lurked on the other side. As if Bill and Fleur's house was some parallel world, a wonderful and utopian reality protected from the outside world by the power of love alone.

She reached the outside basement door in the backyard and found Remus waiting there, embracing himself and shivering in his shabby cloak, white frost clouds rising with every breath he took.

"What are you doing?" Ginny asked him.

"Waiting for Bill to find the key," he said, gesturing toward the door fixed in the ground. "Dora needs a extra pillow, and it seems impossible to find one in the house..."

Ginny thought it odd that he referred to Tonks as Dora. That little gesture was immensely touching, as if Tonks had a different, special name that was created solely for him to use. It was an incredibly sweet thought.

"I can't believe you're going to have a baby. It's so – " Ginny couldn't seem to find the right word for it.

"Strange? Unexpected? Scary?" Remus gave her a nervous smile, which made him look unusually young and out of place, as opposed to his usual Professor- like facade.

"Scary?"

"Terrifying. I never allowed myself to dream that it would be possible... I never thought about what it would be like to actually be a father..." He squinted at the wind descending from the gloomy sky, smiling a little smile, as if to himself.

The tender honesty for the man before her lit Ginny's heart like a spotlight, and she felt a strong urge to unburden herself and let that light fall on her heavy secret.

"Ron left."

At once, Remus morphed into the wise and understanding Professor Lupin. "I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier."

"You knew he would leave?"

"I had a strong suspicion. Your brother has a very strong, and very special relationship with Harry and Hermione. I don't know what the purpose of their journey is – not exactly – but I do know it's too fateful and dangerous for Ron to let them deal with it alone, no matter what was his reason for leaving in the first place," he said. "Life in often disappointing. We are constantly exposed to the evil, apathy, and jealousy in it. But there are people who bring light into our lives – and as you know, a little light can expel a great darkness. These people seldom let us down."

Ginny was surprised to hear such an optimistic insight from a man like Remus Lupin, who had suffered so much unjustified hatred and betrayal during his life. She tried to think of the people who brought light into her life; A tide of names flooded her, filling her with a surge of strength.

"What do you know about their mission?"

"As I said, not much," Remus said, not surprised by her question, "I know that Dumbledore trusted them with it personally. It has something to do with winning the war, that I know for sure."

"But what exactly – "

"I don't know. It seems that no one knows, except for them."

"How come you always have a good response for everything?"

Remus laughed. When he smiled he looked a lot younger, and the thin scars and trikes of whites in his hair looked like graceful additions to his appearance. "Well, not _always_..."

"And how would you react if I told you I'm planning to go back to Hogwarts?"

"I's say I'm not surprised by that, either."

"You suspected that, too, did you?" She said with a grin.

He smiled at her appreciatively. "There is quite a bit you can do at Hogwarts to help end the war. Besides, I can't quite see you hiding in this house while your friends are suffering. You're very much like Harry in that respect. You both have this sense of leadership – "

"I'm nothing like Harry," Ginny said, not sure if she should feel offended or proud. "And I'm not any kind of a leader. If I were, people would've followed me."

"Come now, Ginny. You know that the fact that you are a leader doesn't guarantee that people would follow you," said Remus, "It doesn't mean you don't have what it takes."

That statement made her feel uneasy –  perhaps because it was so true, tempting her with the possibility to gain back the strength she had lost during the fight, and to drive the Death Eaters out of Hogwarts.

"You wouldn't tell anyone what I told you, right?"

"My lips are sealed, until you decide it's that right time," Remus said, and Ginny never appreciated the gentle werewolf more than at that moment.


	18. Croquet

_"'Do you play croquet with the Queen today?'"_

No one in Ginny's family had reacted well to her intention to return to Hogwarts at the end of the holiday. The statement had shocked them so much that they were hardly angry that she had kept from them that Ron had left again. Her mother immediately burst into a choked lecture about the danger of returning there, while her father sat with a troubled and thoughtful expression. Bill tried to speak to her rationally, even when Charlie had abandoned that course of action and went on to insist that she simply wouldn't go back. The twins simply reacted to the whole thing with a heavy, uncharacteristic silence. Ginny was surprised by her brothers' lack of support for her, but was reassured by Remus Lupin's silent presence in the room, and stuck with her decision throughout the discussion.

Tonks didn't express her opinion during the argument, but that night, the night before the last of Ginny's stay in her brother's house, the young Auror climbed to the attic room with an old muggle radio.

"It's my dad's," she explained at the sight of Ginny's confused face, sitting next to her on Ron's bed. "I use it to listen to Potter Watch, but I think you need it more than my dad or I do. He's on the run from the muggle-born office, you know. Anyway, he shares your dad's love for muggle toys, and he inhanced this thing with some spells. It should be able to work in Hogwarts, but it's not actually magical, so the Death Eaters won't find it. That way you and your friends can catch up on the news every once and a while."

"Thanks," Ginny said, taking the radio. Tonks was like and older sister to her, so she wasn't surprised she brought her essential items that her parents didn't want her to have, but she was still surprised that she was doing it behind her parents' backs. Tonks never use to keep her opinions to herself.

"But you didn't get it from me, okay?" Tonks said with a wink, rising with a sigh. She stroked her belly appreciatively. "Damn you, you're getting heavy..."

"Why don't you want my parents to know?"

Tonks looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "Are you kidding? Look – how much would you say this thing encourages you to go back to Hogwarts and fight?"

"Um... Very much?"

"Exactly. Your parents still think there's a chance they'll convince you to stay here. They'll go mad with worry when you go..." Tonks smiled sadly at her stomach and stroked it again. "And it's a terrible feeling. I know it now. Children shouldn't put themselves in danger, even if only for the peace of mind of their parents."

"But I have to go..."

"I know. Sometimes there are things we have to do." Suddenly Tonks reminded Ginny of her husband in a disturbing way – older than her age and sad. She winked at her, but it wasn't like getting back the cheerful, careless Tonks from a year ago. "Good night, then."

That night, the thought of the tremendous change in Tonks's character disturbed Ginny's sleep, and more then that – the thought of her own transformation. She, like Tonks, had undergone a sharp change in her character since the beginning of the war. She was transformed from a child with passion and laughter into a bitter, stubborn, uncompromising girl.

Recently she felt that there was another change in her; Like the submissive students whom she secretly condemned, she became more and more compromising, not less belligerent, but much more desperate. At the beginning of the year she would have struggled with every little injustice, ad now she would give in to almost any pressure exerted on her almost immediately, swallowing the anger helplessly, as if she were already so broken that she couldn't bear any more weight on her shoulders.

She hated the effect the war had on her, and in the darkness of the darkest hour of the night she decided to reassemble herself and become the stubborn Ginny she once was. She would go back to Hogwarts and fight, she decided, embrace the fear to her heart as she had done with her childhood fear of darkness, with the horrors of the Chamber of Secrets or with her fear of Harry's intense love. That way she would overcome it – sip the poison so to be immune to it – as she had always did . She won't be persuaded to surrender and abandon her friends, as had happened at the beginning of the holiday.

She spent the last day of the vacation in an endless argument with her mother. It reminded her why she had been angry with her at the beginning of the year. But this time, she decided, she wouldn't deal with the problem like a rebuked child, but as an adult. She remained in her position in a long, hard silence, not trying to twist and intensify her position, but rather put it as a fact. Until the evening, which was rainy and stormy, her mother surrendered reluctantly, and with her all the family gave in to Ginny.

That evening Ginny knelt on the wooden floor and packed her trunk with the determination of a soldier preparing for battle. Her desk lamp began to weaken and flicker slightly, nearing the end of it's life along with the end of Ginny's stay in the room. Outside, wild torrential rain hit the window, and the cold wind roared with a demand to subdue the flimsy window frame and come inside, into the heat.

Ginny was absorbed in her resolve when she felt a burning sensation against her hand. She rummaged through the clothes and found the fake DA coin; She had almost forgotten it, after months of helplessness in the face of their enemies. She turned it over to read the message engraved in it in tiny letters:

**_Are we going to give up?_ **

She felt a fighting spirit fill her being. It assured her that there would be pain, much of it, but she could stand it for the cause, and for the person who had sent that message.

It could have been anyone; Luna in her mysterious prison, Dean during his flight to some unknown sanctuary, Seamus or Neville released from their ice prisons, or any other DA member, in or outside Hogwarts, grappling with a question that had plagued Ginny secretly until that very day - is there any point in fighting anymore?

And she wrote: **_Never._**

 **** _  
_ The next morning she was back on the Hogwarts Express, on her way back to school.  
Her father woke her early in the morning to give her a farewell hug while she was still in bed, and then went grimly to his work at the Ministry of Magic. Her mother separated from her in the doorway with puffy eyes, and her brothers hugged her with somber faces that they tried unsuccessfully to hide behind optimistic smiles. Only Tonks gave her a real smile and whispered to her, "Good luck" When she hugged her.

Charlie and Remus accompanied her to the train station and begged her to take care of herself when she parted from them on the platform. She got on the train, nudging away the idiotic feeling that she was almost at the end of the line.

To her immense surprise, as she searched for a seat on the train, it seemed that the same number of students who had left school were coming back at the end of their vacation. It appeared that the students had accepted the sharp changes in the school policy, and weren't even going to try to resist it. Maybe they agreed with it now, but Ginny wanted to believe that it was more likely that it was out of the fear that had been ingrained in the depths of their souls by a skilled hand.

Everyone were still staring at her. As she passed Ernie McMillan in the corridor, he opened his mouth as if to say something to her, but then he noticed a noisy group of students sitting in a nearby booth, and walked on as if he didn't know her. She immediately understood the purpose of that behavior, and didn't approach to any other DA member she had seen during her search.

The train was already moving as she passed the cabin where she had set on the way there. The masculine girl was sitting where Ginny had sat two weeks before with a new book. Ginny wasn't sure why she was doing it, and yet she went inside.

The girl watched her intensely as she lifted her trunk onto the shelf above the seat. Ginny suffered the stare for a few moments, but finally her resilience broke and she stared back. The girl looked away at once.

"I hope it's all right that I sit here," Ginny said, convincing herself that this was the reason for the strange look. The girl nodded and went back to her book.

They sat in silence for a while, like on the first trip, until suddenly the girl spoke. Ginny, who was deeply absorbed in her own thoughts, didn't catch her words.

"Excuse me – what?"

"Your face. I said they healed nicely."

"Oh, thanks," Ginny blurted out, not sure how to respond to that odd empathy. "Unfortunately, my hands hadn't recovered yet..."

"A magical injury. Did you see a Healer?"

"You could say that, yeas." It was dangerous to go to the hospital, but Remus knew a little healing magic. "He gave me a potion. Said it would get better when the weather gets warmer."

"Makes sense." The girl was looking at her again. She had pale eyes – not the beautiful and mesmerizing kind, but the dull, unsettling kind. They were small, close together, yet they had a clear intelligence in them.

"Um... I don't think I've ever seen you in school. Are you – "

"I'm not new. People just tend to miss me in the audience."

"I see..."

"Fourth year. My name is Ursula."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm – "

"Ginny Weasley. I know."

Ginny didn't have to ask her how she knew. Now she understood how Harry had felt sometimes.

"In what – "

"Slytherin."

Ginny inwardly flinched. At first impression Ursula appeared as a distinct Ravenclaw.

"I hope it won't affect our relationship," Ursula continued in her fluent, cool tone. "People don't talk to me often. You probably see why."

That statement put Ginny in an uncomfortable situation. She found herself doing something she hadn't done for several long years – she stuttered.

"I don't support the Dark Lord, if that helps." Ursula ignored Ginny's discomfort, leafing through her book as she spoke. "In fact, most on the Slytherins don't support him – not really. As of now, there are the same number of false supporters of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in Slytherin as in any other house. Not that you can blame them, given the circumstances."

"How... How do you know that?"

"I have eyes and ears."

"Me too, but – "

"Since I don't suffer from distractions in the forms of friends or love interests, I'm able to use them better than most."

Ginny was surprised again by the honesty and precision of her sharp conversation partner. "I... Uh... "

"You shouldn't feel bad about that. Most people are like you. I would've switched places with you any day."

Ginny blurted out a short, bitter laugh. "You wouldn't want that, believe me."

Ursula gave her a look that made her uneasy, and Ginny decided that she would soon excuse herself and take a break from this disturbing conversation in the bathroom.

"Oh, yes, I would. Want to hear why?"

"I... Need to use the bathroom. Excuse me."

"Of course. It's perfectly understandable. I'll be immersed in my books when you come back. It really is fascinating."

Ginny exited the cabin and hurried to the bathroom, where she lingered much longer than necessary. She felt uneasy every time she thought about the strange eyes and low voice of Ursula from Slytherin.

 

To her relief, the other girl didn't try to speak to her again during the ride, and they got to the castle in separate carriages in the heavy twilight. Dementors greeted them at the gates, watching them from the darkness under their hoods. Ginny hadn't missed the cold nausea they aroused in her and the memories of the Chamber of Secrets they brought up.

As the carriages came to a halt at the castle door darkness had ruled the world, and frozen snow was falling. Crisp old snow crushed under the feet of the students dragging their trunks up the stairs, to the welcoming warmth and light, like flies to a flame. 

The ice sculptures were missing in the Entrance Hall. Ginny wanted to take it as a good sign, but she found it difficult to do so under Snape's black gaze, which supervised the students returning to his amusement cage from the entrance to the Great Hall. She felt his eyes on her, and turned her back to him as she climbed alone to the common room.

She couldn't find Neville and Seamus, nor Betty in the common room. In the dorm were only two girls who were sitting on one's bed and talking in hushed and serious voices. They looked at Ginny as she entered.

"Have you seen Betty?" She asked, panting a little after dragging her trunk up the stairs.

They stared at her in disgust and ignored her question. Ginny assumed the behavior was a result of some new rumor about her, or maybe just plain snobbery, and went to the boys' seventh year dorm.

She was ecstatic to find Neville there, sitting on his bed and leafing through a book dully. At the sound of her entrance, he raised his pale face and tired eyes to her.

"Hey – " He could barely get a syllable out of his mouth, and she was already crushing him in a hug that would have knocked him back if he hadn't supported himself.

He laughed, and she noticed that he sounded like he had a cold. She felt, sincerely, that she was deeply sorry for any shred of impatience or mockery, even the smallest, that she had ever shown to his innocence and kindness, or to his affection for her.

"I did not want to leave," she swore fiercely to him. "But they forced me to go along with everyone. I didn't want to leave you alone with them. Where's Seamus? Betty?"

"I know you wouldn't have left us behind if you had a choice," he said hoarsely, but with immense tenderness. Ginny was about to ask him if he could see, hear or feel her when he was trapped in the ice, but he went on, "Seamus is still in the infirmary, his condition was worse than mine. He kept trying to break free, while I just waited for the ice to melt... It was a strange feeling, to be imprisoned there. I felt every second that passed, but at the same time I didn't feel a moment go by... As if it were a dream, but not exactly... And it was so cold..."

She hugged him again. "I wanted to help you," she said against his shoulder.

"I know. I've seen it all."

"They won't get away with this, Neville. We will fight back. We'll be stronger now, more organized... "

She told him about Potter Watch, and about Remus' and Tonks' support and about Ron, who emerged momentarily from his mysterious adventure with Harry and Hermione.

"Exactly! That's what I wanted us to do from the start," said Neville enthusiastically. There was no accusation in his voice, only a passion to act. "When is the next broadcast? I want to hear about everything that's going on!"

For the second time that year, Ginny moved her things to the boys' room. It would be essential for her to sleep there now – it was to be their headquarters from now on.

They skipped dinner for an enthusiastic discussion of their future activities. They didn't mind that Snape or Lestrange were probably making the other students stand at the tables like puppets as they brainwashed and scared them into submission, while the two of them sat facing each other in their pajamas, on Harry's old bed.

"Was the holiday here terrible?" Ginny asked over the hum of the radio that Tonks had given her, which was laying between them in vague anticipation of the a Potter Watch report.

"It wasn't the merriest Christmas I've had," Neville said with a very bitter smile. "After we defrosted they mostly left us alone – we were all in the infirmary. Most of them there still there with pneumonia – I had it easy, only got a cold. Recently the Carrows begin to visit the common rooms from time to time to practice curses... But I think everybody's alright. They get bored pretty fast when there are no other Death Eaters around to laugh at their games. But, well, Lestrange is a different story..."

"Lestrange?" Ginny tensed.

Neville looked at her sorrowfully. "He... Caught Betty during one of the meals. She went so pale that for a moment I thought she was going to turn to ice again. And he was so pleased with himself, that disgusting piece of Hippogriff turd... That was four days ago. I haven't seen her since."

 


	19. Ongoing Madness

_"'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice._

_'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'"_

The first thing Ginny and Neville decided to do before they gathered the DA was to replant the seeds of hope and rebellion among the students. In the past months when the Death Eaters had prevailed, the students had sunk into a defeated routine, in which pain took a regular part. Before they did anything else they had to remind them that there was another way, that would be revealed to them if they only fought back.

The perfect opportunity came a little more than a week after the students had returned from the holiday. They discovered that they can record the Potter Watch broadcast; So the day after the awaited broadcast, just before lunch, they streamed along with the students walking to the Great Hall until they reached the staircase that led to the northern tower, and then slipped upstairs. They settled into a fifth-floor terrace overlooking the main third-floor corridor, and Neville took out the radio that was hidden in his backpack.

"Ready?" Said Ginny, taking out her wand.

Neville put a finger on the play button and gave a mischievous, uncharacteristic smile that filled Ginny with enthusiasm for what was about to come. "Let's do it."

She tapped the radio and said, _"Sonorus."_

Neville pushed the button. For a few moments there was only the increased crunching sound, which made all the students that passed through the hall to look around curiously. Then Lee Jordan's voice echoed in the high ceiling vaults, and even the portraits listened intently:

_"... We are calling out to all Hogwarts students who may be listening to us now: Don't give up! Shoe these Death Eaters what you got! No one has a right to your freedom but you, kids, and no one has the right to treat you like prisoners! You have all of the Wizarding World behind you, so don't stop fighting until you get those scumbags out of your school!"_

A rising tide of murmuring rose from the third floor. Ginny noticed people smiling to one another carfully. However, a dark movement downstairs indicated that their hiding place might soon be revealed.

 _"I don't know what about you,"_ Fred Weasley's voice joined in, _"But if some bad- breathed Death Eaters would've dared to step inside Hogwarts when I was a student... Merlin, I don't want to think what would've happened to them! Am I right, River?"_

_"Absolutely right, Rodent – "_

_"We said I'd be called Razor,"_ Fred said in a hushed voice that was still heard clearly.

 _"Anyway,"_ Lee Jordan continued, ignoring the remark. _"Students of Hogwarts, you can be proud of yourself for not give in. Keep on making trouble, don't giving in, and remember that all of us are with you all the way! We were River and Rodent – "_

" ** _Razor –_** "

_"And thank you for tuning to Potter W – "_

Neville switched off the device. The sound of running feet could be heard from the stairwell they had come from – they had been discovered.

Ginny took Neville's arm and pulled him down the hallway, which turned right and ended in a dead end. But before they could despair, the door in the ceiling opened and a silver ladder was dropped down. Both of them climbed up quickly, Neville still holding the radio and Ginny holding the wand. The ladder jumped back up after them and the door closed.

"Quickly, quickly!" Trelawney gasped, her great eyes especially wide behind her spectacles. "Here!" She ran and lifted up the edge of the tablecloth on her crystal- ball table. Neville and Ginny slid under it and she concealed them with the cloth.

After a few moments there was a violent knock on the trap door. "Open up, you old hag!"

Trelawney adorned her most hovering appearance and went to lower the ladder for the Death Eaters.

"Just as I have predicted," she claimed, as the guards in the black robes entered her class, which was no longer used, and looked around. Ginny tried to be still as a statue. "I have seen in my crystal ball three handsome knights on a pure mission that will come arrive at my threshold. You – "

"We didn't come to hear your nonsense," a Death Eater interrupted. "We're looking for two troublemakers. If you're hiding them – "

"Oh, the knights are lost in the labyrinth of their holy mission, just as the vision described!" Trellawney called.

She studied their faces through her spectacles as if they were extremely fascinating; It seemed to make them very uncomfortable, and one of them in particular. She reached out swiftly and took off his mask, revealing a very young and anxious face.

"This face... I have seen it my dreams..." Trellawney murmured in awe. "Yes, I remember! In my dream I saw you borne on the wings of an eagle! It way telling you about the land revealed before you, a land that shall one day be yours. It said you were born to do great deeds!"

"Quiet, you old charlatan," grunted another Death Eater, pushing her away from the younger one. "Where are the children?"

"I could look into the crystal ball, if you –"

"You're hiding them here."

Trellawney seemed genuinely shocked by that suggestion. Ginny was surprised to discover what a good actress she was. "I would not dream of doing such a thing! Especially after the vision I had, where you received a special honor from your Lord for you service... No, no. And besides, where could I hide children here? It's so crowded here that one of my precious devices would have been broken. I could never afford that. You know, poppy seeds are very expensive today, and if they spill – "

"She doesn't know anything," the third Death Eater determined. "She's totally crazy – couldn't help anyone if she wanted to."

They turned to go. Before he went down the ladder, the young Death Eater glanced at the fortune-teller over his shoulder uncertainly. She nodded at him encouragingly, and he smiled like an idiot before leaving.

  
  
Their action had an immediate effect on the other students. That evening the school was already filled with rumors of the overall resistance of the third-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws in Muggle Studies that afternoon, who had refused to curse an old muggle that Alcto Carrow had captured, so that the students could study his reactions. And in fifth year Defense, a Gryffindor had called the other Professor Carrow names that had earned him public humiliation. He boasted about the marks that he carried on his body that evening in the common room, and many others were quick to add stories of resistance they had heard or had taken part in during the day.

In addition, the DA's gallon burned all night long with questions and demands to set up a meeting, and with cheers for the members who had spread the encouraging broadcast during lunch.

Neville and Seamus spent the night making plans and raising ideas. Ginny felt tired and went to bed early, lying in Harry's bed and listening to her roommates talk.

She felt tremendous satisfaction at what they had managed to do, but she knew that the real enemy wasn't even tickled by their actions. The Death Eaters were more agitated and furious than ever after what had happened at lunch, especially since they hadn't caught the culprits, but still no one dared not to stand up when Snape entered the hall, and there was still no squeak of disobedience during Lestrange's classes.

Moreover, there was still no sign of Betty. Ginny followed Lestrange with her eyes during classes and meals, but he behaved as usual – pleasant and smug as ever. She couldn't draw a single clue about the whereabouts of her friend from him.

"We have to find her," she told Neville and Seamus as they sat down for breakfast in the Great Hall a few days later. She had no fear of being eavesdropped; It was the busiest hour on the morning, and everyone was busy with their own conversations. The Patil twins were among the few who didn't come back after Christmas, so even they weren't there to listen in on them.

"You think she's still alive?" Seamus asked in a gloomy tone, swirling his coffee absently.

"Yes," Ginny said, though she wasn't sure. But it didn't matter – she had to find out what had become of her. She owed her at least that, in memory of their old and new friendship alike.

"We can make a distraction if you want to go into his office again," Neville said. "I'll lend you the pocket knife. In any case we planned to stir up some fuss before we called up the – "

Seamus kicked him so hard under the table that he dropped his goblet and pumpkin juice spilled all over the table.

"We'll talk about **that** in the evening, after I take a look in that prick's office," Ginny said firmly.

Neville and Seamus arranged a distraction for her immediately after the last class of the day. They didn't have much, since they didn't have access to Zonko's to Fred and Goerge's joke shop, so they settled for lumps of old water-soaked parchment and a vile of puffing potion that might have expired and was expected to produce unexpected results. Ginny didn't know exactly what they were planning, but while she was hiding in an abandoned classroom near Lestrange's office, she heard distant shouts and roars of laughter and knew that the trick was working as planned.

She waited a few minutes to make sure the whole school could hear the commotion and that Lestrange would surly go see what the fuss was about. Only then she left of her hiding place and immediately started picking the lock with Neville's diamond knife, knowing she didn't have much time. Her heart pounded as the sun went down and dimmed the corridor lights ominously, as if warning her that something bad was about to happen.

Suddenly a torch lit up. She straightened up in alarm, and right then the door gave in and opened.

She peered inside with a pounding heart. The office was dark, and Ginny took it as a sign that it was empty. She scolded herself for her childish fear of seeing him waiting there for her with malicious satisfaction. She flicked a light on the end of her wand and scanned the room. It was indeed empty.

She stepped inside and closed the door quietly. The air there was leaden with perfume. The chest full of wands was still in place, but Ginny knew it would be stupid to try to break it again. She went to the desk and rummaged through the letters, not looking for anything specific. After a few seconds she stopped, hypnotized.

Lestrange's water mirror was placed at the end of the table, covered with the scented silk sheet whose smell revived a very bad memory in Ginny. Determined to spit in the face of fear, she exposed the mirror and threw the cover aside. The shells and corals in the silvery frame gleamed in their own silvery-green light, and the smooth mirror glittered like water in the dying sunlight.

Ginny leaned over and looked at her reflection. The skin of her face looked white and tender as a pearl and her eyes glistened like diamonds sunk in mud.

She turned in horror and looked over her shoulder. Then she calmed down a bit, realizing that Lestrange's reflection behind her shoulder was only the terrifying memory of her first visit to his office.

She turned back to the mirror. She had a crazy idea, which she immediately rejected, but part of her still kept thinking about it openly. She bit her lip, pushed her hair away from her face, and looked deeper into the mirror.

"Harry," she whispered.

The face of the mirror moved like ripples in the water, completely obscuring Ginny's face. When they cleared and the mirror was smooth again, her face wasn't the one looking back at her.

"Ginny...?"

Harry stared at her incredulously, his eyes filled with wonder, but also with suspicion at the possibility of a trap. His hair had grown since the last time she had seen him, and he had grown thick, soft bristles, on his jaw that made him look much older. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and his face and hair were wet – he must have been in the middle of a wash. She could see a drop of water running from his bare forehead to his cheek, past the scar, which was strangely red and irritated. He had a somewhat wild, almost dangerous look. As he stared at her, unbelieving, it wasn't clear whether he wanted to kiss her or to attack her.

She turned the mirror away with trembling hands, almost knocking it down. The spectacle was gone, and Ginny realized she was shivering, and that she had dropped her wand. She bent to pick it up, her mind still empty and stunned at what she had experienced, and at the sudden emotions the brief encounter had evoked in her, when she heard a voice.

For a moment she was filled with blazing excitement, thinking that maybe Harry's reflection had returned to the mirror. But the voice wasn't Harry's; It was a feminine voice, higher and much more frightened.

"Who's there...?" The voice rose from a crack in the door on the far side of the room. "Please... I need water... I'll do anything..."

Ginny shone her light into the room. There was a big bed, some cupboards, paintings... And then the light fell on a shivering lump in one corner. It squcked as the light hit it.

"Please, stop... I just want water..."

"Betty?" She blurted out, shocked.

The lump slowly raised a shaggy head. "Who...?"

Ginny hurried over and knelt beside Betty on the floor. She was very thin, more than she had been before the holiday, and very bruised. The blue and purple marks seemed to spread over her white skin like a disease, and the cuts were red and black, untreated and infected. There was a large plank of blood on her swollen brow, and a puffy purple mark covered the whole right side of her face. Her hair was dirty with blood, her lips chapped. There was nothing beautiful about her – she was something to pity, not to adore.

She was laying on the floor in total defeat, wearing a very large stained gown, and at her feet was a fine silver chain that twisted around her almost bruised ankles and tied them to the big bed in the center of the dark room, as if she was and animal.

Ginny was too shocked and sick to say anything.

"Water..." Betty murmured, her eyes glazed. She didn't seem to recognize her.

Ginny held her wand close to Betty's dry, bruised lips and whispered the spell word. Water dripped into her mouth and she lapped it with a terrible, desperate thirst.

"Thank you..." she whispered as she finished quenching her thirst. "I'll do anything... Please... Don't hurt me anymore – "

"Betty, it's me," Ginny said, still not quiet warping her head around the situation. "It's Ginny. I'm here to rescue you..."

"Ginny...?"

"Don't you remember me?" Ginny took her friend's head and forced her to look into her face. Betty's gaze focused, and she made a frightening gesture that might have been a smile. One of her front teeth were broken.

"Ginny... It's really you. I thought... I thought that..."

"I didn't forget about you," said Ginny, wanting more than anything to be able to take care of her friend's wounds and get her out with there. "What did he do to you...?"

Betty began to weep. "You don't really have to as ..." She looked at her with beautiful, dead eyes, like a doll's. "You know what did... Again and again... And it's worse every time, he makes sure it is..." Her words could hardly be understood over her weeps. She garbed Ginny's arms with a frightening force. "Help me! You came to free me, didn't you? Do it already!"

Ginny nodded, a huge lump blocking her throat. "I'm getting you out of here."

She held the chain in one hand and her wand in the other, her grief and pain distracting her from logical thinking, and called, _"Diffindo!"_

The chain broke immediately, but at the same speed repaired itself, and heated up quickly in Ginny's hand. She dropped it as it charred her skin, and Betty's cries grew louder as she kicked her legs, trying to shake the burning metal off her legs, to no avail.

"Make it stop... Make it stop..."

Ginny could do nothing but watch her friend writhing in pain, hating Lestrange for what he had done, and hating herself even more, because she couldn't help, and only made things worse. Then the alarm went off.

She jumped up and stood frozen for a moment, struggling between escape and self-sacrifice on the altar of friendship. Finally, she realized, she wouldn't be able to help Betty if she was caught.

"I'll come back for you!" She called over the noise and ran out. Before she was out of earshot, she heard Betty's voice rising in a ghastly shriek: **"Don't leave me!"**

Her vision clouded with tears as she tore through the school corridors.

She knew exactly where she wanted to go. She had no trouble avoiding distant voices and the sound of boots hitting the floor when she knew exactly where she wanted to go. For some reason, she didn't feel the growing, heavy fear she had felt in her flight with Neville a few months earlier. She could only think of Betty, lying on the floor of Lestrange's bedroom, writhing in agony.

She stopped in front of the statue of the hump- backed witch. Far behind her echoed the sounds of a chase, but she knew she would be far away from there before they could touch her. She raised her wand – _"Dissendium!"_

Nothing happened. She tried again, this time with a greater sense of fear. The statue didn't move. She started pushing it fanatically, calling, _"Dissendium! Dissendium!"_ Her cries rising with her growing fear.

The Death Eaters were just around the corner. There was nowhere to run. Ginny felt she was frozen inside, like a small animal realizing that there was no escape from the predator. She put her wand in its hiding place and threw herself on the statue in a last and desperate attempt.

That was how the Death Eaters found her, and it made them roar with laughter.

A powerful paralyzing curse hit her and knocked her to the floor, all her limbs screaming in pain.

"This passage has been sealed off long ago, blood traitor," one Death Eater told her, lifting her with a spell and leading her away like a sacrifice to the altar. "And the muggle lovers who were on the other side are rotting in Azkaban. Their lousy little shop made a very nice fire at the time, but you must know that – if I'm not mistaken, you were the one who drew our attention to its existence?"

The Death Eaters laughed wickedly. It was too much for her. As the Death Eaters led her paralyzed body, a tear of remorse and guilt over the fate of the beautiful Betty, the merry Archie, his fat father, and his lovely mother who owned a candy shop, tickled from her wide, unblinking eye to her numb cheek.

 


	20. Guilty Without Trial

_"'Sentence first – verdict afterwards.'"_

Ginny's disciplinary case was assigned to none other than Rabstan Lestrange, who took the task upon himself with diligence, and was destined to fill it almost perfectly.

That evening, which was to be the first of countless days of punishment, her educator welcomed her at the Headmaster's office with a number of Cruciatus curses. The pain lasted forever, a nightmare from which she couldn't wake up, even when she added to the pain of the curse as she dug her nails into her palms to stop herself from screaming. When it stopped she was laying on the floor, confused and relieved. For a short time she could not remember where she was, who she was, and certainly not why she deserved that kind of pain.

Lestrange knelt beside her and studied her face. She could faintly feel his hands on her skin, as if she had lost the small sensitivities of the skin after the painful experience that shook her nerves.

"Remember," said a voice from an unclear source. Only hours later, when she had recovered and began to think clearly, she realized that it had been Snape speaking. "Make her regret what she did – make sure she will not even consider doing it again. But most importantly, you need to show the other students what is the fate of an disobedient student. Start the display tonight, strike the iron while it is hot."

"I know that, Severus. And if you're going to suggest that I'm not supposed to use her for my personal pleasures during the process, I'll tell you you don't have to worry – I have a much more enjoyable toy, with much simpler instructions. Anyway, I'm not a man who reuses other people's belongings. Especially not whores, and especially not Potter's."

Then he turned back to Ginny. His hand moved from her face to her neck, and as he spoke, she felt he was beginning to strangle her. "You crossed the line this time, love. I had great plans for you, you know. Your situation could have been much better - and you certainly wouldn't have gotten here – if you had just tried to listen to my proposal, and realized that there was another, better way to live life."

Ginny wanted to tell him that she would rather die than live by his way of life, but she could barely breathe with his hand around her throat. The world was spinning around her – she was sure he was going to choke her to death – but then he let go.

"It's time you got what you deserve," said the second voice, which was Snape's. "If not for the serious crime you committed – breaking into the office of a school Professor and trying to steal his personal property – then because of the stupidity of that decision, and the thought that you could escape it without punishment."

Then the curse struck her again. All her breath and blood drained to her head, and she fainted.

She was floating in a sea of haunted dreams for what seemed like an eternity to her. When she awoke, her whole body trembled with cold on a hard stone floor, and the muscles of her hands and feet were heavy and stiff. At first she was too confused to focus, sure she is still in some nightmare. But after a while of drifting between waking and sleeping, she realized that she was lying on the floor in the dark Entrance Hall, her hands and feet in chains that glowed ominously in the darkness. The castle was set in a ringing silence, and she was completely alone.

She sat in the dark for a long time, her head empty, not fully aware of her condition. It wasn't until the distant start of dawn crept into the high windows that she thought of her mother and father, and of Harry, and began to cry uncontrollably. She would give everything for someone, anyone, to hold her lovingly and make her feel protected for only a moment.

The day had risen and her tears had dried up in defeat until students and teachers began to arrive at the Great Hall for breakfast. Everyone, without exception, stared at her as they passed. She could only imagine how miserable and filthy she looked, after the pain she had experienced and the long stay on the floor. The humiliation was almost unbearable.

Most of the looks were filled with pity, in others there was fear, in others disgust, and quite a bit where of mockery and clear satisfaction. Professor McGonagall arrived early, stopping at the bottom of the stairs as soon as she saw her. She stared at her in shock, her face as pale as ice, and at once the shock turned to rage.

"Ginevra," she said in an authoritative, steady voice. "Miss Weasley. You will not undergo this treatment a moment longer."

She straightened her back and climbed back up ostentatiously. But Ginny remained shackled all day, and for many more days to come.

Slughorn turned green when he saw her, and gave her an apologetic look as he hurried into the Hall. Her female classmates from Gryffindor gaped with appalled looked and walked away quickly, staring at each other and at her. The DA members treated her with a mix of pity, rage, shock and pride. Seamus and Michael Corner yelled at the Death Eaters who were guarding her to release her, and Ginny had to see them get punished for it. Neville looked at her sorrowfully, closing and opening his mouth, wanting to say something but not knowing what he could possibly say. Ginny gave him a gentle look, and before the Death Eaters drove him away with treats, she saw him mouth silently, "Stay strong..."

At breakfast, Ginny heard Snape speak to the students, who were listening to him in a dead silence: "The student who is chained outside the hall is being punished for a severe crime. In her vanity, she had tried to break into a teacher's office and rob him of his personal property for the sole benefit of her own enrichment. She shall stay there, and the punishment shall continue until she expresses enough remorse for her actions, and until her comrades stop pulling dangerous and childish pranks that ruin this ancient castle and violate our daily routine."

Ginny had some quiet during the morning, since all the students were in class. Some Death Eaters amused themselves with cursing her until they were called to deal with a disciplinary problem in one of the classrooms and left in disappointment.

During lunch she received a number of spits from strange students and a slap from a Slytherin who called her names and blamed her for everything that was happening. She absorbed all that in silence, surprised by her own apathy and her ability to pretend that she was merely a spectator to the wretched, humiliated creature bound to the floor. Maybe it was because she knew that no matter what they did to her, she would never regret what she did, and would take every opportunity to escape and break into Lestrange's office for the third time, this time to free Betty. The encouraging glances she got from DA members who passed through to the Great Hall filled her with renewed hope each time after she had suffered a verbal or magical abuse, a spit or a kick.

Before dinner (Ginny still hadn't received any kind of food, but in any case she felt a tremendous disgust that wouldn't have allowed her to eat) she saw Ursula. The girl looked like a boy dressed up as a school girl, carrying a number of thick books close to her breast. Ginny was surprised when she dared to come close to her, despite the Death Eaters in the Hall, who had prevented it from all her allies during the day. But they were engrossed in a game of dice and didn't notice her, or maybe they just assumed that since she was a Slytherin she was only interested in torturing her a bit, and that was all right.

She stood over her, behaving naturally, as if she had bumped into her by chance on the way to dinner.

"How are you getting along?"

"Could be better," Ginny replied. That was the first time she had spoken since the torture the night before, and she realized her throat was dry and hurting and her voice hoarse, as if she had been screaming for hours. "You still want to switch places with me?"

"Less than before, but the answer is still yes."

"Hey, you!" The Death Eaters noticed that Ursula was talking to Ginny. She ignored them.

"Why?" Ginny asked bitterly. "Would you like to be here instead of me? Does it look fun to you?"

"Hey, no talking to the prisoner! You hear me?"

Ursula glanced toward the approaching Death Eater as if he were nothing more than an annoying fly.

"I'll tell you some other time. Soon," she said and walked away.

The days passed. Students and teachers and Death Eaters went through the hall every day, going in and out of the Great Hall, looking at her, sometimes spitting and cursing, sometimes smiling in pity, noticing her less and less as time passed.

Then curfew would come, and Ginny would be left alone again in the dark. Every night she felt as if years had passed since the night before. She would lie on the floor, but she would rarely fall asleep for more than a few hours. The hunger and the thirst that the tiny food portions wouldn't suffice troubled her, the weariness drove her mad, and the fear, the humiliation, and the pain pecked like noisy birds in her head, never letting her rest. At first she had refused to take food from the Death Eaters, but it wasn't long before she couldn't stand the emptiness in her stomach anymore; Then she would cup the food expectantly when it reached her and nibble it carefully, like a frightened little animal.

She would bury her head between her arms and forced herself to think encouraging thoughts. After the first few days, the hopes that Neville and the other DA members would free her had lost their taste, so she started looking for sources of comfort that couldn't be taken away so easily.

Harry was the first thing she thought about. She decided to stop fighting the memories and the dreams because they were far better than reality. She relived every moment, even the most insignificant, she could remember from her time with him, from the first ones to the very last. She conjured the happy moments when she had realized that he had a smile that was meant only for her, the quiet moments in when he told her how beautiful she was to him. She remembered the moments of passion, when she realized how much she loved him, and how much he loved her, and the gloomy moments when he would sink into a melancholic, thoughtful silence that even her kisses couldn't pull him put of. These thoughts warmed her heart from the inside, though outside it was still frozen. She could pretend that it never ended between them – that every minute he would break in and save her, as always, despite her constant refusal to be the damsel in distress. Because in the end, she could never resist him. Not when she proved to herself, time after time, that she wasn't strong enough to save herself.

She had lost the count of nights in which she was bound to the wall, when an unusual occurrence disturbed her routine of despair. In the darkness, she noticed a movement on the far side of the hall. At first she thought she was imagining it. But it wasn't a dream; Someone was moving toward her with no sound, as if on the paws of a cat. The person didn't seem threatening, so Ginny just watched him move in the dark. As he approached her, the faint moonlight that entered the hall illuminated the figure. It was Ursula, carrying a picnic basket.

"Good night," she greeted her naturally.

"What are you doing here?" Ginny asked incredulously. Her voice, now used only to shout from pain, was rough and broken.

"I promised you an answer to the question of why I would have wanted to take your place. I keep my promises." She sat down next to Ginny, as if she weren't tied at all, but sitting with her in a perfectly innocent picnic in the moonlight. "I brought some refreshments. I didn't know what you liked, so I brought a little bit of everything... Excuse me if I'm too excited, the truth is that I don't get to have conversations with real people on a regular basis. Not with their consent, anyway."

Ginny would have talked to everyone and eaten anything at that moment. Ursula, who actually didn't look excited at all, took two beautiful crystal glasses out of the basket and filled them with a rosy liquid. Ginny gulped two whole glasses of the sweet liquid before she quenched her thirst, then watched Ursula fill her glass for the third time and turn to arrange fresh colorful cakes on a floral plate.

"Aren't you afraid they'll catch you?" Ginny asked, nibbling a biscuit. It was the most delicious pastry she'd ever had in her life.

"Not at all. I'm in Slytherin, and I have a perfectly clean record. If I get caught I'll probably be punished, but it won't be so bad. Not like this, anyway – " She gestured to the shackles as if they were nothing special, like a cheap jewelry.

They ate the cakes and fruit that Ursula brought silently for a few minutes. Ginny filled up quickly, as if her stomach was suddenly smaller, and after a few minutes she turned to lean against the wall and watch Ursula.

The girl tolerated her gaze for a while, then said, "Do you find me interesting?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare – "

"It's fine. Answer my question."

Ginny wasn't sure how to react. "I think you're... Unusual."

"Worthy response," Ursula praised her calmly. "I know it's sincere. As I've told you, when you look like me, you learn to use your senses more effectively –  including the sixth sense, which allows me to know when a person is telling the truth."

"That sounds useful."

"It is. And it's not just with words. I can see a couple of lovers, and know whether he really loves her or just wants a trophy, and whether she really loves him, or is just looking for a status. I know when a student obeys the Death Eaters out of fear, or out of a genuine desire. It comes from reading. I read a lot, and that how I study human nature."

"That's... an interesting hobby."

"You're lying. You think I'm strange."

Ginny felt the edge of a smile tickling her lips. That girl might have been genuinely insane, but oddly, she was the best company that she had had in a long time. She was acting as if everything was alright, and that she truly believed it was. It reminded Ginny of Luna, and the thought gave her comfort.

"You're right. I'm sorry," she said honestly.

"Don't be sorry. I owe you, in a way. I've been studying you for a while."

Ginny wasn't exactly surprised. On a normal day she might have felt uneasy, but it wasn't one of those days.

"For how long?"

"A little over a year. From last fall. In fact, at first I didn't think you would be interesting at all. I knew your face from every center of social activity in school. You seemed like someone that dispenses her feelings unconsciously, and such people are rarely interesting. But then Harry Potter became interested in you. And since I was interested in Harry Potter – whom I think is a tragic figure at its best – I became interested in you too. After very little watching, I understood why he was giving you these distant looks, and what was the meaning of the spark in his eyes when he spoke to you. Under the whole social show, you had the potential of a true literary heroine."

"You were following Harry? Following both of us?"

"I don't define what I do as following. I was conducting a study," Ursula said without a trace of embarrassment. "A study of human emotion and behavior."

"So why did you say you wanted to take my place? Because of Harry – ?"

"Merlin, no! Have you ever seen a Healer fall in love with the disease he's studying? A Herbalist that that is attracted to a plant that he cultivates? No, I have no such affection for the people I'm studying. But you – you have so hidden depth. You are an inexhaustible fountain of frenzy and emotion. There is so much war inside you that I think even you don't know the true depth of your own personality. Behind the average temperament girl who gets everything she wants lies the figure of a desperate human who lives in constant fear, seeking restlessly a refuge for her pain and fear, which is always so close..."

Ginny concluded that Ursula was definitely insane. She was sitting right next to her, how could she talk about her like a character form a book? In a way it was the coldest thing someone could do.

Swiped by her own enthusiasm, Ursula went on the confess, "Sometimes I pick up a quill and write about you. Not stories or plots, just what I've learned about your character, piece by piece. Your own character is a story, unfolding and twisting as the plot progresses, yet remains wrapped around its original and stable spine. I hope I'm not alarming you?"

"You're scaring me a little," Ginny admitted, because she knew the other girl valued honesty more than anything.

"I apologize. I wouldn't have told you all this if there wasn't a purpose for it. No, I'm not going to give you words of encouragement or advice. I have real help for you."

Suspicion had arisen in Ginny like a snake's head. She didn't know how much Ursula had discovered about her place in the DA and the Order of the Phoenix from her mysterious surveillance; It could be a trap, she might have been sent by Lestrange to learn the resistance's secrets.

"I know I don't encourage confidence," Ursula continued in her pointed, businesslike manner. "But I can prove to you that my intentions are good. I've already helped you twice before."

Ginny knew at once what she was talking about, but wasn't about to let herself be tricked. "Go on," she said carefully, wanting to see how much she knows.

"I gave you a clue in the form of a note that yours and Harry Potter's favorite secret passage hadn't been discovered yet, and that it could be used actively. I couldn't risk that the message would be revealed, so I encrypted it in the last date you both visited there. I knew it, I had been watching you that day."

The pieces of the puzzle began to come together. Ginny motioned for her to continue.

"And when I found out about your plan to help muggle- born students escape, I knew you would never succeed when the Death Eaters were on guard, so I created a diversion, not a very sophisticated one, but it was good enough."

"Could you help me the third time?" Asked Ginny, excitement and hope building up inside her. "Could you help me escape?"

"Not tonight. But I won't let a personality like yours go to waste. I guaranty that you'll soon be free to live your life. Your story isn't over yet."

 

 


	21. Off With Her Head!

_"'They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is that there's anyone left alive!'"_

Ginny had lost sense of time while she was chained to the castle's ancient stones. She couldn't keep track of the days and nights, which had mixed up into one single slab of misery, as she spent her days in a haze. Had it been a month since she had been imprisoned? She couldn't have been there for so long without anyone coming to get her. Maybe three weeks? Two weeks? Perhaps only a few days, which seemed endless to her?

It wasn't long before her presence had become part of the scenery, like a portrait or a suit of armor. Lestrange and Snape seemed to have completely forgotten about her, and her friends' compassion had already become so cheap that it was almost like not being noticed at all. The only ones who seemed to notice her were the frightened house- elves, who appeared on unexpected nights and gave her a little food or a damp cloth to clean her face and filthy hands, and the castle ghosts, who would sometimes keep her company. But they had difficulty understanding her suffering after such a long time of freedom from their physical bodies, and she couldn't take interest in their old, silly stories.

She hadn't been alone in her prison for the whole duration of the sentence, though. From time to time the Death Eaters would bound another girl or boy to the far wall; they would respond in tears and pleads, or in screams that would soon turn into tears anyway. Ginny wouldn't have spoken to any of them, even if she could; They didn't want anything to do with someone as hated as her, and she wasn't interested in their company anyway.

The most resilient prisoner, a seventh year from Hufflepuff, had managed to survive for a few days before he too, like everyone else, pleaded for forgiveness and admitted to his crime with. Weaker students succumbed after less than twenty-four hours; One of them begged to kiss Snape's shoes, and one engraved the Dark Mark on her wrists with her fingernails to prove to Lestrange that she had learned her lesson. Students like that would come to humiliate Ginny almost immediately after their release.

Soon Ginny came to the clear conclusion that she deserved to be punished. Not because she had rebelled – she wasn't that broken yet – but for her immense stupidity and lack of proper planning. She should have been more cunning, wiser and better in all ways possible, and it was only for this enormous flaw in her personality that she deserved to be punished in such a cruel way. Ursula said she would have wanted to be her, and Ginny thought she would have given anything to become the ugly, strange Ursula who ate three meals a day, slept in her bed every night, and was almost – almost –  free.

She began to think that Lestrange had really decided to keep her rotting there forever, until the second and critical phase of her punishment started. It happened at night. All through that day a sense of thrill filled the air, and she knew that something important was about to happen. Her guess was confirmed when late at night, despite curfew, all the of the students were brought to the Great Hall, dressed in their uniforms. They were arranged in flawless straight columns in front of the castle door, which was left wide open for the cold night the creep in.

A crisp wind blew from the lake, struggling against the flickering flames of the torches that lit the hall. Many of the students trembled, while Ginny relished on the frozen air. She hadn't felt a fresh wind against her skin for what had seemed like years; She wanted not only to feel it, but to taste and smell it as well. She felt, with an almost animal instinct, that winter was almost over.

She knew what was going to come before she saw it. The students and teachers, as well as the Death Eaters, tensed. Many turned pale. In compered to the terrified reactions, the thin, hooded figure that walked in looked almost wretched.

Voldemort arrived accompanied by six Death Eaters, who followed him in two equal rows. A huge snake rested on his thin shoulders comfortably, and a slender white hand stroked its dark scales lazily.

Snape faced his master, accompanied by Lestrange and the Carrows. The four of them kneeled, and the students and teachers mimicked them in surrender.

"It is an indescribable honor to entertain you at our humble school, our Lord and Master," Snape said to the marble floor in a steady voice.

"Rise." The voice that came from under the hood was high and whispering, very quiet, but it could be heard clearly across the hall.

The snake suddenly raised its head, and Ginny felt a chill as the red, slited eyes met hers. The snake slid from its master's shoulders and began crawling across the floor, toward her. She gasped and crept in the opposite direction, clinging to the wall.

"I hope you will be pleased with the institute we have built here, my Lord," Snape continued, now on his feet.

Voldemort nodded, looking toward his snake. For a moment half of his white face was illuminated; The skull-like face was wrapped in dead skin, like a rotting corpse, and one red eye, slited and full of menace, burned in them. He whispered. The snake halted, gazing at Ginny with hunger, and crawled back.

Voldemort was led up the stairs, the whole school after him; Only then did Ginny realize how hard her heart was beating her chest.

That afternoon two Death Eaters disconnected her chains from the wall. Ginny watched them in disbelief as they pulled her violently to her feet. But her legs failed when she tried to walk, limp after an eternity of sitting on the floor, and they had to drag her away.

They took her to Lestrange's office. The knot in her stomach loosened only when she realized that he wasn't there. They dragged her on the expensive rugs and threw her into a side room as if she were a bag of filth, then left.

Ginny struggled to sit up, sliding on the slippery marble floor. She realized that she was in a lavish bathroom with a large golden bath in the middle, with a wonderful smell of soap and perfumes all around her.

Betty was there. She knelt beside Ginny, who was too stunned to speak, and used a key to free her from the shackles. She felt like crying with joy when they hit the floor with a bang; Her bloody wrists and ankles suddenly felt as light as feathers.

The first thing she did with her new freedom was to leap on Betty and hug her. She released her after a moment, realizing that her friend wasn't hugging her back, and studyed her. She was wearing a simple white dress that looked especially bright and beautiful against her grayish skin, on which the marks and scratches had healed, leaving behind yellowish stains. Blue capillaries stood out, bright as jewles, on her pale arms and expressionless face. She was clean and could move freely, though a thin silver chain was still wrapped around her ankles.

"I wanted to come back for you..." Ginny's voice cracked from disuse and relief.

"I know," said Betty blankly. Her eyes were dead. "But you got caught. He told me."

"You're not mad at me, right? You don't hate me?"

"No. I don't hate anyone."

"I... Thanks... But we have to get out of here..."

"There's no escape," Betty said calmly. "You can only get caught in the trap. It's better to live with what is given to us than to die without it. You'll understand. Everything will be alright."

And before Ginny's eyes, she took another silver chain out of her apron pocket. She wrapped it around Ginny's ankles, and it shone and locked with a click. Ginny tried to kick if off, but she only managed to wound her ankles even more.

"Betty, what – ? Why – ?"

Betty tied the other end around Ginny's wrists, limiting her movement completely.

"If you're good, he'll free your hands. He's freed mine. Look how good he is to you – he brought you here to bathe. He hadn't been so kind to me after just one lesson."

She stripped Ginny out of her filthy school uniform and guided her into the bath, which was full of soapy hot water. The water were almost burning against her dirty skin. Betty began scrubbing her, and Ginny watched her, too stunned to respond or resist.

Only when she was out of the water, her skin and hair as clean as they haven't been in forever, and Betty wrapped her in the softest towel, she found the words to tell her, "I'll free you. I know you don't really agree with him... "

"It's all right," Betty said. For a moment a shadow of a smile seemed to creep across her china- doll face. "I have a plan."

"An escape plan?"

"Yes. Soon. Don't worry about me, I'll be all right. Now we have to make you nice and clean for the Dark Lord tonight. We have been honored to serve the drinks. It's so nice of them to gibe us a second chance, don't you think?"

Ginny didn't say anything, shocked and disgusted by what her friend had turned into, and full of hope to witness the girl's plan. Betty dressed her in a white dress similar to hers, then left her alone. She walked over to the mirror, limping as the chain cut her already wounded skin, and looked at her reflection.

She was thin as a skeleton, her skin was a sickly grayish- blue, her eyes heavy and puffy. Even her freckles looked pale, her hair had lost its vitality, and her lips were dry and cracked. She looked like a broken person, and the helplessness of it was unbearable. On an impulse of wild rage, she grabbed an ivory hairbrush and hit her face in the mirror. The mirror cracked with a chilling sound, and Ginny's reflection broke. She had heard that breaking a mirror would bring seven years of bad luck, but she didn't think her luck could get any worse.

 

That evening a festive gathering was help in the Headmaster's office in the honor of Lord Voldemort, who himself had decided to take care of other business and didn't bother to appear.

Ginny walked around barefoot with a tray of drinks, trying very hard not to limp, to spare herself unpleasant curses from guests who didn't like the way she walked. Betty, on the other hand, did the job with frightening professionalism. She walked as if the chain was a beautiful piece of jewelry, smiled at the insults hurled at her, took punishment with understanding and swore not to repeat the mistake again. Ginny was nauseated by her presence.

The Death Eaters often ignored her, except for random comments exchanged during conversations about the nature of her family's blood treacherousness; Lestrange told his guests about her as if she were some elaborate invention he had created, and Snape ignored her completely. Slughorn, who had also been invited, looked at her with sadness and shame, and she, in turn, glared at him through her hair.

A number of Slytherins had been invited to the party as well, and they seemed very pleased about it. Among them was Ursula, looking extremely masculine in a black velvet woman's dress robe, and an elegant tight hairstyle that accentuated her square jaw. She acted as if she didn't know Ginny at all. When she tried to catch her eye once, she looked back sharply and said, "What are you looking at, traitor?" With tone that made in clear that Ginny should stay away from her at all costs.

Draco Malfoy was also at the party. He stood alone at the edge of a group of older people who were deep in conversation, looking around with a bored look, his leg tapping nervously. From time to time he would try to join the conversation, but would be pushed aside by someone else. Then he would make a great show of gulping his drink, or would busy himself by ordering Ginny or Betty to bring him something.

"A Dragon Tonic," he said to Ginny arrogantly, motioning at her lazily.

"We don't have any," she said.

"So go and fetch some," he said threateningly, like a puppy showing its teeth.

"Sorry," she said, turning away. "It's not my job – "

He garbed her arm with a force that almost made her drop the tray.

"Listen carefully, blood traitor," he snarled, his alcohol-soaked breath hitting her face. "Your job is to do as **I** tell you, is that clear?"

Ginny opened her mouth to answer brusquely, but Betty intervened: "I'll take care of that, Mr. Malfoy," she assured nervously. "Please don't hurt her, she doesn't understand..."

Malfoy let Ginny go and spat on her bare legs. "She really doesn't," he growled, but didn't impress Ginny at all. "And you – hurry up already!"

"You don't have to let him treat you like that," she said to Betty as she headed for the door vigorously. "He's not Lestrange – "

The other girl looked at her strangely. Ginny wondered what was wrong with her now.

"It'll be all right, Ginny," she said in total serenity, giving a very odd smile, "Go back to work."

But it wasn't all right. Lestrange searched for her with a murderous look from the moment she had left the room, and when she came back he grabbed her hard and slapped her. She dropped the bottle of tonic, which smashed by her legs and cut them.

"You're disappointing me," he said to her, holding her face violently, and the whole room fell silent and watched him. "I have forbidden you to leave without my permission, isn't it so?"

"Master – "

He crushed her face in his hand and growled into her face, "Isn't it?"

"It is, it is..." She began to cry. "Please, punish me... I deserve it..."

"Certainly," he said stiffly, pushing her away. Ursula, who hadn't left Lestrange's side through the whole evening, as if she was some kind of silent shadow, caught her.

"Take her to her room, dear," Lestrange told her nonchalantly, as if he hadn't been shouting a moment ago, and sipped his drink coolly. "I'll take care of her later."

Ursula nodded coldly and dragged Betty away. Ginny watched her, realizing at once what she had to do.

She waited a while, as to not arouse suspicion. Ursula came back after a short while and became Lestrange's shadow again.

Finally she saw an opportunity. She heard Macnair, who was standing at a center of a crowd of riveted listeners, condemning Harry enthusiastically. She approached him, patted him on the back, and when he turned she slammed the tray in his face.

He fell back with a cry of pain, holding his cut face while alcohol and blood washed over them. A few arms came to support him immediately.

"Don't you dare talk about him like that!" Ginny yelled at him at the top of her lungs. "He's twice the man you'll ever be – !"

Just as she had expected, the Cruciatus knocked off her feet with unbearable pain. She swallowed the pain nonetheless, because in her heart she knew she would soon be free.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Lestrange said with a deep sigh of disappointment. "You're far from finishing your education, Miss Weasley. You're rude, and your discipline is terrible. But you'll give in soon. Ursula – if you will."

Ursula held her in an iron grip. Ginny made a great show of wrestling with the larger girl; In return, Ursula grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled it cruelly as she dragged her, yelling and struggling, out of the office.

She pulled her through the corridors for a while. At some point Ginny was afraid she might have been wrong – maybe Ursula was really working for Lestrange – but then Ursula released her. As they were standing alone in the dark corridor, Ginny realized that the girl she had known not so long ago would never have done something like that.

"I stole it from his office," she said, taking a glass knife out of a silk-lined box. "People hide things in such obvious places..."

She cut the chain with a swift motion and it melted away, cool against Ginny charred skin.

"You're acting as if it were easy," she said to her savior breathlessly, still not quite realizing she's free.

"It's wasn't as hard as I expected it to bt, that's for sure," Ursula said with a shrug. "But it had been a unique experience. Professor Lestrange is a fascinating person – cruel, but fascinating – to someone who has the courage to get close to him... Where exactly are you going?"

"To free Betty," said Ginny, already walking fast down the corridor.

For the first time since she'd met her, Ursula had expressed an emotion that looked like apprehension.

"They're going to come get you out of the school any minute now," she said, following her quickly. "They won't be able to wait long, they can't risk their passage being reveled. And if you get caught – "

"Don't worry, Ursula," said Ginny, feeling for the first time in forever that she was herself again. "It's going to be an amazing experience. You'll see, you'll write a story about it one day." And she started running.

She was surprised at the speed with which her thin limbs could move. A few hours earlier she hadn't been able to stand, and now she was cut through the black corridors, light as a doe, holding on to the hem of her dress to keep it out of her way.

She arrived at the office with marvelous speed. Ursula came shortly after her, panting heavily.

"I wouldn't have done it for anyone," she blurted out, pulling a key out of her pocket, "But for you..."

The office was completely silent and dark except for a single candle on the desk. Ginny wasted no time and walked straight into the dark bedroom, not about to fail again.

"I'm here, Betty, like I promised – "

The words died in her throat and she stilled. A half-moon peered through the window curiously at the beautiful girl lying on the bed, her white dress wrapped around her softly and her hair spread gracefully over the pillows. She was glamorous, almost sensual, like a bride on her wedding night. Her eyes watched the moon calmly, and a sad little smile froze on her, all the pain and fear washed from them by the silvery light.

Ginny remembered what Lestrange had told her the night he first tried to break her – he said the moon had a calming effect on girls her age. But it had no such effect on Ginny, because from that night on that light reminded her only of the brightness of Betty Ogden's dead body on the bed where she had suffered so much pain.

"Poison," noted Ursula, stirring with her foot in the contents of a smashed glass goblet the was scattered on the floor by the bed. "How tragic..."

"She said she had a way out." Ginny could have sworn she wasn't the one who spoke.

"Well, it is an escape, in a way," Ursula said, examining Betty's body with disturbing curiosity. "Nothing can hurt you when you're dead."

Ginny still hadn't fully comprehended what had happened. Something in her told her that in another minute Betty would get up and continue to live her miserable life, but something else tried to make her understand that this was the end of Betty Ogden. All her efforts were in vain – all the consolations weren't worth a piece of dirt. And in fact, all this was her fault; If she had persuaded her to go to the Yule Ball, she wouldn't have stayed at school in the holiday, and maybe Lestrange wouldn't have taken her. Except that she – Ginny – should have stopped him a long time ago, months ago, and then all this wouldn't have happened... She should have done so much more...

"We have leave immediately," Ursula's voice barely penetrated her thoughts. "Your rescue will leave in a few more minutes. We need to meet then at the second meeting point, or we'll miss them."

They came for her. At last, they came for her. But why hadn't anyone come for Betty?...

Ursula took her hand and pulled her out of the bedroom. Ginny shook her off after a few steps, grabbed the candle on the table, and with the hot wax dripping on her skin, ran into the bedroom and threw it on the bed, which caught on fire instantly.

She vaguely realized that Ursula was condemning her for the stupid act. She barely felt her dragging her out of the room, aware only of the rising flames, consuming the bedclothes and the mattress, and Betty's body, the licking flames reflected in her eyes.

One they were outside, Ursula began to run. Ginny discovered that her eyes were watering, and assumed that it was because of the stinking smoke that burst out of the office, where the fire had spread horribly fast.

The alertness was low that night, as most of the Death Eaters spent their time enjoying the party. Perhaps no one expected that someone would be stupid enough to make trouble when Voldemort was around. Ursula was panting hard all the way, slowing down and picking up the pace and slowing down again, glancing at her watch every few seconds. If Ginny had bothered to take interest in her condition, she would have found her looking uncharacteristically worried – a strong emotion of fear dominated her usually indifferent face.

The were Death Eaters on the second floor. They noticed Ginny and Ursula running on the other side of the hallway, and as they gulped the main stairs with fanatic speed, they heard them yelling and chasing after them.

They reached the front door and Ursula pulled. The door did not open. The door was stuck. Horrified by the thought that she was trapped, Ginny quickly added her strength to the effort. The door opened to a narrow slit, and they slipped through just before a number of curses wounded the ancient wood.

The dark lawns spread all around them, and they kept on running on the wet grass, slipping and tumbling. More than once Ginny tripped over the edge of her dress and hit the muddy ground with all her body. Most of the time Ursula kept running without noticing her fall. But any anger at her was instantly replaced by the realization that she couldn't go back to Hogwarts after what she, Ginny, had done to Lestrange's office when she was under the other girl's supervision.

Curses illuminated the darkness around them. But the Death Eaters were far away, having trouble running down the slippery slope and aiming in the dark of night. The moon hid behind a great cloud, as if it had its own will to help them.

At some point, Ursula swerved sideways and began burrowing in the bushes, muttering to herself. She stumbled on a jagged rock and called in pain, but didn't stop her search. Ginny stood by, covered in sweat that was rapidly cooling in the wind, panting. She looked back in fear.

"Ursula, what – ?"

"Why isn't it here? It has to be here!" She went down on her hands and knees in the bushes and began feeling the ground. "No! They've left!" She roared wildly and hit the ground.

"They're over there!"

"Ursula, we have to – "

"Over here!"

Ginny tried to figure out where the voice came from. Ursula crept deeper into the bushes, and Ginny, with a last look at the distant silhouettes of their pursuers, hurried after her. Ursula suddenly disappeared. Ginny searched for her in the bushes when a strong, bony hand garbed her ankle. She screamed, then fell.

Somebody caught her in the dark and put her trembling legs on a hard floor. There was a metallic sound above her, then silence, broken only by heavy breathing in the dark.

After a while, her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness; A faint light from the night sky illuminated the shape of heavy iron bars above her head. Beside her she could see the general shape of Ursula, and in a slice of an old, bearded face, with one clear, serious eye fixed in it. She opened her mouth, and he motioned to her to be quiet.

Someone was walking in the bushes above them. Words were exchanged. Ginny's heart was beating hard as a shadow fell on the bars, and calmed down only when she heard words of despair and footsteps moving away.

Someone touched her. She turned and saw a piece of Bill's scarred face; Almost at that moment she was in his arms.

"Who is this?" Asked Kingsley's deep voice in the darkness.

"I'm the one who saved her," Ursula said desperately, still breathing hard. "You owe me. Let me come with you."

"What do you say, Aberforth?" Kingsley said. "It's your secret passage, after all."

"Let her come," said the old man from the Hog's- Head.

And before Ginny knew, she came out of the passageway in the Hog's- Head, and a few minutes later she was home.


	22. Too Big For This House

_"She went on growing, and growing..."_

As April came around, all that remained of the war was an ongoing bloody struggle between the Ministry of Magic and a small group of stubborn rebels. It seemed that the people had sunk into some kind of defeated complacency, assuming the new authority and the laws that had been imposed on them. Perhaps some of them have already begun to believe that they have been indeed legislated for their own good, and that their status as wizards was the most precious part of their existence, much more important than being a human being.

One day Ginny had realized that she wasn't just hiding in her childhood home because of bad people who wanted to hurt her – she had become the villain, a member of a gang of violent terrorists. She was the one who was running away from the law, while the true criminals were walking free.

She found herself thinking about Sirius Black many times during the weeks of confinement at her childhood home. Would she also become desperate and withdrawn as he had been after the prolonged confinement? She wanted to think she could get out long before she became a shadow of herself, but the sight of her father fading more and more everyday as he came back home from the Ministry and her brothers' somber stories about what was happening outside gave her a foreboding feeling that the war wasn't going to end soon.

She spent March in quarantine, watching the rain flood the fields outside the house. She had been ill for weeks after her escape from Hogwarts, as if her body had finally given in to the torture. Her mother nursed her day and night, never talking about what she had been through. Ginny was glad for that – she wasn't sure she would ever be ready to talk about that. All the days were gray and dull, so identical that even the comforting warmth and light of the burning fire in the fireplace couldn't keep away the sense of eternal frost in the family home, once such a cheerful place. There were days when the helplessness and tension grew to the point where Ginny longed to return to Hogwarts, only to feel that she was doing something meaningful – fighting the Death Eaters shoulder to shoulder with Neville, Seamus and Luna, and even Dean. But at nights she would think of Rabstan Lestrange and Betty's body lying on the bed, and would immediately regret that desire.

With the beginning of April came a winter sun that blinked through the clouds, together with and cold, fresh nights – then came Ginny's first chance to leave the house since February. In a different family home a thin shower watered a countryside garden, and up the stairs a new life was coming into the world.

A sudden scream startled Ginny and she almost hit her head on the mantelpiece in Andromeda Tonks's kitchen.

"That sounds serious," Charlie's head said from the flames. It was the first time in days she had seen his face; Most of the time he was busy doin work for the Order, absent from the house for days on end. "Is it supposed to end soon?"

"Mom says there's not much time left," Ginny said, hoping that it was true. Tonks sounded like she was ongoing severe suffering; Ginny toyed with the thought that one day she would go through that, too. "You want to talk to her?"

"No, it's fine. She should stay with Tonks." Another scream of pain from the second floor confirmed the assumption. "Anyway, let us know when she's done. The twins have some kind of gift for them..."

"Do you think it's safe?" Asked Ginny. Recently, the twins had been working on slightly more serious tricks for their store, and sometimes the sounds that came from their room made her suspect that they were developing weapons rather than tricks.

"I really don't know. But Mom won't let them do something dangerous when there's a baby around. Do want me to tell your friend anything?"

Ginny's "friend" was the nickname the Weasleys gave Ursula, who hardly spoke a word to any of them, nor to Ginny. She spent the days going through the family's modest library, shut up in Bill's old room, barely coming out to eat. Ginny pushed aside an inner voice that told her that the other girl was mad at her for leaving her no choice but to run away from the school and go into hiding with her, forcing her to abandon her books and her writings. She can't possibly want to go back, Ginny told herself – no sane person would really want to go back there, not after he had escaped.

"No, thanks."

"Alright. So keep us posted." Charlie winked and his head disappeared from the flames.

Ginny got up from the floor and went to the bottom of the stairs. There was something very daunting about the pain filled voices the came from above, yet Ginny's curiosity pushed her to go up there.

The light was on in Tonks' room, pouring through the half-closed door. A few voices could be heard speaking at the same time, over a painful sob. Ginny heard her mother say, "Just a little more... That's it, dear..."

A thin shriek broke out of the room. The voice evoked a vague feeling in Ginny's heart, making her move toward the light with newfound curiosity and desire. She knocked on the door, but it seemed that the people inside were too fascinated by what was happening to notice. Instead of waiting for an invitation, she stuck her head inside.

Tonks was in her bed, slumped on the pillows. Shaggy brown hairs stuck to her sweaty, pale face – she was smiling, tired but pleased. Her husband was sitting beside her, one arm wrapped around her and the other holding her hand, looking no less tired and excited than her.

Ginny watched Tonks' mother wrap the howling baby in a soft blanket in admirable gentleness and hand him carefully to her daughter, her eyes full of tears of happiness. Tonks took her baby with trembling hands, smiling lovingly at him, then looked up at her husband. Remus smiled at her, excited like a boy, and kissed her head before the two of them turned back to admiring their baby.

Ginny's mother had just finished cleaning, her sleeves rolled up and her face flushed and sweaty with excitement and concentration. Perhaps it was the general feeling of excitement in the room, or that the birth had reminded her of how she had borne her own children, because the moment she saw Ginny she pulled her into a loving embrace. Ginny hugged her back, not able to remember the last time she had felt so much love for her.

"It's a boy," her mother told her, wiping a tear from her eye. "A sweet and healthy boy..."

Ginny came over and put a hand on Andromeda's shoulder, who was looking at her daughter and grandson with joy mixed with sadness. "Congratulations, Grany."

The woman she had met only a few hours earlier gave her a great smile that made her look a dozen years younger and hugged her as if they were old friends. "Thank you, dear, thank you..."

After they broke apart they both bent over to examine the baby's face. They were small, pink and wrinkled, his eyes closed in the comfort and safety of his mother's arms. A thin plume of soft black hair covered his scalp, and his tiny hands were clenched into small fists that could easily disappear into Ginny's hand. He wasn't particularly beautiful at that moment, but his helplessness made him incredibly sweet and adorable.

Under the gazes of all the spectators he then opened a pair of large, veiled eyes, as dark as his mother's, and looked around blindly before closing them again.

"How are you going to call him?" Ginny broke the peaceful silence.

"We thought about Ted," Tonks said, her voice a little hoarse but happy, looking at her mother. "After dad."

"That would be wonderful," Andromeda said, eyes tearing. She gently touched her grandson's hair. "Ted... Teddy Lupin..."

Soon the emotional moment that came at the sight of the new baby turned into cheerfulness. Ginny's mother served the cakes and biscuits she had brought from the Burrow and Andromeda made strong sweet tea, while Ginny stayed to keep Tonks, who claimed she was too excited to sleep, company. Little Teddy, who had just come into the world, already began to change the color of his hair and eyes to all the colors of the rainbow. Remus put on his coat, realized that he put his arm in the wrong sleeve, re-arranged it, and kissed his wife and son for the last time before he went to tell everyone that Tonks had given birth to a boy.

To Ginny's surprise, spending the evening with the other three women and the baby in Tonks' room was the most fun she had had in a long time. She always thought that women's talk were dull and stupid, but that evening left her with a wonderful impression and raised her spirits. Perhaps it was because of the intense loneliness of late, or simply because she was no longer a girl, but a woman.

The Burrow had probably been one of Remus' first stops, because shortly after he had left Fred and George arrived. It turned out that their gift was a huge magical mobile – a dozen colorful balls lights of various sizes that floated in the air, flickering like little stars. Teddy's eyes, which were now blue, followed the lights curiously as the twins hung their gift over his cradle.

The evening turned into night. Tonks fed Teddy and held him until he fell asleep, even though her own eyes had also begun to close. She asked her mother to take him from her, but refused to sleep before her husband returned.

"Say goodnight to Aunt Ginny," she said to her son sweetly before handing him over. Ginny stroked his soft hair, which had turned into a pale greenish color like his eyes, before he was taken into his cradle, and remained to keep Tonks company. She had reluctantly fallen asleep a long time before Remus came back.

A few hours after he had gone he arrived in the kitchen, where Ginny and her mother were sitting, his coat smudged with rain and his hair damp. He swayed lighty as he walked, exhausted but happy. Ginny's mother offered him something to eat, and he declined politely.

"Tonks and the baby are asleep," she reported as she set before him a cup of tea in spite of his refusal. "Andromeda also went to rest. She was so anxious that something would go wrong, it must have exhausted her completely, the poor woman..."

"Where were you?" Asked Ginny, thirsty for news from the outside world.

"At yours, at Kingsley's, Hestia's..." Remus said, finishing the tea in a few long gulps. "I was at Bill's, too. I saw Ron and Hermione, and Harry."

Ginny's mother missed the rack above the fireplace and the kettle hit the floor with a tremendous bang. Remus got up to help her clean up. Ginny, fascinated by the news, followed and continued to question him.

"They're with Bill?"

"Yes, for a couple of weeks now, apparently."

"He didn't say anything to us..."

"Naturally. They can't risk that someone's listening to your Floo, which is very likely. The Death Eaters haven't given up on finding them yet."

"How are they? Are they alright?" Ginny's mother asked quickly, cleaning up without paying attention.

"Safe and sound. Luna Lovegood and Dean Thomas are hiding there too, they're all fine."

Suddenly Ginny felt like a dreamer who realizes that he's dreaming but can't, or won't, wake up. Luna escaped the Death Eaters? Dean wasn't caught? Harry, Ron, and Hermione are still on their mysterious mission to end the war? All that combined with the thought about Remus' and Tonks' small, pure baby made her want to cry for joy.

"What are they going to do now?" She asked Remus.

"I didn't ask them," he answered. "We decided not to darken the mood... Anyway, I asked Harry to be Teddy's godfather."

"That's a wonderful choice," said Ginny's mother, who herself seemed on the brink of tears. "He deserves a family, after all he's been through..." She blew her nose.

Ginny pictured Harry holding baby Teddy in his arms, swinging him in the air like an infant, teaching him to play Quidditch as a child, seeing him off to Hogwarts at the age of 11. She felt an ominous mix of happiness and sadness at the thought that so many people loved that baby, and that he had so much to lose.

"I should go upstairs," Remus said, putting the empty teacup in the sink. "Thank you for everything, Molly."

"The pleasure was all mine, dear. I'm so happy for you two."

"You too, Ginny – thanks."

Ginny hugged him, not asking why she deserved a thank you. "Congratulations, Remus."

 


	23. Checkmate

_"White Pawn (Alice) to play, and win in eleven moves."_

The answer to Ginny's question about Harry, Ron, and Hermione's great plans came about a week after Teddy Lupin's birthday, when her father came home late in the evening, as broken as ever but at the same time excited.

"Did you hear the news?" He said to his wife and children, who were surprised by his excitement, and didn't even stop to take off his coat before spreading the evening issue of the Daily Prophet on the kitchen table.

Ginny and the twins abandoned their dinner and leaned over to look at the report that their mother was already scrutinizing carefully.

**_ A Security Breach At Gringotts Bank:  _ **

**_Three Suspects On The Run From the Ministry of Magic_ **

  
Under the headline stretched a long article that described the villainous burglars and their desire to disrupt the peace and order at any price, which couldn't interest Ginny any less. She was completely focused on the blurred images attached to the report, which showed three figures fleeing from goblins and Aurors on the back of a dragon. At the bottom of the page were the well-known wanted posters of Harry and Hermione, and a new poster, promising thousands Gallons on her brother's head. Like the photos of his friends, Ron's picture was old and out of date; Anyone who didn't know him might have passed him on the street without realizing he was the squinting boy in the picture.

"Awesome!" Fred called, watching his younger brother and his friends escape on the back of a dragon. "The Death Eaters must be eating their hands from anger..."

"I wonder what they were looking for?" George wondered aloud, no less enthusiastic than his brother.

Their mother, on the other hand, didn't seem excited. She covered her mouth as she touched the pictures with longing. "Breaking into Gringotts? Oh, Ronald... He could've been caught, or worse..."

"But they got away, didn't they?" Said Ginny, in which a sudden fighting spirit arose. "And I bet you they found what they were looking for."

The blueish evening turned into a cool, clear night. Through the window of the sitting room, a bright star glinted high above the fields, and through the window that was open to the silence of the night, a cool breeze carried with it the sharp smell of fertile soil and the blossoming of trees. Ginny sat in front of the fireplace with Fred, both of them engrossed in a game of wizards chess, while George lay idly on one of the armchairs, flipping a Gallon into the air and catching it skillfully. Their parents were still in the kitchen, talking in soft voices, and Ursula was still locked in Bill's old room.

"Bishop to eight D," Ginny ordered her chess-piece.

"Bugger..." muttered Fred.

"I warned you."

"That's not it." He reached into his pocket and took out a Gallon, just as his twin brother said, "Look at that."

The coin he was playing with was the enchanted DA Gallon. Fred showed his to Ginny. Instead of the bank's serial numbers, two words were written on it: **_It's Starting_**.

None of them had to ask what it meant. The spring evening suddenly lost its calm, and without words, they went into the kitchen to face their parents. They too seemed to feel the tension in the night air because they understood what their children were going to tell them even before they spoke. They sat at the end of the table, each cradling a cup of tea; They had never looked so old to Ginny.

"Do you have to go?" Their mother asked with a very uncharacteristic insecurity.

"That's the moment we've been waiting for, isn't?" Said Fred, trying to smile carelessly but failing.

"You too, Ginny?" There was a plea from her mother's eyes.

"I'm not a little girl anymore." As if saying the words had made them reality, the realization that it was so had struck her for the first. Everything she had known was going to change.

Their parents hugged and kissed each one of them. Their seriousness was strange, as if they were saying their goodbyes before a battle... As her father kissed her cheek, the realization that this was in fact what was happening made her feel a sudden chill.

"We'd better let everyone," Molly Weasley said to her husband, as businesslike as ever, wiping her face with the end of her apron.

"What? Oh, yes. Of course," her husband replied halfheartedly, looking at his children for the last time and failing to smile at them.

"Take whatever you need and meet us in our room in five minutes," George said to Ginny as they climbed the stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"The Hog's Head. Hurry up."

Ginny nodded willingly and ran up the stairs to her room. The window was open and the room was cold, but she didn't pause to close it. She put on comfortable shoes, a jacket, stuffed the DA coin into her pocket, and grabbed the wand that Harry had given her, which Ursula had salvaged from the Death Eaters, from the bedside table. Then she did one more stop before she went to Fred and George's room.

"What is it?" Ursula's voice rose from behind the door after Ginny had knocked on it hard. Knowing she had no time for politeness, she went inside. Ursula was sitting at the desk, the table lamp illuminating the pages of an old book.

"I'm going back to Hogwarts," she said at once. "To fight. You coming?"

Ursula looked at her as if she had suggested that she do something particularly boring. She turned her back to her and went back to her book. "No."

Ginny told herself that she shouldn't be surprised, while something in her was shaken by the girls carelessness. "We need anyone who can fight to end this – "

"In who's favor?" Ursula didn't even bother to look at her.

"In – " the realization hit her like a slap. She had known from the beginning that Ursula was a Slytherin, but she tried not to let that fact stand in the way of their relationship – after all, the Sorting Hat said they had to put their disputes aside to win the war – but maybe she had been naive. "You're on their side."

"I'm on my side." Ursula turned a page with a rustle.

A disgusting sense of betrayal, mixed with revulsion at the indifference of the other girl, pushed Ginny to leave immediately. The memory of the conversation still tormented her when she arrived at Fred and George's room, but when they arrived at the Hog's Head she had no time to think about it anymore. Lee Jordan was waiting for them there, trying to hide his nervousness with a smile, along with the innkeeper whom had been introduced to Ginny as The Old- Timer, and the twins called Aberforth.

"Longbottom should've asked before he turned my inn into a train station," he growled and started up the stairs. The four followed him into the room where Ginny had visited twice; The room in which a picture of a cheerful, golden-haired girl kept a secret passage that led to Hogwarts.

"We're going to have a lot of work tonight, Ariana," the old man said to the girl with a sigh, opening the passage. The twins and Lee climbed into it right away, and while Ginny waited for them to make room for her, the innkeeper turned to her, "I didn't expect to see you here again." He spoke distantly, as if he didn't want to be caught talking to her.

"Me neither," she admitted, climbing the mantelpiece. "But this is the moment I've been fighting for. That's the reason I bothered you so many times."

"You didn't bother me," he growled. "Even if this war is hopeless, your life is worth something."

"I'm glad you think so," she said sincerely, remembering Ursula. Perhaps her anger toward her wasn't entirely justified? After all, she endangered herself to save Ginny's life, and she would be forever thankful to her for that, even if she wasn't prepared to go into battle. "Thanks for everything. See you."

"I certainly hope so," she heard his reply before the passage closed behind her.

They walked for a few seconds in the dank, narrow passage before they heard the picture move behind them again.

"Hey, wait for me!"

Cho Chang hurried toward them, having no trouble moving between the narrow walls with her slender figure. She exchanged a few words with the others as they continued walking, and then the group sank into silence again. Ginny had never talked to Cho, and she wasn't going to start now. Perhaps her old feelings of jealousy toward the girl Harry had once preferred over her prevented her from doing so, or maybe it was the prospect of what was about to come that made mundane things like conversation appear pointless.

They walked for a long time. As they passed under the cast-iron net through which Ginny and Ursula had slipped away more than a month earlier, the black sky appeared above them, gloomy and starless. They knew they were approaching the other end of the tunnel when they heard dim voices ahead, getting louder and louder. Finally Lee pushed a hinged door, and a wave of light and sound shattered over them.

Ginny fell into a pool of familiar faces and greetings. All the members of the DA and other students surrounded her, and over her head stretched a high wooden ceiling of a room she didn't know at all. She scanned the faces around her, not knowing who to greet first. Seamus, Lavender, the Patil twins, Neville; They all looked roughed up, but happy to see her. Even Dean was there, his curly hair longer than ever, and his dark complexion faded, as if he had been locked up for a long time.

The center of attention was, of course, the trio they hadn't seen for so long. Harry, Ron and Hermione reminded Ginny the group of wandering adventurers from her parents' bedtime stories. They wore worn robes, and their hair was long and un-groomed; A few curls slipped out from Hermione's hair pins, and Ron and Harry both sported a few days' stubble.

Ginny longed to embrace each one of them, even – perhaps especially – Harry. As soon as their eyes met she smiled, absolutely without meaning to, as if it hadn't been a year from since the day she had been merely his best friend's sister, and they both loved each other more than they knew.

Their gazes didn't linger for long. Harry looked away almost instantly, and for a moment ceased to be the great and tormented hero of the wizarding world and transformed back into the shy boy who couldn't even exchange a word with a girl he liked.

"So what's the plan, Harry?" She heard George ask as she spotted Luna and hugged her forcefully. Luna giggled excitedly as if she had never been cruelly taken and imprisoned.

"Did they hurt you?" Ginny asked her quietly, letting the main conversation pass over her.

"I'm fine now, that's what matters," Luna assured her, touching a group of hairs on Ginny's shoulder affectionately. "Harry and Ron saved me."

Fred and George, who began making jokes, caught Ginny's attention. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were consulting in hushed voices. Finally, Harry, who kept touching the scar on his forehead as if it were bothering him, turned to the expectant DA,

"Alright," he said, and they all fell silent. "There's something we need to find..."

After a long discussion about a mysterious object called Ravenclaw's diadem, Cho Chang said, "If you want to see how the diadem is supposed to look, I take you to the common room and show you, Harry. Ravenclaw is wearing it in her statue."

Harry blinked in an odd way, as if trying to get a piece of dirt out of his eye. He whispered something to Ron and Hermione, looked at Cho, then returned to them and said, "Look, I know it's not a big clue, but I'm going to see this statue, at least to find out how the diadem looks. Wait here and keep, you know – the other one – safe."

Cho was already on her feet, and suddenly Ginny was filled by intense displeasure at the thought of her accompanying Harry through the darkened corridors of the castle, relying on each other for protection. Convincing herself that a DA member who had been fighting  in Hogwarts all year should be the one who would help Harry Potter defeat Voldemort, she burst out and said, "No, Luna will take Harry. Won't you, Luna?"

"Oh, yes, I'd love to," Luna said happily, and Cho sat back down, looking disappointed. Ginny knew she could count on Luna.

Neville showed Harry the exit. Harry covered himself and Luna in his Invisibility Cloak and then the door opened on its own and closed.

"What was he talking about?" Seamus asked Ron and Hermione. "What other one?"

"Just – something," Ron lied with a lack of talent.

Hermione went over to Ginny and hugged her.

"Hermione," Ginny said happily. "I've missed you."

"Me too," Hermione said seriously, holding her hands. "I was so worried after Ron told us what you were going through at Hogwarts this year..."

"Hermione, what were you doing all this time?" Asked Ginny, thinking Hermione would confide in her. She was wrong.

"I'm sorry, Ginny. You heard what Harry said – Dumbledore swore us not to tell."

"Yeah, but..." She didn't finish the sentence. Since they had all lived in number 12 Grimmauld Place together, she has started to see her brother and his friends as her friends. After the DA secret meetings and the night at the Department of Mysteries she thought she was one of them. But it seemed she had joined too late. Maybe she was never meant to be more than Ron's little sister.

As she was thinking she noticed Ron staring at her. She smiled at him, thinking he wanted to greet her, but he didn't react, and she realized he wasn't seeing her at all.

"I have an idea," he said suddenly, as if to himself.

"What idea?" Ginny asked, but he was still ignoring her. He signaled to Hermione and they turned to whisper out of the others' ear shot.

Ginny was about to follow them and demand to take part in that idea, just as she felt someone touch her shoulder. She turned to find Neville standing beside her, his face scratched and his hands bruised.

"I see things got worse," she commented on his battered appearance. She didn't know exactly how to approach him after they had been separated for so long without a proper goodbye.

"Your escape really brought up the morale here," Neville told her with excitement. "The Carrows didn't like it..."

"I'm sure they didn't," said Ginny, wondering if she should apologize for antagonizing their capturers. "You know I didn't mean any of that to happen."

"Of course you didn't," said Neville immediately. "No one thinks that... Well, it doesn't matter, I guess. I'm just sorry we couldn't help you before... Ginny, it really hurt me to see you chained to that wall, I – "

"I know," said Ginny. She really didn't want to talk about that.

"Anyway, it wasn't only bad," he went on. "In the fire that broke in Lestrange's office Seamus and I managed to steal the chest with the wands. He sent Carrow to look for it everywhere, but we hid it here, for the day we fight."

"You stole from Lestrange's office under the Voldemort's nose?"

"Your daring escape inspired us," said Neville with an enormous, brave smile. Seeing him there, surrounded by all the students who trusted him to protect and lead them, Ginny doubted her dubious leadership over the last few months.

Harry was away for a long time, and the wait for any change in the situation was nerve-racking, especially after Ron and Hermione left on mysterious mission, saying something about a bathroom.

As time passed, more and more people arrived: Graduated DA member, other senior students and members of the Order. News arrived with them – everyone were saying that this wasn't going to be just a fight over the castle, but a real, decisive battle between the two sides. A message from Professor McGonagall said that Voldemort himself on his way. That night would mark the end the war, for better or for worse.

 


	24. Nothing But a Pack of Cards

_"'Who cares for you?' said Alice (she had grown to her full size by then), 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'"_

Everything happened so fast outside; One moment the ceiling was shaking and she was hurling curses beside Tonks, and a moment later Harry, Ron, and Hermione were gone and Tonks wanted to find Remus, and Ginny was all alone.

Outside the window, lights of various colors shone in the night, illuminating in a threatening light a black swarm marching into the castle. Suddenly Ginny wasn't sure what to do, without the young Auror beside her. She raised her wand again outside the broken window, when a bolt of light hit one of the windows down the hall. The noise of the glass shattering and the thrust almost knocked Ginny off her feet, turning her head into a confused, unsteady place. She began to run, the floor swaying under her feet, and stumbled down a flight of stairs, barely managing not to fall down.

Not sure how, she came into a dark and quiet corridor. Her head was now clear enough to remember who she was and what her purpose was, even though her ears were still ringing from the blast. She touched her cheek, which burned very badly, and flinched when her fingers touched the little glass fragment that had sunk into her skin. She pulled it out blindly, even though she felt that it might do more harm than good to the wound, and threw the piece of glass on the floor with bloody fingers.

She heard a voice and tensed. At first she wasn't sure whether it was the result of the battle echoes in the walls or a real voice, but it soon became clear to her that someone was running fast in her direction. She quickly slipped into a nearby classroom, leaving the door slightly open to see who it was. After a moment Dean passed her in a amok run.

"Dean!" She hissed from her hiding place, but he didn't hear her. She left the classroom and ran after him, and then he noticed immediately.

"Death Eaters, just across the hallway," he gasped as she caught up with him. Without asking, he took her hand and ran on. "I think they saw me..."

"How did they get in?"

"Lestrange."

As always, the name managed to make her feel chills. But combined with the fighting spirit that filled her, there was also a sudden burning need for revenge.

"But I thought – "

"Apparently he managed to escape the teachers, or he hid until his master arrived... Come on, let's get rid of them."

They ran up the same stairway on which Ginny had stumbled a moment earlier and found themselves in the glass-paneled corridor of the Room of Requirement, illuminated by a multitude of colored lights flashing outside the broken windows. The reflection of the lights in the fragments of glass could have been beautiful at any other moment, but right then it was ominous.

"Someone's coming!" Dean pulled her into an alcove, behind a statue. They peered out cautiously and saw three figures, who didn't notic them, entering the Room of Requirement. Ginny recognized the brilliance of Malfoy's white hair and the enormous figures of his friends Crabbe and Goyle.

Ginny remembered something Harry told her a few minutes before. "Harry, Ron and Hermione are in there!" She said to Dean.

"They can take care of themselves," he told her. "We have to join the rest, or else – "

"We came here to fight, didn't we? Come on, they need our help!"

"Ginny, I saw what Harry and Ron are capable of," Dean said. "We'll only get in their way. If we really want to help, we have to go and help defend the castle. We can't stand here and argue – "

Ginny pulled her hand from his grip, a gesture she had made so many times before. "Fine. You go, but I'm staying to help them."

"Ginny," Dean muttered. "You're not even supposed to be here. I need to get you somewhere safe – "

"Story of my life," Ginny said bitterly, and began to run toward the Room of Requirement.

She was almost there when curse missed her and scattered glass fragments from the floor in all directions. She stopped abruptly, her shoes trampling the glass, and shielded herself just in time from a wave of curses that was directed at her. A few steps ahead of her, Dean was in a middle of a duel.

Ginny took advantage of the small window of opportunity that opened after the first attack to curse her assailants; A jet of purple light was shot from her wand like a huge flame with a will of its own, hitting the Death Eaters and knocking them off their feet. Then she slipped into a near alcove, forcing the remaining Death Eaters to come closer to get to her, and then get hit by Dean's curses from behind. One of them turned to him, but his curse was diverted at the last moment when a huge bat made of green bugger plastered him and his friend to the floor.

"Wicked, Ginny!" She heard Dean call. He took advantage of the Death Eaters' fleeting confusion to run from his hiding place to hers, facing the Death Eaters the whole time and his wand aimed at them, ready for the next duel.

Ginny began to tell him something which she later couldn't remember, though he wanted to very much, because at that moment a very unpleasant smell came to her nose and broke her train of thought. She realized it was a smell of something burning, just before the hall burst and her whole world whirled and disappeared behind an erupting screen of flames and smoke. Her head hit the wall hard and a shower of glass and sparks shattered on her.

She may have passed out, or maybe only in a very confused stupor. She vaguely realized that the explosion was over and that she was lying on the floor, her mouth full of blood and vomit, and her breath burning with smoke and dirt. She stared with unfocused eyes at the flames that erupted from the Room of Requirement, waving at her with greedy palms. Pieces of burnt paper, glowing like fireflies, and tiny glints of glass blown from the blast still floated calmly to the floor. The sight was so breathtaking in its beauty that for a moment Ginny felt no pain. Something very hot and heavy covered her. It was almost pleasant to lie there calmly, in the warmth...

She woke very slowly and realized that she was at the center of a battle. Curses flew freely over her head. Figures passed over, not even detecting her. She didn't know how long she'd been lying there – it might have been hours – until she realized she was not the only one taking cover the alcove. Someone standing over her, sending curses skillfully. She tried to focus, confused, like little Teddy Lupin when he opened his eyes to the world for the first time... The man wore a black cloak, and groomed black curls were pulled back from his face to make room for a silver mask...

A window shattered somewhere down the hall and she heard familiar voices. Fred? Percy? The memory of her brothers' presence reminded her who she was and where, and the memory brought with it a moment of clarity accompanied by the full pain of her wounds. She understood, through the screen of pain, that Rabastan Lestrange must think she's dead, lying under a fallen beam, or maybe no even aware of her in darkness.

She tried to move her legs but couldn't. After a few efforts, she managed to move her fingers and find her wand, which lay next to her limp hand. At first she couldn't pick it up, and by the time she got it, Lestrange had slipped away.

Not willing to let the opportunity slip away, Ginny gathered all her will and pushed the burnt beam over her. The sound it made as it hit the floor made it clear to her that she wasn't in fact deaf. She got to her feet, which cried out in pain, and ran into the battlefield. She spotted Lestrange immediately; He was in the midst of escaping the battlefield. She aimed at him a few curses that missed and then ran after him.

" **No! Fred! No!** "

The pain in her legs could have been unbearable, had it not been for the adrenaline that fueled them. Curses flew around her, missing her, giving her the feeling she was untouchable – that she was meant to catch Lestrange, even if the encounter would lead to her death. Someone shouted her name, but she was too close to stop. One curse – she had one chance to stop him before he disappeared down the stairs.

_"Avada Cadavra!"_

The green curse hit the wall beside him with full force and knocked him to the floor with a blast of stone and dust. He tried to get up, but she managed to reach him and step on his hand holding the wand, pinning him to the floor with a squeak of bones. He looked up at her, and she decided to throw aside his wand and tear the mask away, so she could see his disgusting face as she made him pay for all he had done.

He panted slightly, his hair disheveled, but his face was too cool and peaceful to her opinion. She planted her knee in his chest, making him choke, and held her wand to his neck.

"You should enjoy this moment, Lestrange." When she spoke her voice was hoarse with smoke and close to breaking. "You'll never be so close to a girl ever again..."

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this..." He tried to postpone the moment, waiting for one of his Death Eater friends to come to his aid.

"I did," she said, feeling tears filling her eyes, her throat, her nose, her whole body. "I hoped it would..."

"If so," he said, as patronizing as ever, as if she were back in his office waiting for her punishment, and he was lecturing her on her choices between light and darkness. "You're no better than us, the scum you're fighting against, aren't you?"

She shook her head, feeling dizzy from the fatefulness of the moment. "You won't convince me to let you go, not this time..."

"Go on then, Miss Weasley," he said, and she caught the spark of fear in his eyes. "Kill me. Taint your pure little soul with my blood. It will be good, I assure you – you'll feel powerful, in control... But it will only last for a while, while the stain that the murder will leave on your soul – it will remain for the rest of this life, and beyond."

Ginny wasn't about to let his venomous words affect her – not now, when she was so close. She had already said the words before, and meant them with all her heart. She could do it again, looking straight at the black evil eyes that had been haunting her for so long –

" **Ginny!** "

Her back arched as a curse hit her body; A fire spread through her bones and paralyzed them, and she remembered no more.

 

She woke up in the darkness, on a hard, cold floor. An ominous silence surrounded her.

Remembering were she was, she tried to sit up. The pain was unbearable, and she fell back down.

"You're awake," said Neville, creeping toward her from his place against the wall. "Madame Pomfrey is in the Great Hall – can you walk?"

"What happened?" She demanded, ignoring his words. "Lestrange – "

"I don't know," Neville replied. "I only got here after it was over."

Ginny cursed and covered her face, which was dirty and wounded under her hands. She was so close... To what? Revenge? Murder? She didn't know if it was worth it or not, but the thought that that monster was still free was tormenting.

"I have to find him," she said, trying to sit up again. It hurt no less, but this time Neville helped her.

"There's no point, Gin. There's a ceasefire, all the Death Eaters fled to the forest."

"So why are we still here?"

"I promised Harry that I would watch over you until the coast was clear, he had to run... But even when it was all over I was afraid to lift you, I was afraid – I was afraid you wouldn't wake up at all..."

Ginny looked at his face. Neville, who had recently become a leader, returned for a moment to be the stuttering, insecure boy she once knew.

"I'm fine," she claimed, more sharply than she intended, and tried to get to her feet. Neville helped her, and supported her as they limped towards the Great Hall.

Nothing could have prepare her for what she found there. Wounded and stunned people filled the hall, which looked strange without the big tables and the cheerful conversation, crying, embracing, resting... But no matter how much she tried to pretend, the terrible smell in the air and the orderly shape of the people lying on the floor in rows made it clear to her that those people were at their final rest.

"Ginny... Ginny..." She didn't recognize the voice. Even as mother pulled her into her arms with desperate force, she didn't recognize the broken, silent voice. She had never seen her mother cry before. An enormous fear to ask what had happened paralyzed her.

She would have liked not to know – to continue to exist without ever knowing – but the fact that all her family had gathered around one of the lying bodys couldn't escape her observation no matter how much she wanted to. She looked at the unmoving feet clad in snickers, the only detail her father and brothers weren't hiding from her view. She knew, but didn't quite realize, that it was Fred.

She had never seen him so still, not even in his sleep. Then, it couldn't have been him lying there. No – the person her father was mourning and Percy and George were crying over had to be a stranger, a man she didn't know...

She tried to look at the other faces to forget that unpleasant thought, but it only made things worse. A beautiful young woman, with short pink hair and a heart-shaped face was lying next to a peacful man with golden hair dotted with silver, her wedding ring gleaming in the light of the candles. Her husband's head was tilted, turning in her direction, whispering to her in her sleep.

Ginny turned from them to a series of unfamiliar faces, stopping on something that smelled horribly. It was black, elongated, resembling the shape of a human body, but it was too charred to possibly be one. Its face was empty, featureless, except for something that might have been a nose, and the remains of thick black curls that grew from his bruised scalp...

Her mother gripped her with trembling hands and turned her away. "Don't look..."

But it was too late. Ginny remembered the explosion in the corridor of the Room of Requirement. She imagined Dean's body hit by the burst of flames, flung in the air, as if he were nothing more than a doll...

Barely aware of her actions, she pushed her mother and Neville away and ran out. She managed to reach a dark corner of the Hall before she started vomiting uncontrollably.

The next few hours passed like a dream. Somehow she was taken back inside the Hall and a faceless Healer treated her wounds, which seemed infinite in number. One of her family members or friends had been at her side at any moment, even though none but Luna seemed to be actually aware of her existence. But she didn't mind – she was barely aware of their existence either.

Someone gave her water. She refused to eat. As soon as the Healer dismissed her she turned and collapsed on the floor beside her family, next to Fred's body. She looked at him but didn't cry. Perhaps she had already accepted the fact that he was dead, or more likely, hadn't fully internalized it. For the first time in a very long time, her head was completely empty of thoughts. It was as if she were still lying in the corridor on the seventh floor, confused and bruised, not even remembering her name.

Around her people came and went. Bill and Charlie had joined to mourn their brother in a stunned silence. Ron was nowhere to be seen. Neville disappeared, but Luna stayed by her side until Hermione arrived and wrapped her in a hug. Ginny didn't look at her face, but she knew it was her, and how it broke her to see the rows of bodies being slowly covered in sheets.

At one point she realized that the rows where getting longer. Neville and Oliver Wood lowered a body of a woman in a row parallel to Fred. Ginny stood up as if she were in a dream, her body following the hidden script of her mind. Stepping away from her mourning family, she followed the two as they left the Hall.

"Want to help put?" Wood asked her heavily, sounding very tired.

She nodded, knowing she had to keep herself busy or else she wouldn't be able to stay absorbed in the blessed thoughtlessness for long. She expected Neville to ask her to go back inside, to the illusion of safety, and was pleased when he said nothing.

The hours before the dawn were frozen and damp. Ginny's shoes, dirty with ash and blood, slipped over the dewy grass, and she let them carry her away from the other corpse- collectors down the hill to a lonely spot. Although dawn was supposed to be close, the sky was black as coal and empty of stars. Ginny wondered darkly whether they had ever actually been there, or were merely a distant dream. The sky was so dark, like Lestrange's eyes or Harry's hair, or Dean's charred body that was now lying in the Great Hall, and it was only her fault...

A faint weeping caught her attention. One of the lifeless dolls that lay motionless on the ground was alive, her whole body trembling with every sob as she cried for her mother.

Ginny knelt beside her, almost falling. "Everything's all right," she lied to her, and the lie was also comforting to her. "We're going to get you inside now."

"But I want to go _home_ ," whispered the girl, her eyes digging into Ginny's heart painfully as if it could provide her any comfort. "I don't want to fight anymore..."

"I know," said Ginny, her voice breaking. That girl's pain and misery were unbearable, probably because they reminded her so much of what she was feeling. "Everything will be all right."

She helped the girl to her feet, and suddenly a strange feeling that someone was watching her made her look into the night. There was nothing but darkness. The thought that Harry might be standing on the edge of the forest and looking at her, watching over her, comforted her.

 

A thin strip of dawn was revealed beyond the treetops of the Forbidden Forest, wakening a sense of peace among the survivors of the battle. That was the moment when the cold, terrible voice that had opened the battle that night sounded again, echoing between the battered castle walls, almost terrible enough – but still not quite – to wake the dead sleeping under the slowly brightening ceiling.

_"Harry Potter is dead..."_

The voice carried threats, promises and statements no one wanted to believe. Still, they all turned to the entrance to the castle as one, knowing that the time for mourning and rest was over.

Voldemort was standing before his Death Eaters in the pre- dawn darkness, an army of silvery-faced shadows. Among them stood a huge, familiar figure –  Hagrid – weeping into a bundle he was carrying in his huge arms. And the bundle was – no, Voldemort hadn't lied –

" **No!** "

Ginny might have shouted at that moment, she wasn't sure. Her body continued to function – it had to – but the essence of her existence was crammed and frightened deep inside her, crying and waiting for everything to be over.

What did it mean, now that Harry has also become a still and lifeless thing like the rest of them? Strange, he didn't look any different...

She couldn't take her eyes off him, even as people around her screamed and tried to struggle when the Dark Lord demanded that they accept their authority, because their hero was dead, defeated, hunted like an animal...

It's impossible, she told herself, and was sure it wasn't just denial. Looking at Harry's body, now laying at the feet of his greatest enemy, she wondered how anyone could think he was dead. He didn't look as small and helpless as the other dead people; He was alert, calculating, not slack and miserable, but more powerful than ever. Even Dumbledore didn't look like that when he died.

Before she realized what was happening, Neville was at the center of the scene, defiant and full of rage. And then the fight started again; The giants, whom Ginny had missed during the battle, stormed in again, and arrows were fired as the Centaurs attacked the Death Eaters from the forest. A silver flame flashed in the grey darkness, and Neville swung a mighty sword and cut off the head of Voldemort's snake.

She found herself at the center of the most desperate battle she had ever witnessed. She held out her wand, looking for dangers; With a sharp instinct she deflected a curse aimed at her by Bellatrix Lestrange. She couldn't handle her alone, no matter how desperate and angry she was, and even with Luna and Hermione's help, they couldn't push her back.

She watched in amazement as her mother joined the fight, determined to protect her, and for the first time in her life she really saw her. From that day on she wasn't the bothersome and anxious woman, but a mother who simply wouldn't allow her children get hurt. Not a mother goose, but a warrior.

She watched the scene as if she weren't part of it at all. She saw Bellatrix fall, and for some reason the sight of the life leaving her body didn't shake Ginny, although she had never someone die right before her eyes. Then Voldemort, who was closer to her than she realized, raised his wand with his red eyes glowing, furious like an animal –  but his curse was blocked by a magical shield.

He turned sharply, like a snake that had lost sight of its prey, and found Harry Potter standing before him.

Years later, Ginny never doubted that Harry would win that battle. The running, the planning and the secrets were the hard part, but for that moment he had been preparing all his life, and he was ready to face it. The the fateful moment had come when he had to face his greatest fear once and for all, and Ginny had no doubt that he would do it bravely.

Looking at his determined face as he confronted Lord Voldemort as dawn colored the sky with a hopeful shade of pink, she remembered the eleven-year-old boy she had met years ago at the train station. That boy had grown and become a man, but the determination on his face and his desire to overcome the obstacle in front of him, whether it was a magicl barrier or the Dark Lord, were the same fierce fire that held back the fear and held it under strict control. They were just children at the time, but she knew without a doubt that she had loved him even then. That was the one thing she had always known for sure.

 

 


	25. Just a Dream

_"Life, what is it but a dream?"_

It was still early morning when a stream of smoke rose from the heart of the Forbidden Forest and dispersed against the bright spring sky. The survivors of the battle, who were still roaming the castle like lost ghosts, watched the smoke in silence, searching for something to distract them from the memories of the night they had gone through.

The smoke lingered, turning blacker and thicker, then dwindled and finally disappeared, leaving no trace but a sharp, bitter smell that was carried by the wind. Shortly after Harry came out of the forest and entered the castle without a word. Everyone noticed that Voldemort's inhuman body had disappeared, but no one commented on it.

Ginny tried to find solace in Neville and Luna, who were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table, too exhausted even to sleep. Neville studied his reflection on the blade Gryffindor's sword, which was resting on the table between them, turning it over and over uneasily. But she couldn't stand their shocked silence for long – she had to find something to distract her from the hole that had opened within her, and was only widening by the hour. So she got up and left without a word, releasing Luna's hand.

She turned quickly toward the Gryffindor Tower, trying not to look around at the debris and ruin, for fear of painful memories. She hadn't been sure what she expected to find at the top of her beloved and familiar tower, but she found it.

The common room was just as it had been, not at all damaged by the battle. It was comforting. A student she didn't know was sleeping on one of the couches, and a hard-working house- elf was lighting the fireplace for him without his knowledge. Ginny walked quietly past them and climbed to the boys' dorms, where she had spent many nights in the past year. The sound of running water from the seventh year's dorm made it clear that she wasn't the only one who thought to go there.

Ron and Hermione were asleep, side by side, washed and bandaged. Hermione's damp hair was scattered across Ron's chest, and his face was turned towards her, as if he had been watching her intently before he fell asleep. The water were running in the bathroom, it's door half open. Through the mirror Ginny got glimpse of Harry, who was washing his head under the faucet.

She stepped in quietly and stood at the sink beside him, waiting for him to address her. For a split second she caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the mirror, and immediately looked down. She dreaded the moment she would have to face her bruised reflection. She wanted to keep floating peacefully in space, without a personality, without feelings or thoughts. She didn't t want to look in the mirror and remember that she was Ginny Weasley.

Harry took his time. He pulled his dripping hair from the running water and dried it with a towel, hiding his face from her. A trickle of water darted down his neck and bare back. Ginny took another towel and dried it gently. Harry thanked her hoarsely.

It didn't look like he was about to say anything else, so she took his place at the sink. She washed her bruised arms to the elbows, and then rinsed her face and hair, cleaning herself of dirt, sweat, and blood. It felt good, soothing. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn't wash the feeling of tears from her skin.

"I'm sorry," she heard him say as a towel was covering her face. "About Fred."

She could see that he was embarrassed by her proximity after everything that had happened, but she didn't expect him to degenerate to plain manners, as if they were stranger. He wasn't sorry; Her brother's death made him feel things much worse than grief.

"He wasn't the only one." She didn't know why she said it, as her wet hair hid her face. For a moment she might have intended to tell him about Dean, about his fate, but the intention slipped away quickly, along with an impulsive urge to tell him how a few months earlier she had been willing to replace him with a boy who was now laying in the shape of a burnt skeleton a few floors below.

When she pushed her hair from her face Harry handed her a potion.

"For healing," he explained at her questioning gaze.

"You take it," she said. His upper body was a scattering of old scars and new bruises.

"You need it more than I do," he determined.

"We'll share it," she compromised, knowing that the argument could last for hours.

He gave her a look that said that he was thinking the same thing. He handed her the veil after he had drunk half the potion, and she drank the other half. Drinking half of the potion was probably not enough to induce any change in their injuries, however, it seemed to hasten the recovery of some internal wound; As she place the empty viel in the sink, she felt that the tension between them had diminished.

She leaned back on the counter and he mirrored her, patiently waiting for her to speak.

"Now you could tell me?"

Harry might not have known that, but that question had been bothering her for years. She constantly felt that there were things he wasn't telling her – a secret plan he was making with Ron and Hermione, some impending menace of Voldemort's design, or just a pent-up feeling that was weighing on him and he wouldn't share with anyone.

"Can we talk about it another day?" He answered, as if they had all the time in the world to talk about what had happened. In fact, Ginny realized with a strange feeling of hope, they really had all the time in the world...

"I'm going to visit Andromeda Tonks," he said suddenly. He spoke with uncertainty, almost shyly, as if he hadn't defeated the most evil wizard of that century a few hours ago. "Want to come with?"

She replied by embracing him, making it clear that she was no longer angry with him for leaving – that there was no room for it beside the terrible sadness and guilt that filled her. All she ever wanted to feel for him was love.

He wrapped his arms around her instantly, as if he wanted nothing more in the whole world. He held her with a strange, careful gentleness, as if he were afraid that she was just a lifeless echo that would evaporate if he grabbed it too hard.

She allowed her cheek to sink into the warmth of his bare skin as she followed the familiar lines of his back with her hand. The feeling was familiar and comforting. Why hadn't she done it before? It would have saved her so much pain. And why hadn't he done it before, if he longed for it so much? Perhaps he was ashamed to need her comfort, or afraid she would reject him. Strange what fears haunt the heart of the greatest hero.

After a while he pulled his face away from her hair. With the disengagement, the heat of his body and the rhythm of his breathing left her. She wandered if this was the moment of death felt like, as the breath and the heat left the body. She pushed it out of her head angrily.

They finished cleaning up in silence and left Ron and Hermione to sleep peacefully, as long as they could. Ginny was wearing clothes she had found in one of the girls' rooms, which belonged to a girl who might have been dead. The survivors were still roaming the castle, resting by the walls or eating restlessly around the tables in the Great Hall. They gazed at the two as they passed. Ginny struggled to act like Harry and ignore them. At the moment everyone were still in the throes of battle, but Ginny knew that one day people would run up to shake Harry's hand and greet him as he passed them by chance.

Ginny's father was sitting with his two eldest sons on the main steps like vagabonds with no purpose. They squinted in the sun as Harry and Ginny walked past them, as if they were strange creatures like which they had ever encountered before. Ginny told them where they were going.

"Take care," her father told her, out of habit or because he still hadn't realized it was all over. He looked as if he had aged by many years overnight; The tears plucked deep wrinkles over his cheeks and around his eyes, which were lacking the joy Ginny had known. She couldn't bear to look at them.

Every trace of the battle had vanished from the grounds, as if everything had been a bad dream that escaped at dawn. It was just a perfect spring day in early May, and it gave Ginny another reason to want to cry.

They Apperated to the English countryside, which was sunny and blooming. Andromeda Tonks' house should have been the same as on night Teddy Lupin had been born, just a few weeks before –  so why did it look haunted and threatening now?

Ginny and Harry stood outside the well-tended fence that surrounded the garden, both afraid to take the first step, as though they thought that if they would step inside the house they would defile it with the stench of battle they carried with them.

A phantom face watched them through the lace curtain in the kitchen window. After a few moments the door opened and Andromeda Tonks stood in the doorway. She was a tall, graceful, impressive woman, but at that moment she looked small and broken. By the white, blank mask she wore, it was clear that she had already received the news. They met midway between the gate and the door. No empty words of comfort were exchanged, only two long hugs from a mother who had lost her daughter.

"Tonks was like a sister to me," Ginny felt the need to share that piece of information with Tonks' mother, while the three of them sat in the living room around three untouched cups of tea.

"She used to talk about you much," Andromeda confirmed, her face cracked into a sad smile. "She never liked being called Nymphadora... she always insisted on Tonks, ever since she was just nine..."

"That was the first thing she told me." Harry hadn't spoken until that moment. His voice was terribly leveled. "And Remus..." He stopped abruptly. He leaned over his knees and dug his knuckles between his eyes, letting his glasses slide down his nose. Maybe it was a method he developed to stop the tears.

There was a shriek from the upper floor. Andromeda rubbed her face tiredly and stood up, but Ginny stopped her and went up instead of her.

Teddy Lupin, who had grown much since the last time she saw him, moved uneasily in his cradle, his hair flashing in a sickly greenish tinge. Ginny picked him up carefully, trying to hold him steadily despite his constant movements, and began to rock his little body in an attempt to calm him down. Nothing worked. Teddy seemed to sense that something was wrong, that his parents who had parted from him lovingly the night before would never come back to watch him grow. He was hungry, but his mother wasn't there to feed him. He was afraid, but his father wasn't there to protect him...

The thought that this little baby would never see his parents again was unbearable. She burst into uncontrollable crying. She tried to bite her lip to stop the weeping, but they was too powerful to hold back, and made the baby's crying more hysterical.

"Don't cry," Ginny said between the tears, "Auntie Ginny is here..."

Fred and George's mobile shone with beautiful lights behind the screen of her tears, making her cry even louder. She would never see them together again, joking and looking for trouble; Already George's face has changed from grief and guilt, becoming different from his brother's. He would never be the same. Nothing would ever be the same.

Harry appeared in the doorway. He noticed that she was crying, but she tried to act as if everything was all right. She asked him to hold the baby so she could find something for him to eat, and used her free hands to wipe her face.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Harry said, trying not to drop Teddy, who was swaying and wailing in agitation.

Ginny sniffed and went over to fix his grip on the little body. "You play Quidditch," told him, placing Teddy's little head in Harry's hand. "Imagine you're holding a Quaffle."

"The Quaffle usually doesn't move so much..."

Teddy opened a pair of golden eyes and stared straight at him, his reassuring, unfamiliar voice arousing his curiosity. He seemed to relax a little, but after a while went back to screaming at the top of his lungs. Harry looked helpless. Ginny saved him with a bottle of baby formula, which Tonks left ic case she would be away for a long time. If only she had known...

"That's it," she said to the suckling baby, wiping a tear from her eye. "You were just hungry..."

Teddy held the bottle with a pair of chubby hands, his little feet kicking happily in the air. He looked at the couple looking over him curiously. Slowly his eyes turned green, and his hair a strong shade of orange, inspired by Ginny's hair. Harry smiled at him naturally, and the sight fascinated Ginny.

"I'm his Godfather," he told her.

"I know," she said, stroking the baby's smooth face. He seemed so calm in the arms of his Godfather, who also had a moment of calm while concentrating on the baby. Desperate to be part of the beautiful picture, she laid her head on Harry's shoulder, surrounding Teddy with protective walls. Harry placed a kiss on her forehead.

"My brother is dead."

The courage to say the words aloud brought her to the point of no return, with a new wave of tears – she could no longer stay in denial. The grief, the guilt, the regret – they all overflowed and flooded her, leaving her no choice but to release everything and let it keep coming.

Harry was silent. Heavy, hot drops hit her scalp, like burning rain. The knowledge that he was also crying as consoling. He cried without making a single sound, his body so steady it was hard to believe he was really crying. She didn't look up at him for a long time, knowing he wouldn't allow her to see him cry, that he couldn't stand the shame. There were times when she thought he couldn't cry even if he wanted to.

She couldn't believe that she could one day gather enough strength to be brave again, as she had been in the past few months – brave for her family, for her friends, for Harry and Teddy... But the thought that now she was the one who would have to save the Chosen One, not from the Dark Lord or his followers, but from himself, reminded her that the valor she had found in herself during those terrible days could never be taken form her, even if she wanted to.


	26. Ninteen Years Later

Harry was still looking at the tracks, even after the train and his sons were no longer visible. As usual, he was lost in thought and didn't even notice that around him the world was still turning.

Ginny put a hand on his back. He turned to her, not even aware that he had once again disengaged himself from the world and returned to the realm of his memories.

"I'll just miss them," he explain himself.

"Me too," Ginny said. There was nothing more to say. As parents, they both knew that the day would come when they would have to set their children free and let them find their own way in the world.

"Mom, how many days there are in a year?" Lily suddenly asked, oblivious to the exchange of looks between her parents.

"Three hundred and sixty-five."

"That means I have..." She squeezed her little face in thought. "Eight hundred... No, seven hundred... Thirty and... Yes – seven hundred and thirty days before I go to Hogwarts!"

Harry smiled at her sadly and stroked her lovely red hair. She was their sweet little girl, and they had only seven hundred and thirty days to cherish her before they had to let her go too.

"I don't have to be in the office until the afternoon," he said to Ginny. "I thought we could have an early lunch in the city."

"That's a great idea," agreed Ginny, who had recently read about her husband in the paper more than she had seen him at home.

Her friends and the other women in the family couldn't understand how she could treat these absences with such patience. She would reply with a meek smile and a shrug. None of them knew Harry like she did, didn't know his inability to sit calmly in his home while a dangerous criminal or a wicked dark wizard were walking free. As with her children, Ginny knew she had to let her husband be free so he could be happy.

Her husband's consuming job had troubled her many times during their marriage. Once or twice she even swore in her angry heart that she would make him choose between her and his job. But later she regretted these thoughts and was glad she didn't utter them aloud. Harry was a good man, a loving husband and a devoted father; He was much worse than most men, and certainly better than many others. Knowing that while she watched their children play in the privacy of their home, he was working hard so that they and the rest of the children of the world would be safe was enough to make her wait for him to return every night.

She linked her arm with his as they turned to the exit the platform, until Lily squeezed in between them, demanding the full attention of both of them.

They stopped to say goodbye to Teddy, who had been staring distantly into the crowd. When Lily demanded to know whether he and her cousin were in love, his hair brightened with strong red tinge and he stammered something unclear. He was a tall young man who loved, like his mother, to turn his hair into different and bold colors. He reminded Ginny of Tonks in many ways, but he had a calm and wise- beyond- his- years facade that resembled his father.

Ron and Hermione disappointingly refused the offer to have lunch together. Unlike Harry, Ron had to go to work, and Hermione planned to take Hugo to visit her parents. In truth, Ginny wasn't disappointed that they couldn't come – she wanted to spend the afternoon alone with her husband and daughter.

They ate at a small restaurant close to the train station, where they had eaten almost every year since they had first sent James to Hogwarts. In the middle of the meal Lily lost her appetite and began to play with the food on her plate reluctantly. Ginny sensed she was missing her brothers.

"You'll see Jamie and Al at Christmas, sweetheart," she assured her.

"But it's so much time," Lily said sadly.

If she only knew how wrong she is, Ginny thought to herself. Time passes by so fast...

They remained seated after they had finished, and the sad, sleepy Lily found her way into her father's lap. Her big dark eyes watched the people pass by the window without actually seeing them, letting her parents talk over her head.

Harry kissed her hair absently. She would never know how hard that simple gesture could be for him – he had never been loved like that as a child. None of their children would know how strange and frightening it was for him to love them so much, would never know what life he lead before they came into the world – to that very day, Ginny herself didn't know all the details. Because of old and painful memories he would still suffer from nightmares and insomnia, to which his children were entirly oblivious; Only she felt it when he woke sharply in the dark of the night beside her and left her to sleep alone, or watched her out of darkness until she couldn't keep herself awake anymore.

A gray urban rain began to fall from the autumn sky, clearing the smoke of cars and cigarettes from the air, brushing the worn pavements. Time really did pass quickly – before she knew it it will be snowing, and her two sons will be home again, a little different and a little older, full of new knowledge and experiences.

The rain in the countryside where their home stood was stronger, but the low sky was wide open and the autumn sun shone on every drop, struggling to keep the gloomy dark until its time to come to the world. Lily gazed out the window, looking for a rainbow.

The house was quiet. Even the sound of Lily's footsteps running up the stairs to her room couldn't break the empty silence left behind by the two excited boys.

Ginny took off her coat and let her hair down, allowing it to slide freely over her shoulders. She pushed aside the curtain of then kitchen window and glimpsed at the garden gate, as if she expected to find someone there. Only then did she notice that their owl had brought mail when they were away, and there were a letter and parcel addressed to her.

The letter was form Luna, who was now living with her husband and twin sons in South Africa, where they were leading an search for a magical and legendary creature, who few believed in its existence. The letter was written on a pink paper in green ink, and was as full of excitement and concern as ever. Her best friend asked her about her children and husband and updated her on the expedition news. Ginny smiled as she read –  Luna's words could lift her spirits in every situation – and then sat at the kitchen table to write a reply two-parchments long.

The package was thick and square, wrapped in smooth white wrapping paper. It gave no details as to the identity of the sender, or any other detail, even after Ginny had turned it over in her hands several times and tapped it with her wand. She tore a small tear in the wrap and peered inside. It was a stylish looking book. She peeled off the wrapping.

 _Masks,_ was the name of the book, the word engraved in large silver letters on an impressive leather binding. It was the first and exclusive edition of the book. She looked at the spine for the name of the author.

_By Ursula A. Lestrange._

"I'm heading out."

She didn't even notice that Harry had entered the kitchen after changing his muggle clothes into robes and taking his briefcase. "I think I'll be back late. Don't wait up."

She nodded distractedly and let him kiss her.

"Something happened?" He asked. She showed him the book. He flicked in it a little, his face blank, and showed her the page after the title page. It was blank except one sentence:

_'To Ginevra,_

_A heroine of a different story.'_

"She must've appreciated you after all," said Harry, who knew her and Ursula's story.

"Yeah. Probably."

She didn't expect that after so many years of silence she would hear from that girl – no, from that woman – again. She disappeared after the war, and Ginny never bothered to try and find her – she had never quite forgiven her selfish refusal to fight for what she knew was right. With time the memory of her waned. Now Ginny realized that she had been the selfish one; Ursula had saved her life, yet she had never even bothered to ask her what her last name was.

 _Lestrange_. The name brought up a wave of terrible memories, faint but still a little sore. Only one last descendant of that family was known to be alive today, even if he could never be caught. Ginny wanted to believe that Ursula was a distant relative of the three infamous Death Eater, that she had always been a Lestrange, even if Ginny didn't know it. She wanted to stop the imaginary events that started to play in her head like a muggle film, describing what had happened to Ursula once she had fled the Burrow so many years ago. Who she had turned to. She used to tell Ginny she was special and fascinating – but she hadn't been the only one she had described that way.

"You okay?" Harry asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, placing the book back inside the wrapping.

He smiled his crooked, loving smile at her and kissed her lips. "I love you, Gin."

"I love you too," she replied, forgetting the book for a moment, and kissed him back. "Go save the world."

She watched him through the kitchen window as he crossed the garden, the wind ruffling his hair, until he passed the gate and Apperated. Rain hit the ground where he had been standing, and Ginny decided she would wait for him to come home anyway.

She took Luna's letter and the book and went up to their room. She put the letter in her drawer, along with the other letters she had received over the years from her and Neville, and then stripped the book from the wrapping and put it on her lap.

 _Masks_ , the silver letters mocked her, gleaming by the light of the bedside lamp. She dreaded reading the book, and yet couldn't bring herself to put it away. Ursula had dedicated the book to her, and to her alone – so what was it about? It was obviously not about her, so was it about Harry, who she thought was so tragic? Or about Voldemort and his Death Eater? It was called _Masks_ , after all, and Ginny could never forget these ominous silver masks. Or was it about a different hero – an anti-hero – someone Ursula adored despite all the horrible things he had done?

Realizing the dangerous waters her mind was sailing into, Ginny pushed the book into the drawer at once. She didn't like to think about what had happened all these years ago. The thoughts awakened ghosts from their resting place, ghosts who would stay hidden during the day and come visit her in her sleep. There they would haunt her in the forms of a beautiful white bride, a devil with black eyes and a boy engulfed in flames. She would wake from these dreams in terror, with a burning urge to make sure her children where still safe in their beds. They always were, but she still couldn't rest.

Lily's voice calling for her shattered her thoughts. For a moment she forgot where she was. Then, the comfort of her and her husband's home and the safety of the present brought a faint smile to her face. She got up and went to give her daughter a hug, just because she could.

 

 


End file.
